Thoughts of a messed up Christian saved by God's grace

Sunday, March 18, 2018

Questions for Calvinists

 I have debated about doing this post. It may offend Calvinists who read it, but I have a couple of thoughts on that:

#1. I am very offended by the portrayal of God by the TULIP Calvinists, more than they would be by my questions.

#2. If Calvinists can't handle honest questions about what they believe and why, then maybe they need to examine why they feel so defensive.

#3. These are meant to be questions, and not an attack on Calvinists. These are honest questions I'd like a Calvinist to answer without giving canned answers.

#4. I see a lot of posts by Calvinists mocking we who don't believe as they do, and posts pointing out how wrong we are on their favorite TULIP points.

  Only in recent years have I run across TULIP Calvinists. I had previously run across those who believe once saved, always saved. I have issues with that belief, but this post is not to point out why I believe that. And to be honest, I am not extremely offended by that belief. I can see why it is attractive and why one would want to believe that. It is some of the other points of Calvinism that I find offensive, and ask myself why on earth......

 And to be blunt: I find Calvinism and their views of God extremely wrong and offensive. That doesn't mean I have no respect for people who are Calvinists. I do, especially the ones who don't make their entire existence as a Christian to be all about Calvinism, and who do not constantly bring their Calvinist beliefs up.

 A few years ago, a man in one of the groups I am in for same-sex attractions added me on Facebook. He was what I'd call a hyper Calvinist, constantly putting down any non-Calvinists, and posting very offensive stuff. I told him a few times how offensive he was, but he kept it up.. so I blocked him. Recently, he made a new account and sent me a friend request. As I debated, he messaged me and assured me he had changed and was not the arrogant hyper Calvinist he had been... so I added him. Mistake. He had not changed, and was soon back to his bashing and offensive posts.... so he is gone again.

 Not all Calvinists are like him. I have many Calvinist friends who never post anything about predestination and election, and never post jokes about non Calvinists. Those are the people I don't want to offend.....and this post is meant to ask questions. I am weary enough of  the Calvinist posts, that I am finally posting it after holding it for a few months.

 Anyway, on to my questions:

1) Why do you so staunchly and vehemently defend your belief in no free will, and predestination? Do you not realize it makes God look bad?

2) If God picks and chooses who He will offer salvation to, and who He will send to hell with no chance at redemption, then why witness or preach to people? You are wasting your time if the person is not one of  the elect.

3) If we have no free will and we will become a Christian if God wants us to be one, again why bother with preaching, evangelizing, and witnessing?

4) If God sends people to hell because He picked them out ahead of time to burn for all eternity, how can He judge those people for their sins and be a just God?

5) How can you tell someone God loves them? If they are not one of the elect, God does not love them.

6) If God is love, how can He pick so many people He is going to send to hell and not offer them salvation?

7) The Bible says that it is not God's will that any should perish, but that all would come to repentance. In light of that verse, how can you say it is God's will that many will go to hell without a chance at being saved?

8) Do you not realize what kind of God you are portraying to the world? In blunt terms, you teach and preach a God who picks people out ahead of time to toss into hell and never give them a chance to serve Him. You portray a God who forces people to be Christians who He has picked to be Christians. If a parent decided to just love some of their kids and provide for only some, we would have strong language for what kind of parents they were.....yet your portrayal of God is even worse than that.

9) Which God would you rather serve and tell people about: A God who loves everyone and who will save anyone, or a God who picks and chooses who He will save and who He will not, and forces people to serve Him?

10) If we have no free will, then why did Jesus say "Behold I stand at the door and knock......"?

11) How do you deal with this verse: "1 Tim 4:10 For therefore we both labour and suffer reproach, because we trust in the living God, who is the Saviour of all men, specially of those that believe."

12) Why are so many Calvinists so mean? Use Google images and Google Calvinism and Calvinism vs Armenian......there are some very hateful memes mocking we who are not Calvinists. And Google "why are Calvinists.... and check out the suggestions. They aren't nice suggestions.......

13) Is there any pride and arrogance is declaring you are one of the elect? If not, then why do so many of you bring it up so often?

14) What if a person wants to be a Christian and is not one of the chosen? How would you address that? (I have heard the argument that if a person is not the elect, he would have no desire to be a Christian, but that is a canned answer that cannot be proven).

15) How would you feel about God and election if your children were not of the elect?

16) If we are once saved always saved, why does the devil fight us so hard?

17) If we are once saved always saved, why fight temptation so hard.....why not just give in?

18) If God so loved the world that He sent His only Son to die, then how could that same God be so partial and vindictive with His love?

19) What happens to babies who are not the elect and die before birth or in infancy? Does God send babies to hell? And if so, how can you serve a God like that?

