Purpose




Thoughts of a messed up Christian saved by God's grace





Sunday, December 31, 2023

An extra day

  


Do you ever wish there were more hours in your day? More days in your week - well, maybe in your weekend?

  I need to be honest and admit I don't have a whole lot going on. I work four ten-hour days, and don't have a lot of responsibilities outside of work other than housework. I do find myself wishing time would slow down and the days didn't go by so fast...especially days off. Seriously.

 If you had some extra hours, what would you do with them? What about 24 hours, as in a whole extra day?

  Good news, people: since this is leap year, you get that. A whole extra day. Thanks to this every four years having an extra day in it, we all get an extra day in this new year approaching like a freight train. (It does seem time goes faster the older we get.)

Speaking of which.....do you know how long this leap year thing has been going on? Since 46 B.C. And the credit goes to good old Julius Caesar. I wonder of my good friend Shirley Dye was around to help with that decision? 😀 Many years later in the late1500's, it was changed to only years divisible by 400. (I was being silly before. It makes much more sense that Shirley Dye was around for that decision).😎



 Ever wonder what people do for birthdays that are born on February 29? By the way, they are called a leapling or leaper. Most of them observe their birthdays on February 28, and some on March 1.

So, now that you have an extra day allotted to you in 2024, what are you going to do with it?

  I asked myself that question a couple of leap years ago....I think 8 years ago. I didn't do it on February 29 - you don't have to take it as your extra day, any day will work. I reserved a night's stay at the Dutch Host Inn in Sugarcreek, Ohio, the Amish part of Ohio. I am around an hour from there. This inn has package deals during the slower times of the year, and February happens to be a slower time. (Because what sane person wants to go anywhere in the winter unless it is to a warmer climate?!)


 The package prices vary on the part of the week you go. Weekends are more. And they knock off a bit for one person. So for somewhere between $90 +, you get the night's stay at a nice inn, your choice of three different restaurants for supper and breakfast, and several other free things such as bread, candles, cheese, bologna, serving spoons, BBQ sauce, and more. Usually around 20 or so businesses participate. You are given an envelope of coupons and a map, and go all over Holmes County, Ohio getting free stuff. When I was a security guard at the hospital, the other guards called it my Amish scavenger hunt. It is fun.
Oh. I just looked at the current packages. Prices have gone up a bit since I have gone. Yikes. Definitely cheaper to spend my extra day off at my bachelor pad. Unless I take the nephews out to eat. 😀


Of course, these days I prefer to stay home and enjoy the solitude. I will probably use my extra day to read, though my perfect day is spending time with my family.

But seriously: This new year does have a whole extra day. What are you going to do with it? A lot of people have tons more responsibilities than single old avoiding people me...but at least attempt to do something special that day. Get a babysitter and do something special. If you are female, get a babysitter for your kids AND husband, and get some "you" time. If you are a married guy, tell the little wife you are going hunting or whatever married guys do if they can escape for a few hours. 😎 

Seize that extra day and do something special with it. 

I for one do plan on asking for an extra day off at some point. I have a 9 day vacation starting Saturday, but that doesn't count.


Sunday, December 17, 2023

Blue Christmas

  


A few years ago, I saw a church sign advertising a Blue Christmas service. I was curious, and looked it up:


"Blue Christmas Service is a Western Christian tradition that happens on or around the longest night of the year, usually December 21 the Winter Solstice. It is about comforting fellow Christians who are grieving and struggling to find joy and hope during the season."

  I love Christmas, but have been struggling this year to get in the mood. I was late listening to Christmas music - and I usually start in late September or early October. I didn't feel like decorating, and wasn't going to....but that didn't set well with my nieces. The youngest and oldest with her baby (my great niece!) came over last week and put my tree and other decorations up while I babysat. That kind of kick-started me, so I have decorated more and have gotten into the mood more. And finally did my Christmas shopping.

 My depression has been really bad, and seasonal depression seems to be jumping on also. I work Christmas day. Again. The Buzard family Christmas is going to be crammed into a few hours Christmas Eve between Sunday dinner and the Christmas Candlelight service. I am still not extremely in the mood.

 But I have my whole family. And I am thankful for that. So I really don't have it that bad. There will be a lot of people facing Christmas for the first time this year without a loved one. And others still grieving from other years.


  I have a friend at work - she actually works in my doctor's office, which is in the hospital. She is a great person, and one of my favorite people at the hospital. Five years ago, her husband passed away suddenly. She isn't one of those people who remarried before the grass grew over the burial plot. She is still sad a lot of days. I give her a hug once in a while when I know she is having a bad day with it. She told me recently that it is really hard on the yearly occasions. Holidays, his birthday, their anniversary. Thankfully she has two little great grandkids that help, but she and many others struggle with grief at this time of year, missing someone who will not be at the family gatherings. There will be no gift under the tree to or from them.

 I stopped at the local grocery store after work last night, and asked the lady ringing me up "Are you ready for Christmas?" She made a face, and said "well, I haven't really celebrated the last few years since my dad passed away around Christmas." I made some sympathetic comments, and then told her about these Blue Christmas services some churches have. She seemed interested and said she might check it out.

  As so many of us celebrate, make merry, and get into the season, it doesn't really occur to a lot of us that not everyone feels merry this time of year. Many are sad and grieving because of losses of loved ones this year, or other years. There is no time limit on grief. Some people seem to move on more easily, and others never seem to. And there is nothing wrong with that.

 These last few years have been tough on a lot of people. Covid has affected so many so differently. My entire family has had it twice. I had it bad enough the first time that I was admitted to the hospital I work at for 5 days, but no one else in the family had it very bad other than me the fist time. But others lost family members to it. And many of them are still grieving over their loss.



 There is something we all need to remember at this time of year. The celebrating, gift giving, decking the halls - that is all well and good, as long as you keep Christ in your Christmas. But, to use a much overused phrase - remember the Reason for the Season. All of these people grieving and sad....they are part of the reason Jesus came. He came for us. God sent His only Son to this earth as an innocent baby that would grow up and die for the sins of the world. "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life."(ESV)



 That is Christmas. Not the lights, parties, gift exchanges. It is about the Savior who can save, heal, comfort. One doesn't need all the celebrating to observe Christmas. We can all kneel at the manger, worship the Savior, and seek his comfort and help.