20) If God is so totally sovereign that He is in charge of everything we do, then does He make us sin when we sin? Example: Pastor-author John Piper believes if you are playing Scrabble, God causes you to pick the letters you pick. If that is the case, then wouldn't you have to believe that God directs us to commit every sinful act committed?

21) If we have no free will, and God basically forces us to be Christians, then are we not puppets and robots? Is not God just an evil puppet-master?

22) Are you trying to win disciples to John Calvin, or to Jesus? Are you preaching Calvin, or Jesus?

23) What reason is there to do posts mocking Arminians? Is that Christian? Is that loving? Is that "living peaceably with all men?" Do we make you insecure in your beliefs, so you must mock us to feel superior to us?

24) Why must so many of you constantly point out how wrong you think we are on free will and God offering salvation to all? If you are trying to win the lost, then why focus on and broadcast so often the fact that God does not offer salvation to all, and that you really don't have a choice in whether you serve God or not......how is that spreading the good news?

25) If we truly all sin daily, then why not give into temptation? Why shouldn't I be a gay Christian? If you have your sins that you commit daily and can be a Christian, then why can't I do the sin that tempts me daily?

26) Jesus compares God to a Father and says if a father knows how to give good gifts to His children, how much more does your Heavenly Father know how.....and yet you claim that same Heavenly Father sends people to hell without offering salvation, and judges them for sins they had no chance to repent of......how does that fit in with what Jesus said? It would appear the God you preach is worse than many earthly fathers.

27) What if you're wrong?

28) Why do you focus so much on God's sovereignty over His love? God's love is seen all through the Bible. A God who loves so much that He sent His Son to be one of us, to die at the hands of me, so that whosoever believes  can have eternal life. And you step on top of that to declare God is sovereign and can thus offer salvation to some, and not offer salvation to others......seriously. Why? God IS love, and a God who IS love cannot be the God you claim He is.

29) How does it glorify God or His Kingdom to be constantly pointing out that you believe God picks and chooses who He will save and who He will not?

30) If salvation is a gift, then why does God supposedly give no choice in who receives it or refuses it?

  The most well known verse in the Bible says that God so loved the world that He sent His only Son, and that whoever believes on Him will have eternal life. We are about to enter the Easter Season, the time we observe Jesus dying on the cross for our sins and rising from the dead. The Good news of the Gospel is that Jesus died for the sins of everyone....not for a select few. He offers salvation to all, and this mighty God gives us the choice to serve Him, or to refuse Him and eternal life.

 I asked the question above, but it does totally boggle my mind why so many Calvinists can't leave the predestination and election crap alone. To keep insisting that God picks out who He will save and who He will not, and that we have no free will......that is so far removed from what the Good News of the Gospel is that I honestly can't comprehend why it is more important to spread that message of John Calvin's instead of declaring the Good News that Jesus loves you and will save you. It would almost seem that predestination, election, and God's sovereignty are more important than God Himself, and spreading the news of God's love. It seems so many of them would rather spread the news that God picks and chooses who He will save, and you have no choice in the matter.

 For years, I struggled to believe God loved me. There were many factors I won't go into here, but it was only about 5 years ago that I finally believed God loved me. What if I had been a Calvinist? I would most likely have just figured I wasn't one of  the chosen ones and given up completely on being a Christian.

 And if I did believe as the Calvinists do, I believe I would most likely become an atheist...... for I could not serve the God they present... a God lacking mercy, justice, and love, and only dolling it out to those He picked ahead of time to force it on....which really isn't love or justice either.

 In closing, I was talking to my Sunday School teacher, who is the smartest person I know. Seriously. I brought up some verses that outright contradict Calvinism and asked how they could argue with them. He said they just always bring up God's sovereignty to deflect any of those questions.... so maybe that is more important to them than God's love.

In eternity past God decided to make an entire group of people for the express purpose of sending them to eternal damnation as a witness to his divine love. He then commissioned Calvinist preachers to call that doctrines of grace -Calvinism

Tuesday, March 6, 2018

March musings 2

1) Cooking for one
 I am really bad at cooking for just me, and end up throwing stuff out a lot. People keep saying you can freeze this or that, but here is the problem: There is never room in my freezer. All I have is the one above my refrigerator, and it is usually overflowing with food that is not leftovers.

 What I need is a small chest freezer, but I can't afford a new one. I found one on Facebook back in January for $50, in great condition. I told the guy I wanted it, but I couldn't have picked it up til the next day. Some woman commented after me and said she could get it that day, so he let her have it.

 It is a bit difficult to only have the amount of freezer space above a refrigerator.....but oh well.

Maybe I need the book I pictured.