 There was sadness and grief the first Christmas. When the wise men came seeking Jesus all those years ago, King Herod had all the babies in the area of Bethlehem killed.

 So let's be considerate of those grieving during the holidays. Do something nice for them. They may not feel like attending a Christmas party or service, but a small gift, supper dropped off, a gift card, etc. might help them a little.

Sunday, November 12, 2023

Chatting with "Sally"

 


I have met a lot of interesting people working at the hospital for the last 10 years. I was security, ER greeter, then for the last seven years I have been working at the information desk in the main lobby.

These COVID years have been rough with a lot of rude and mean people taking their unhappiness about the rules and restrictions out on whoever is at the front desk. The biggie right now is the age limit. You must be at least 12 years old to visit patients, with the exception of maternity. And man, have I taken many a verbal beating over that.

However, there are a lot of nice people who come through the main lobby.

And "Sally" is a recent one. That isn't her name, but is the name the transport van gave me when they came to pick her up. That didn't make it easy to track her down.😊

It turns out she decided to be seen in the the ER after she had been done with an appointment, and was not ready to leave. Sally is an African American lady in her 60's who is in a motorized wheelchair (She looks older than her 63 years, but I wouldn't tell her that). I assume the wheelchair is mostly because she has two prosthetic feet. Though she can walk some on them. She demonstrated for me and others. I chatted with her for a few, then went back to my desk.

She came out to the lobby later to wait for her ride, and parked by my desk. And we chatted on between people coming and leaving. I found her to be an interesting lady. Three time cancer survivor. Double foot amputee. Three heart attacks. And she gives God the credit for making it through it all. She has an amazing outlook in life.

She fostered 30-some kids in her lifetime.

Both of her parents died in her arms.

She told me about her family, and I talked about mine. I showed her pictures of Addie, my 11 month old niece.

We talked about food and recipes. I swear any conversation I am in goes around to food at some point.

And we talked about life. Trials and hard times.

We talked about Noah Galloway, a military guy who lost part of an arm and leg in an IED explosion, who turned to alcohol and self pity. Then one day as he looked at himself in the mirror, he had the thought that he should be thankful for what he had left, instead of being bitter about what he lost. He started training for marathons and other activities, and became the first double amputee to appear on the cover of Men's Health.

We talked about Joni Eareckson Tada and Nick Vujicic. She, paralyzed from the neck down since 1976. He, born with no arms or legs. Both of them used by God. And how all of us can accomplish things no matter our condition or lot in life.

I left for the day before her ride came.

With my jacket on and backpack slung over my shoulder, I stopped by her wheelchair. "Well, Miss 'Sally', it has been nice chatting with you. I hope your ride comes soon, but have Ashley in the ER call again if not."

She held her arms out, and said " I enjoyed talking to you also. Give me a hug!"

I leaned down and gave her a hug, and she said "You give good hugs!"

I wished her a good night, and headed for home, my day and life all the better for meeting that very nice and sweet lady.

She will definitely be one of those good people that will stick in my mind.

Monday, December 12, 2022

How political can and should Christians be?


I have sat on this post for a few months after typing it up. Today, a woman I like and admire a lot, and look up to, said something that really, really disappointed me. She said on social media "about time for a mean tweet!" I still have confidence in her, and I will never, ever be the mature Christian that she is......but why are so many Christians from the most conservative churches like mine, defending and missing something that is condemned by the Jesus we follow and serve? 

Sure, Jesus didn't specifically name out mean tweets, because Twitter was not around then......but there is plenty in what He DID say that any Christian worth their salt should know that a mean tweet would not be missed or defended by Him. So why do so many Christians defend mean tweets and miss them. By their guy of course. Obama did a lot of mean tweets, but I am sure they don't miss his. :)

The answer is simple: Christians have become too political. We would never admit it or think it, but politics is more important than loving people, spreading the Gospel.....more important than the Gospel. I have said it before, but it almost seems too many Christians toss the Bible aside when it comes to politics, other than to pull out Bible verses they can use against people.

So, onto my blog post:

A note to begin:
  I will say to begin that I am far from being perfect. There is term I have not heard for a while that was popular years ago: it referred to people getting into Heaven by the skin of their teeth. That will be me. I am not and never will be a Paul, Peter, Abraham, Noah. Were I in the Bible, I would be one of those insignificant people not even named, but just referred to as someone's servant, or by my livelihood. I am just as guilty of the next person about not having the right attitudes when it comes to politics, but am trying to do better.

How political can and should Christians be?

This needs to be said. I feel very strongly about that. Am I the right person to say it? Most likely not. But if I don't, will anyone?

This is not a Trump post, though in part it will be, because Trump is a symptom of a bigger problem. And it was finally brought about after months of frustration about a post shared and liked by even people in my own church, and unchallenged by anyone else...including the preachers on my friends list:

“True Christians will vote for Donald Trump”, followed by lengthier comments. This should have bothered even the most devout Trump supporter who professes to follow Jesus Christ. You are either a Christian or not. There are not any “not true” Christians. You are either a true Christian, or you are not a Christian. I cannot find anything in the Bible to infer there are Christians who are not "true" Christians.

So by this statement, are these people and the ones agreeing, saying that you are not a Christian if you do not vote for Trump....or any candidate?


  Do Christians even in my own ultra conservative church believe that one's Christianity and salvation hinges on your vote for Trump....or any candidate? They may not say that, but their silence and “likes” and supporting comments say that loudly. And many other Christians did so, not just in my church. It is their posting and support of it that bothers me the most.


That and what I have especially seen in the last six years or so, has caused me to question some things:
What I believe

What my church believes

If Christianity is truly better than other religions. (Oh, I know Jesus is the only way, but politics raises the question if Christianity is actually better...and yes, I believe in my heart that it is better)

And on my worst days: if I really want to be a Christian, and if God even exists. (toss in severe depression, anxiety, and other issues....not just political stuff)


And other questions:
How political can and should Christians be:

And be like Jesus

Not hinder their witness and the cause of Christ and the church

And be salt and light

And be peacemakers

Live by and obey what the Bible and Jesus teach?

Love our neighbor as ourselves?



I am a conservative. Always have been, always will be.

I was raised in the church, attended a Christian school K-12, and 4 years of Bible College.

I listen primarily to Christian music and read primarily Christianity books.

Yet I have never felt I truly belonged in the church. Partly because of struggles and something I deal with that those raised in the church are afraid to admit or talk about. (Ironically, some of the same people defending a man's serial adultery and saying "don't judge!" are quite vocal against my struggle and show judgment and no love there)

But never have I felt that way more than the last 6 years. To be a Christian and conservative and not vote for or support Donald Trump.....it is not easy. The very same people who should understand support you for not going against your conscience......did the opposite. It is not easy trying to do what you believe is right while Christians in your own church are trying to guilt and manipulate you into doing what you believe is wrong. (And yes, for me to have voted for Trump would have been wrong and going against my conscience would have been wrong. But they did not care. The very Christians so obsessed with doing things the Bible does not spell out, fail miserably at doing what the Bible DOES spell out:

Loving people, being peacemakers, etc.




I am not going to share everything, but a few things:


In the last 6 years or so:

Even though I stated I felt as a Christian I should not vote for Trump, and was voting 3rd party: Christians said my vote was for Hillary if I voted third party. That if I did not support Trump, I was for Hillary. (I view those as outright lies, and kind of wish I had called those people out for lying)
I and others have been told not to judge Trump, while his supporters judge everyone who has a D by their name, or who have an R and do not support Trump

I and others have been labeled a Pharisee for taking issue with things in Trump, speaking up, and not voting for him because of certain things....while his supporters do the same with the other candidates.

We were told “Why not pray for him instead of criticizing him?, while they criticize away if they don't like the politician

We are told no matter how bad we think he is, God put him in there......but not hearing that about Biden.

A friend of mine said Christian Trump supporters don't care how they make you feel, as long as they defend him and shut you up....and sadly, that seems to be true for way too many people.


There are people in my church who have messaged me that they agree, but are afraid to speak up around others in my church and school. Really? Oh, I believe them....but what a sad statement....and I doubt the average Trump supporter would care.

I attend a very, very conservative church. The same people who are so worried about certain outward things that are not spelled out in black and white, go against what is spelled out in black and white....they have tried manipulating and intimidation to try to get other Christians to vote like they want them to. A person may not believe in watching movies and TV, but takes no thought or care in how they treat people and react to them if it involves politics or their candidate. (Guess true Christians can do anything non Biblical if it is for the cause of their politician.)


Politics, party, our rights...they take precedence over everything else. It is more important to spread our political opinions and win people to a politician, than it is to spread the Gospel and win people to Jesus.


Jesus was not political. He was all about loving people and all about His earthly ministry.

I am not saying Christians should not be political at all, nor vote....but shouldn't we be more like Jesus and avoid being very political? Shouldn't we be concerned about how we are acting when it comes to politics? Shouldn't we be different from the world even in how we act and react about politics? Shouldn't Christians be BETTTER than non Christians when it comes to politics? Jesus avoided politic. He was too busy loving people and doing good.


Things have changed.......

Things have changed since Biden took office. It is now OK to judge away and criticize. I believe he is a horrible president, but have been shocked at what so many Christians say about him and how easily they make fun of him, call him a pedophile, etc.

I will be clear on this: I believe the Democratic Party is evil. They push the murder of babies, the sexualizing and exploitation of kids, and other evil things. (Hmm, then why did Trump support them so long? Had to say it!) I believe any politician is evil who supports and pushes for the cruel murder of babies in the womb.

But does that mean they are the exception to what the Bible says about how we are to treat others?


I firmly believe Nancy Pelosi is evil to the core, and is the worst politician our country has ever had. I saw a lot of  Christians laughing about the attack on  her husband a while back...but is that right to do? Would they have laughed if it had been on a Trump, or a person important to them?


Is there really a separate set of guidelines in the Bible for how we act towards people with a D by their name, and towards Donald Trump? (Even Republicans who do not support Trump are fair game, so I did not ask about a separate set of guidelines and rules for Democrats and Republicans). 

Oh, in case you don't know the answer: There is NOT a separate set of rules and guidelines.


I am guilty. Believe it or not, I said much more about and was much harder on Obama than Trump. I heavily criticized both men and Biden, but how much was right and wrong? ( I know what Trump supporters would say regarding him..... :) )


Here is the thing: Christians are not called to be political. We are not called to vote. We are not called to change people's opinions on candidates. 


We are called to be kind, to love, to have the fruits of the spirit, to win people to Jesus......and so much more that being very political hinders or makes impossible.

When we get to Heaven, Jesus is not going to reward us for how many people we won to our politics or politicians. What will matter is how many we won to Him.



Damage from being political

Picture this: 

“Mary” freely accuses Joe Biden of being a pedophile, and mocks him all the time on and off of social media. Makes fun of Mr. Pelosi being attacked.

“Martha” is her neighbor and follows her on Facebook. Martha is a Democrat and voted for and supports Biden. What are the chances of Mary getting Martha to go to church or win her to Jesus? You know the answer. Zilch.

There is a preacher who did a post on Facebook comparing Donald Trump to Sampson, and was using it to try to get Christians who were against Trump to vote for him. He further stated that a third party vote is a wasted vote. Several of my Facebook friends shared it, and one was even so kind to tag me. I was disgusted. Here was a minister of the Gospel trying to get Christians to vote how they felt they should not. A year or two later, my church got him for revival services. I kept seeing that post, and determined I was not going to sit under his preaching. And did not. He has been there at least another time, and I have no intentions of ever listening to him. Maybe that is wrong, but not as wrong as him using his position to do what he did.