2) Lunch with the nieces

 Today was my second of two days off in a row, so I asked my nieces if they wanted to meet for lunch, and they replied yes. The oldest said "long time, no uncle lunches." It was taco Tuesday at the Mexican restaurant we like, but I wasn't in the mood for tacos. I suggested our favorite pizza place instead, so we met at Wedgewood Pizza in Salem. The youngest was in school, so it was the two oldest girls. It means a lot to me that my nieces and nephews are always willing to hang out with me, whether it be to play games or go out to eat.

3) Today's project

 When I have 2 days off in a row, I usually take it easy one of the days, and do cleaning, laundry, etc on the other. Today I decided it was time to tackle my storage room. I have a room on the first floor that has a concrete floor, and is where I stick things I don't know where else to put. The room had gotten out of hand, and you could hardly get through the door. There were plastic totes everywhere in there. I organized the ones that had Christmas in them and consolidated a bit. I had bought a larger tote than I had so my Christmas tree would fit in. I also finally brought in the tree from the porch. Most of the reason was it has been so wet and/or cold lately, I was waiting for a couple of dry nicer days to get it in.....and today was the day. I got it in a tote and put it in the storage room.

 I also threw out a lot of stuff I didn't need, including a wooden chair that my sister left.... and it wasn't worth keeping. It actually burnt pretty well with all of the other stuff I burnt. Among the mess was several empty totes, so I got them separated out and stacked in a corner. The room looks much better and organized now.

4) Billy Graham

 I was never a follower of Billy Graham. To be blunt, I am always suspicious of celebrity type preachers. I may be wrong, but I believe if any preacher actually preaches the truth and not a watered down Gospel, he will not be applauded by so many.

 I do believe he was a good man, and he lived a scandal-free life, which is more than you can say for many others like him. I have heard and read how careful he was to never have anything inappropriate happen, and he guarded his reputation well. It does appear he preached a prosperity Gospel, and died with a $25 million worth...

 I have never read a book or heard a sermon by him. It is sad he is gone, but it doesn't really make much difference in my life.

 And I know.. I probably just committed heresy in some people's eyes for daring to be slightly critical of the man.

5) The funeral

 I have seen several people posting about Trump being the only living president to go to Graham's funeral. A few thoughts on that:

I really don't care who went and who did not. Seriously.

The funeral was invitation only, so he may be the only one invited.

George W and Laura Bush paid their respects before the funeral.

Imagine the nightmare had all living presidents decided to attend. I think it is better that the rest did not.

I am weary of people posting about Trump being the only president to do this or that. It only makes it more difficult for me to keep my mouth shut, which is what Trump voters and supporters want.

 The thing is, Trump is also the first "Republican" president to do a lot of other stuff, but the same people don't post about that and don't want it brought up. I posted that on Facebook and about started a war. :)

 If these people don't want criticisms of Trump, then they shouldn't go overboard praising him and defending him.

He has done some things I agree with, but I still believe my party should never have made him our choice, and I still don't like him.

 What is most frustrating, is the idea is given that I can only criticize presidents and presidential candidates that conservatives and Christians don't support.... criticize Obama and Hillary...definitely. Trump? No way. We voted for him, so you aren't allowed to say anything bad about him.

6) Feeling masculine

  We are so constantly deluged with ideas of what is manly and masculine....yet many of those things are not what the Bible would indicate are traits of a real man. i.e. playing sports, watching sports, drinking beer, chewing, fishing, hunting, sleeping with as many women as you can, etc.

 I'll admit I have struggled in this area all of my life. I wasn't just disinterested in sports.....I was terrible at them. I don't know much about cars, and would rather pay Walmart to change my oil than do it myself. I changed the brake pads on my last car, but only felt extremely frustrated....not masculine.

 I'm not even attracted to the right gender. Oh, that is something that plays over and over in my head.."you're such a failure as a man, you aren't even attracted to women."

 My Sunday School teacher had an excellent message recently in church on the issue of a real man according to the Bible. That needs to be our source for what makes a man. We need to stop letting the world and Hollywood dictate what makes a real man.

 All that aside, I was in a sporting good store last week, and bought a gun cleaning kit and some ammo for my pistol while there......and I felt very masculine surrounded by several guys buying guns, ammo, and other "guy" stuff.

7) School shootings

  There is still more coming out about this last shooting that makes it obvious that law enforcement really dropped the ball. I am not a conspiracy theorist, but I have wondered before if these shootings are at least allowed to happen.....if not orchestrated to help the cause to ban guns. This last shooting almost sounds like it was wanted to happen. And any time there is a shooting, the media and liberals start blaming the NRA and Republicans, while screaming for more gun control before the bodies are even in the morgue. I believe they are almost happy for another occasion to further their agenda to disarm law abiding Americans.