I have been hurt, deeply hurt in these last 6 years by pro-Trump Christians. Sure, had I been silent, it may have been different....but part of me questions if they can be vocal, why can't I? - but if I, a guy raise in the church, and attended Christian school, Bible college - have been damaged by politicial Christians and it has caused me to question so much.......then what affect does it have on those who are not Christians, and have not been raised in the church?


It is easy to say a Christian is doing damage to Christianity, the Church, and the cause of Jesus if they have differing political views than you do....and if they criticize your guy.


  But the truth of the matter is, no matter your political views, you and I are doing severe damage by being very political. Whether you support or don't support Trump, whether you do or don't support Biden, whether you are conservative, liberal, libertarian, Republican, Democrat, third party, or no party.....our loud political views and attacks on politicians – and yes, over the top support in some cases - is doing so much more damage than good.


“True Christians” realize how close we are getting to the end. Instead of screaming how great or bad a politician is, and instead of using social media to spread their politics, they should be screaming that God loves everyone – even Biden and Pelosi – that Christianity is the best and only option. That Jesus is the answer, not politicians or politics.


There was a  wonderful lady I had the pleasure of being friends with on Facebook, and was blessed to eat and visit at her place once. She died from cancer last year. Avis was not political, ever...with the exception of once. A certain former president said something so arrogant that pretty much made him equal to Jesus, that she called him out. But other than that, she was all about spreading hope, encouragement, and love. She used her life on – and off – of social media for good.


And there are others. Not everyone is politically outspoken on and off of social media.


I do believe in voting for politicians who above all are against killing babies in the womb and want to stop that horrible atrocity. That is my main thing when it comes to voting, though there are others. I believe one should vote for who they feel God wants them to. I am not saying that is not important.


But Christians have made it too important. They view politics and politicians as the answer, when they are not.


I believe part of the problem is we have become obsessed with our rights and freedoms to the point that they and party have eclipsed God, dying to ourselves, and so much else that should be our primary focus.


Not that rights and freedoms don't matter. But it seems it has caused so many of us to lose our way. The devil can use anything to sidetrack Christians and cause them to fall away from what they should be. It isn't always the big things the Bible warns against like adultery and stealing. I believe politics has become one of Satan's best and most useful and powerful tools to divide Christians and the church, and to take attention from what truly matters.


Imagine if all the social media posts and fervor of the last 6 years – and more – about politics had been put towards things of God and the church? What a difference could have been made.

I have gotten a lot of crap over the last six years or so because I did not vote for the man so many others did, and that I have dared criticize him. I have found myself wondering how Christians can be so pro-Trump, and defend or ignore everything he does, such as gun control and vulgarity. I will never understand that. But the bigger picture and issue has been the focus of this blog post: how Christians can basically set aside what the Bible says about how we are to act, and then say things and treat people in ways that are damaging to the cause of Christ.

Our political posts on social media are never going to change anyone's minds. But they may change how they view God, Christianity, and the church. We will never win anyone to God with a religion of politics, but with one of love. And love is missing in our political posts. 

I don't know where the line is. We should not be silent about concerns, but wherever the line is, many of us are so far over it we can't even see it. And sadly, people don't consider it, nor care what their political posts might do.

And there are Christians who are never political on social media, as I previously mentioned. I believe they are closer to being what God wants than we who are political. People don't need to hear our political opinions and bashing or defending politicians. They need to hear about Jesus, and that they are loved. No matter who they do or not vote for.

I don't want a political Christianity. I don't need a political Christianity. Nor does the world.

And lastly, I truly am bothered and concerned. I think being on the opposite side of so many Christians, and getting what I got so much of opened my eyes. I hope this post isn't offensive, and does what I intended it to do: make people think, and maybe wake some others up.

What the World Needs to Hear by the Booth Brothers.
(Video at end of lyrics)


There's a teenage mother who's left all alone

Waiting for someone already long gone

There's a lonely old man whose children don't care

And a black sheep that's knocking, but nobody's there.


What the world needs to hear is John 3:16

That God loves them just as they are

His grace is sufficient to bring them to Him

Wherever they've been, no matter how far

There's hope for the lost and the helpless

Faith will replace every fear

The Gospel of Calvary

That's what the world needs to hear


To the sinner who thinks he's too bad to save

To the dad who just put his young son in the grave

To the man with the bottle who can't let it go

To the wife of a soldier who will never come home


What the world needs to hear is John 3:16

That God loves them just as they are

His grace is sufficient to bring them to Him

Wherever they've been, no matter how far

There's hope for the lost and the helpless

Faith will replace every fear

The Gospel of Calvary

That's what the world needs to hear


Salvation's story of Christ

Is the solution for all

Whoever you are

He'll hear you when you call


There's hope for the lost and the helpless

Faith will replace every fear

The Gospel of Calvary

That's what the world needs to hear


Tuesday, December 21, 2021

A Christmas to remember





   Christmas 2021, my 53rd Christmas. No, I am not 53......my first Christmas I was 7 months old. I obviously don't remember that Christmas so long ago, but there are some that stick out to me.

Christmas 1981

  Christmas 1981, the most memorable Christmas of my 52 years. In January of that year, our house had burnt to the ground leaving us with only the clothes we were wearing on our backs, 2 cars, and anything we had in the barn and garage. We lived with my paternal grandmother from January 21 of that year til August, when we finally had enough to start out again, something my parents never thought they would have to do a second time.

  That Christmas of 81 was our first Christmas in our new home. My parents always gave my sisters and I a nice Christmas, and spent far more on us than they should have. But that Christmas, it seemed they went all out. Ever since January, we had been given tons of clothing and toys, most of it used. But now we had a ton of brand new gifts in our new home. I think that was the year we all got new bicycles. I can't remember anything else we got, but that Christmas stands out among the many I have celebrated so far.


Christmas 1995

  Christmas 1995. Confession: One of my deepest longings was to be a dad, and it is one of my greatest regrets I was never able to have kid so of my own. However, one of the greatest joys of my life is being an uncle to 6 of the greatest kids I know. They will never know how much I love them, and how much better my life has been because they are in it, and are such a big part of my life. 

  When my sister Vicki announced she was pregnant in 1995, I was over the moon excited about becoming an uncle. I had always wanted a brother, and never got one, so now I set my hopes on having a nephew. I even announced if it was a girl, I was not going to have anything to do with her. Stephanie Marie Giles, now Sanders as of June of this year, was born October 25, 1995.....and everything I said about not wanting a niece went out the window. That Christmas was more special than previous ones because we had a new little baby in the family, and I went all out buying gifts for this adorable little person who had grabbed my heart from day 1. Two more girls followed, and I finally got my nephews after my other sister got married, but by that time I loved all of them equally.


  This may be a morbid thought, but for the last several Christmases, I have looked around and had the thought that this might be the last Christmas all of us are there. That day will come at some point. No one lives forever. Every year, there are families who have a loved one with them for the last Christmas. Sometimes they know it is happening if the person is gravely ill, but most of the time we have no idea someone we love will not be here for the next Christmas.

  That has happened this year. Covid has taken some people I know, and their families are going to have a giant hole in their Christmas celebrations this year. Christmas for so many is all about family and revolves around Christmas, so Christmas will never be the same again for so many. Loss is felt especially during holidays. That person you loved so much isn't there to buy gifts for anymore, nor will there be gifts from them to you under the tree.

  We should make every Christmas a Christmas to remember. It doesn't have to be all about the amount of gifts. I love giving. Every year, my mom talks about how we need to cut back and scolds us for spending so much on her and Dad, but I love buying for my family. I don't have a wife and kids to buy for, but I do have my parents, siblings, their husbands, and nieces and nephews to buy for. I had the thought that I wouldn't want to cut way back, and then lose one of them after the Christmas I cut back on buying. Yeah, another morbid thought.


  Gifts are great. I love to give and receive too....might as well be honest.......but I do enjoy watching family open what I got them. Our family is big into gag gifts, or white elephant gifts as some call  them. I may have started it. Ok, I did start it....and I usually buy the most and get the most. And this year, I got a couple of great ones. :) They are fun, and are usually something really cheap picked up at a used store or after holiday clearance. There are some that make a yearly appearance, as they get re-gifted. It has become a fun part of our family Christmas. We have had a lot of laughs when gag gifts are opened. We take turns opening gifts, so everyone gets to see what everyone got.

   Christmas is a time when families should come together and put aside differences, and just love each other and spend time enjoying each other and having fun.

A boy named Alex

 I read something last week that made me feel sad. In one of the many book groups I am in on Facebook, a lady was looking for book ideas for a young man she knows that he might enjoy and that would cheer him up. He came out as gay to his conservative.....and I assume Christian family on Thanksgiving Day. They kicked him out of the house and family, and told him they never want to see him again. He does have his own apartment, but now he has no family for Christmas because his family couldn't love him enough to love him for being something they don't agree with and they believe is wrong.

  Side note:  I don't care how you feel about anything gay, if a family.....if a Christian....cannot love someone who is gay and treat them like they are still part of the family, if Christians cannot love gay people and treat them as anyone else, then that Christianity is not at all like Jesus. Should the kid have come out? Should he have done it at a holiday? To the latter, their reactions would have been the same no matter when. I can say personally it is no fun to bottle it up inside and keep it secret that you are attracted to the same sex...so whether or not a person is going to "live the gay lifestyle", or just admit they are attracted to the same sex, I can totally understand it and can totally relate.

  But come on......that poor kid is going to have a horrible Christmas. The very people who should love him unconditionally, failed at that. No matter their feelings on him being gay, or how he will live, they should love him and welcome him in their homes and lives as they always did.

  That is a drastic example, but people so easily hold onto things and let it divide each other. It shouldn't be exclusive to Christmas, but what better time to love each other, forgive, drop grudges, and do all you can to make Christmas special, and make it one to remember?

 Me? I will do my part and not speak out about Trump at family gatherings, since I am the only one who despises him and his presidency. :)



  But seriously, Christmas is such a special time of year. Yes, it is too commercialized, and we can get lost in all the hustle and bustle of the holiday. We stress about making sure we buy the right things, that we don't miss anyone, that we buy for everyone who buys for us. Maybe we do need to simplify things and just relax and enjoy family. We need too focus more on the reason for the holiday.

  I'll be bluntly honest, as I tend to do a lot. Maybe too much. Christmas can be tough at times for me. I have no one special of my own, I have no kids...and so much about Christmas is about romance and family. Merry Christmas, Darling indeed. Though I do like that song. :) It can get lonely. I have spent a lot of days off staying home, reading, having Christmas music playing wall to wall, watching Christmas movies. I have found myself wishing more than once that there was someone here to watch those Christmas movies with, to eat supper with...but it is just me. (Then at other times I am glad I can avoid peopling. Work does really get to me).



  Our Christmas this year is going to be a little different. We have always all gone to my parents for Christmas day for gifts, games, eating, and a lot of fun. This year, we have to do the gift opening Christmas Eve, and most of the family will be back Christmas Day for games and eating. A lot of eating, a lot of snacking: my mom's Christmas cookies, her fudge, her Chex mix..... And I plan to beat everyone in every game we play. I can dream....

  It will be one of the best days of my year. The people I love most in the world, games, gifts, and a lot of fun and laughter. We do laugh a lot. Mostly because of my jokes. (Kidding, they all just groan). No matter what we do or where we are, we have a lot of fun together and get along great, thank God.

  So this Christmas, love your family while you still have them. Hold them close, forgive and let go what you need to let go. Make it a special Christmas to remember, so that when you do have a Christmas with an empty spot, you can look back fondly and know that your last Christmas with that person was a special one to remember, and one with no regrets.

  And at some point in your holiday celebrations, pray for a young man named Alex whose family won't be there for him this Christmas, and won't welcome him into their Christmas celebration.

  

Friday, October 22, 2021

What if Trump wasn't the lesser of two evils



*Yes, another blog post about Donald Trump, but it has been a while.
** I often let my frustrations come out in ways they should not, so I am not guiltless.

    I don't believe there has been a more polarizing politician in America than Donald Trump. There are so many reasons the party of Christians and conservatives should never have picked him for the GOP nominee, and I still don't understand why he is so loved by conservatives......and especially by Christians.

  For as long as I can remember, morals have been a big deal with what has been called "the religious right." All these years later, they still hold Bill Clinton's sexual acts against him. Gary Hart, and others have come under fire over the years for their immoral acts.



 Then along comes Donald Trump: serial adulterer who supposedly bragged about his cheating, strip clubs in his casinos, vulgar, on tape bragging about sexually assaulting women (If you honestly don't believe what he bragged about is not sexual assault, I challenge you to try that with some random woman and see what happens....or what you would call it if it happened to you or a women you love.....)

  This same man gave money to Democrats for years and supported them as they fought conservativism and Christianity. He gave to the Clintons, said she would make a great president, and trashed Bill's accusers.....and even said Hillary did a great job handling Benghazi. He also fought the tea party and gave money to Kamala Harris' senatorial campaign.




 How this man won the conservative vote is something I will never understand. And even worse, how he won the Christian vote. And I get voting for him to stop Hillary, even though I couldn't.....but I don't get the over the top support and defense.

 When he was running against his buddy Hillary, a common quote was that he was the lesser of two evils. 

 But was he? Oh, I have been anti-Hillary since the start....while Trump was in bed with the Clintons and saying she would make a great president. I do believe she would have been a worse president politically.

 However, I have come to believe Trump is the worse of two evils in what really matters.

   After Trump won the nomination and had his last minute miraculous conversion to Christianity - come on, you know it would have been scoffed at if he had had a D by his name - suddenly he was loved by Christians, even those who had previously opposed him. \

 I did research, and prayed about it....and felt I could not as a Christian vote for him. You would think this great family of God would understand that....after all Christians have been ridiculed and fought about their beliefs for years....so a Christian should understand feeling a person could not vote for Trump.

 Wrong. Very wrong. Don't go against your conscience...except in politics.
  
  Despite all the Bible says about how to treat people: Love your enemies, be tenderhearted forgiving each other, love your neighbor as yourself.......and many other verses - I had way too many Christians toss that all out as I was verbally attacked for daring to not vote for him and instead vote third party. Honesty, kindness, love.....politics and Trump are more important than those, and everything else the Bible says.

I was told I was for Hillary if I wasn't for Trump. Ironic, when he actually WAS a Hillary supporter.

I was told my vote for a third party candidate was a vote for Hillary.

A long time "friend" said if I wasn't for Trump, I was for Hillary and for killing babies.

I was told if I wasn't on Trump's side, I was not on God's side.

Christians shared a post saying true Christians would vote for Trump.

Christians who dared oppose Trump were called hypocrites, judgmental, Pharisees, etc. (Yet you don't hear those when you oppose Hillary, Obama, and Biden).

  If we are truly living by Jesus' teaching, if we are trying to be like Jesus.....would Christians be saying these things to other Christians? Would defending Trump and trying to win political arguments be more important than how we make people feel?

 WWJD became a worn out phrase, but it does have a point. When it comes to politics, what would Jesus do? Would He say these things? I cannot imagine He would.

  I have friends from my own church who are anti-Trump and are silent about it....because of how other Christians treated them and reacted when they did speak up. Is that really how it should be among followers of Jesus?

 A Facebook friend of mine lived the gay lifestyle for several years, became a Christian and left that life, and is now married to a woman.....author and pastor John Piper's daughter. He of course got a lot of backlash and hate for that from the pro-gay crowd when he became a Christian and started speaking out against his former lifestyle.......but last year he did a couple posts critical of Trump. He said he got far more hateful comments from Christian Trump supporters than he ever got from the pro-gay crowd. He eventually took all of those posts down. That should bother Christian Trump supporters....but I doubt the average Trump supporter will be bothered by that.



  Speaking of things that should bother Christians, I have said it before on here: A friend of mine has 2 atheist friends who were disgusted by the Christian support of Trump, and said they never wanted to hear Christians talk about morals after the 2016 election. Seriously, what is the world thinking as Christians who rant against all things gay and other moral issues then defend Trump's adultery and other moral issues, and attack everyone who dares criticize him? I myself want to hear nothing from Trump supporting Christians about anything gay after these last 5 years. You cannot ignore and/or defend his moral atrocities and them rant about gay things.

  Trump has divided Christians and conservatives, and brings out the worse in too many people.....his supporters, Democrats, and conservatives who oppose him. I admit I have some major anger issues because of so many Christian Trump supporters, and have given back as good as I have gotten. So much for blessed are the peacemakers....you cannot be very political and be a peacemaker. And how much of a Trump supporter can a Christian be and be a peacemaker?

  Then there is the dishonesty. Well, some of what I posted above what people said are not honest. Those people knew I was not for Hillary. I have seen way too many social media posts from Trump supporters that are not true. Shouldn't Christians strive to be 100% honest? Yet there are posts saying he gave up his wealth to be president......he was always a billionaire, so false. A preacher from my denomination posted that the Obamas didn't allow Christmas to be celebrated in the White House, but now Trump does...yet there is no evidence that as bad as Obama was, that he didn't allow Christmas in the White House. And there were other posts and stories that were shared to make Trump look good whether or not they were true.

 And the exaggerations......the most pro-life president, the most Christian.......and on. He did nothing to deserve those accolades. Shouldn't honesty matter more?



  Double standard:
    For 5 years, I was told not to judge Trump, that instead of criticizing him I should pray for him, etc....yet now a man is president that they oppose also, it is OK to judge away, and there are no posts about praying for him instead of criticizing him. It is even OK to mock and make fun of Biden and accuse him of being a pedophile, with no proof. (And yeah, he is a horrible president and does not seem capable to be president). Should Christians act that way? Especially after 5 years of basically saying "Since I support this man, you must also and not say anything bad about him." It seems I am only allowed to criticize presidents that Trump supporters criticize.

  I had this thought: if Trump supporters act this way about Biden and have Biden supporting friends, how on earth would they ever win them to Jesus? 

 I had a man at my church I used to highly respect...until he barraged me with texts trying to get me to vote for Trump. At one point he said if I just admitted I was for Hillary, he would leave me alone.....yet he knew I was not for Hillary. He asked me a question (I cannot remember what it was) and I replied "Are you asking me as a Republican, or as a Christian?" He asked "Can't it be both?"

  And therein lies a lot of the problem: we react too much first as Americans, Constitution loving conservatives, Republicans, Trump supporters....instead of reacting as a Christian first.

 Example: is telling me true Christians will vote for Trump a reaction of a Christian, or as a Republican/Trump supporter? That should not be a Christian response. #1 there is no Biblical basis for it. #2 it is not kind....that person doesn't care how he makes me feel. He just wants to talk or guilt people into voting how he wants them to.




  I have found myself wondering if a lot of Christians have more faith in Trump than Jesus. Over and over we heard that Trump was what would save America, that he was all that stood between us and socialism, on and on, and on. Trump, Trump, Trump. Some Christians posted so much pro Trump stuff, and it was hard to find anything about Jesus among all of  those. I got the idea that their faith and confidence was more in him than Jesus.

 What about this man has such over the top loyalty of so many Christians that they refuse to speak out against his gun control, paying off of a prostitute, giving more money to planned parenthood than Obama did, and many other bad actions and policies?

 So yes, I do believe Trump was the lesser of two evils:

1) He has divided Christians

2) As a result of his wining, he has caused many to be dishonest and unkind

3) He has taken the focus off of Jesus for too many

4) He has helped make or magnify the double standard in Christians and conservatives in the Republican party.

5) Too many Christians care more about defending him and shutting down opposition than how they make those feel they try to shut down.

      Maybe Trump is just a symptom. I am all for patriotism, freedoms, the Constitution, our flag, and our country...and Christians can love all that....but I fear all of that has become too important and we let our politics influence and affect our Christianity instead of the other way around.

 People are more important than politics. Loving people is more important than winning political arguments. Spreading the Gospel and winning people to Christ are more important than spreading our political opinions and wining people to our politician.

 I am rather outspoken, but am still very insecure and vulnerable as I was years ago when being bullied. Now I fight back, but it has still been hard being anti Trump among all the pro-Trump Christians. Too many don't care how they make me feel as they have attacked me trying to get me to vote for him or for daring to speak out against him. There are people who don't think I should criticize him or "judge" him, yet they say what they want about Democrats. Being constantly pushed down and basically being told your opinions should not be voiced because they are not those of your family and friends.....it is not a good feeling. Honestly, as much as I dislike Trump just for him, the majority of my feelings about him is because of what I have dealt with from his supporters and because of their refusal to ever hold him accountable.




  It has all shaken my faith. I go to a very conservative church, and I have people who keep all the rules, yet some of them have said things that are dishonest and/or unkind in their defense of Trump, and in their attempts to get me to vote for him and to shut down my criticisms of him. And I doubt they would even realize the irony of keeping the rules and not loving like Jesus.

 And it has caused me to feel even more isolated. I have felt disconnected from my church for a long time, and struggle to feel I belong anywhere. Being anti Trump has made that worse surrounded by pro-Trump people, especially when family and others expect me to keep my opinions to myself about Trump. I would honestly prefer to stay home. Granted, there are others like me who are afraid to speak out against Trump because of how they get treated, but I still feel alone and isolated. 

 I also have a lot of bottled up anger over the last 5 years. I honestly have held back a lot. If I said everything I think and feel, the secret service or FBI would probably have shown up by now.



 Just how political can we be and live as Jesus commands? Just how pro-Trump can a Christian be and live like Jesus to those who do not support him or vote for him? Jesus was not political, so how political should we be?

 The Bible says nothing about voting or being political, but it does say a lot about how we should act and how we should treat people. 

 Considering what Trump has caused, I believe we would have been better off as Christians and as the church to have lost soundly to Hillary. If Christians can't love, if they more or less toss out what the Bible says when it comes to politics, wouldn't we be better off under socialism and communism?

 And no, I don't want that....but if it affects how we treat people, if winning people to our politician or views is more important than spreading the Gospel and winning people to Christ, then yes......we would be better off living in persecution.



  Patriotism is good. Freedoms are important, but people are more important. A hundred years from now it will not matter if we won a political argument or defended a politician. It will matter how we treated people and if we won people to Christ.

 We are not living for this world. It is past time Christians remembered that and started living like that.

 Maybe Trump is just a symptom, and has made it more obvious. Maybe part of it is social media and people saying on line what they would not off line.......but to use a phrase of some Trump supporters, true Christians should be bothered by how politics and Trump has affected how we treat people who disagree with us.


  In closing, I will say this: I have never been a great Christian. I have struggles of faith, depression, anxiety, sexual identity, and struggle with doubt a lot. I don't believe I was a better than anyone for voting my conscience. And to be honest, I have found myself wondering a lot over the last 5 years if I even want to be a Christian. Shouldn't it be more than this politicized Christianity that has taken over?

  And again, I am not guiltless. But shouldn't I have the same freedom as Trump supporters to criticize politicians I disagree with?

Friday, September 24, 2021

Dogs, Diane, and Good Samaritans on motorcycles

     There was a day I blogged several times a month. Since my depression worsened, I just don't feel like doing it, so this is only my 5th post this year. 




 



    Diane and her dog

    I moved into the duplex I live in two years ago last month. It is a small town, and I live two blocks off the main street of town - well, I live on West Main Street, but I refer to the street where most of the stores are as the main street.

  One thing I love about living where I am, is that I can walk to so many places in town. There was often a woman walking her dog, or actually standing on the next block smoking and holding him on his leash. I would always speak, ignoring the dog. Disclaimer: I really, really dislike dogs....and I really find it nauseating when people refer to themselves as "mommy and daddy" and act like their dog is a human. Disclaimer two: I really, really hate cigarettes.

  I finally found out this lady lives three houses down from me, and this year in my walking past found her name is Diane and she is 70.

   Ass I have walked past, Diane has often been sitting on her porch. I stop and chat. I found out that her son, his wife, and their little girl live in the house beside her towards my place. I found out that Diane is lonely, and pretty much only has the lady beside me, Candy, as her friend.

  And I found out why I never saw her walking the dog anymore. The 14 year old dog was not doing well.

  I hadn't talked to her for a while, and she and her husband were sitting on their porch when I walked to town last week, so I stopped and chatted with them for at least 20 minutes. I asked about the dog, and she said she had to have it put down in July, and that they called on her birthday to tell her she could pick up the ashes. My immediate thought was how weird it is to cremate an animal, but I said some sympathetic words and asked if she thought she would get another dog....she won't. I suggested a cat, and that is definitely not happening.

  I was off today, and decided to walk to town. When I stepped outside, my neighbors beside me were outside, and I chatted with them for 10-15 minutes. The lady, Candy, was saying she had her windows up the other day and whatever I was cooking smelled really good. I guessed it was my beef vegetable soup. After chatting, I headed to town just as Diane came out, sat on her porch swing, and lit up. I stopped to chat with her for a few minutes.

 During the course of our conversation, she said "Candy was telling me she smelled something really good you were cooking the other day." I replied that it was probably my beef vegetable soup." "No, I think it was the day you were making lasagna." I was totally amused that these two ladies were discussing my cooking. 😀😀




The Good Samaritan on the motorcycle

  I have needed new back tires on my car for a while. I got the oil changed right before my Kentucky trip last month at the tire place conveniently two blocks away, and the one guy told me I needed new ones when I picked the car up.

  I was on my way home from work last a couple of weeks ago, and thought something felt weird as I was driving. I was cruising on the four lane when it showed I had 17 pounds of air in my right back tire. I was about 1/4 a mile from an intersection where there was a big pull off graveled place, and decided to try to make it there instead of changing the tire beside the road.

 Disclaimer three: I CAN change a tire, and have before.

 I pulled off, muttering the whole time, and got the "donut" tire and jack out of the trunk. It had obviously never been used - the tire and the jack. I got the hubcap off, loosened the lug nuts, and jacked up the car. Then I tried to get the tire off, and had no luck. Several cars had driven by the road that crossed the 4 lane that I was beside. I saw a young guy on a motorcycle drive by, then swing back and pull in.

 Disclaimer four: I hate motorcycles, believe motorcycle laws are way too lax, think you have to be half nuts to ride one, and totally insane to go helmetless.

  He turned his bike off, and asked if I needed help. I told him I couldn't get the tire off, and he said with steel on steel it can be difficult, and you need to kick it. So, I kicked it. Nada. (I think that means nothing in Spanish). He said he would get under the car and kick it. He laid down, got under the car, and kicked the tire. It came loose, and to my horror the jack also did, and the car fell. I had a brief moment of panic wondering how fast I could get the car jacked up again if he was pinned. Thankfully, he wasn't. 

 He said he was fine, and never got under anything that he wasn't sure there was plenty of room if something like that happened. He got out, and proceeded to change my tire the rest of the way. He asked me at one point if anyone else had stopped to see if I was OK and needed help, and was amazed when I said no. I asked him if I could give him anything for his trouble, and he said no and told me to keep safe. I shook his hand, and he was off on what I consider to be a very unsafe vehicle. Without a helmet, of course. 




  How often do we steer clear of people who are different than us, who may do things we dislike, live a lifestyle we disagree with, who don't fit into our neat little mold of what we consider good people and someone we would want to be around?

  I have worked at the hospital as the ER greeter for over three years, and in the main lobby almost five years. I have seen and dealt with all kinds of people, and people of all nationalities and walks of life. Drug addicts have come in to register in the ER. I have had people curse me out and tell me to go to hell. I have had people rant to me about people not wearing masks and not getting the vaccine, and have had people rant to me about having to wear the masks and how bad the vaccine is. 

  I have had Trump supporters go on about how bad the Democrats and Biden are, and have had Democrats and the occasional conservative go on about how bad Trump is. As part of my job, I have to treat people with courtesy no matter who they are or how they act....but shouldn't we all do that all of the time?

  One of my favorite authors, and one of the few I have met, Kimberly Woodhouse, posted this a few days ago: 

"Take a moment and be honest. 

If you get riled up and post about politics, masks, the pandemic, vaccines, your rights, etc, and you are a believer in Jesus - let me ask you this:

Do you spend as much time sharing His love and the Gospel as you do speaking out about whichever “side” you are on?"

 I shared it, and said "Touche' post". Only two people "liked it": my best friend, and my author friend who had posted it. Maybe everyone else felt guilty. I did, but I still shared it. 😄😎

  Jesus was asked by the religious leaders in an attempt to trap him "What is the greatest commandment?"

 His reply is one any Christian should know by heart:


Jesus answered, “The most important is, ‘Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.” Matthew 12:29-31. ESV

  How well do Christians in America....in the Republican Party...do with the loving their neighbor?

  Would they stop to help someone by the road who had a Biden/Harris bumper sticker on their car, or drive by? Would they stop to help someone who had a "Proud to be gay" bumper sticker on their bumper? Would they be friendly with neighbors who were on the other side of the political aisle? Gay neighbors? Muslim neighbors....

  There is nothing special about helping those like us. There is no "being like Jesus moment" to befriend those who agree with us politically.

  Jesus loved his enemies and did good to those who did Him wrong. If He had Facebook, He wouldn't unfriend or block someone for dissing His politician. He would stop by the road to help anyone, befriend anyone.


 The whole message of the Good Samaritan Story was not about a guy who stopped to help someone like him who was a great friend. It is about a guy who stopped to help someone who was the enemy. 

 Oh, and both of those neighbors I mentioned.......they are conservative as I am, but are Trump supporters, which I am definitely not. 😜