8) Garden

 I would like to plant some tomatoes this summer, but not sure if they would survive here. I have already seen rabbits hanging around, and deer are often in the field across from my house. The wildlife may just think it is their salad bar....but I love fresh tomatoes from the garden. Sure, I can get them from my parents, but I am not there every day like I was when I was living with them.

 And I am not sure where to plant them.

9) My pencil tree

 I bought a pencil tree half off after Christmas. My intent was to decorate it for different holidays and seasons, but it still has what I put on it in January. Granted, February was kind of nuts with my having to move out for 2 1/2 weeks..... and St Patrick's Day is just another day to me, so I don't do anything for it..... including decorating.

 In addition to the tree, I put white lights around the ceiling. I had colored ones for Christmas, and really liked sitting in the living room with just the tree and those lights, so I put white ones up for the rest of the year so I can enjoy that when it isn't Christmas.

10) Suing gun manufacturers 

 There are still ongoing lawsuits by families from Sandy Hook against Remington. However, if one can go after a gun maker in those instances, then when someone is killed or hurt by a drunk driver, shouldn't the beer manufacturer and the bar where the person drank be able to be sued?

11) Changing the age

 I am not really for changing the age to buy guns to 18. The majority of shooters in these shootings are well over 18. To me, it seems like something they are putting out there so it looks like they are doing something to the crowd screaming against guns. If an 18 year old isn't mature enough to own a gun, they aren't old enough to vote.

12) Books

 I really do need to get rid of some of my books, but I have no idea where. I hate the idea of having to list them on line and mail them, but the only place I know of to trade them in for cash is Halfprice books....the nearest one is in Pittsburgh, and I was very unhappy with all I got out of the last ones I took there.

I also need to weed out my CDs.....same problem. I think I need a garage sale.

13) Porch furniture

 I would like to get a couple of chairs, possibly a small table of some kind, and maybe some kind of ottoman for my front porch.....though visitors are so rare, one chair may be enough. :)

 My back porch has a porch swing, but I would like something for my front porch also.

14) My book

 A few years ago, I started writing a book. I got up to around 55,000 words.....if I remember correctly. A few people read what I wrote and liked it, but then my depression hit hard and I never finished it. I still have it sitting in a file on my computer, and lately I have felt like I should work on it....but I don't feel the drive or creativity to do so. Maybe some day.

15) Blogging

 I am making an attempt to blog more than I had been....but for now, I don't have ideas for a whole blog post. Maybe those will come.

Thursday, March 1, 2018

What if Nikolas Cruz had sought help?

 I am blessed to have attended a Christian school from K-12. Unfortunately, I was bullied a lot which messed me up a lot in several areas.... but I am still glad I wasn't in a public school.

 The Florida school shooter, Nikolas Cruz, was 19 years old. I assume he has only been out of school for a year. Whatever was building in him to do what he did wasn't something that just happened....it was building for a long time.

 What if he had sought help when he was in school? He may have received counseling of some sort that may have helped a bit, but he would never have been pointed to  the solution: Jesus. You see, the public school kicked God out. Teachers and others can get in trouble if they dared talk to a student about Jesus. That isn't allowed.

But what if Cruz had been in a school where prayer was allowed, where anyone could talk freely about Jesus? Could it have made a difference? We will never know. But we do know this: all of these shooters were liberals, raised by liberals, and schooled in liberal thought in government run schools where talk of God is not allowed, and prayer is not allowed. Could it be that public schools with all their anti-God and pro-abortion, pro-gay, pro-transgender and pro everything else evil is spawning killers?

 It isn't the fault of the NRA. It isn't Trump's fault, nor Republicans. It is because of evil, and our country pushing God and morals aside, and embracing everything evil and wicked that man can come up with. Morality and God are mocked, while the vile is celebrated, defended, and pushed on our kids.

 These shootings are not done by kids raised in Christian homes with both parents involved. They aren't done by kids in Christian schools.....or those home schooled. They are done by men and boys raised in the wicked public schools, and most of them with an absentee father or no father.

 We have decided not to do anything God's way.....marriage, sexuality, morals, child rearing, education, and more......and this is the result.

 I was a troubled kid. I was bullied more than anyone seemed to realize. I grew up thinking no one liked me. It was largely responsible for struggling to believe God loved me, a struggle that lasted until a few years ago. I also believe it played a big part in my sexuality issues.

 But I never thought about hurting anyone. Never.

 And I believe it was because I was raised right, and knew that God was the answer. Something Nikolas Cruz never had the chance to learn at school, and possibly nowhere else.

*Disclaimer: I in no way excuse this young man's actions or mean to take away his own responsibility for his horrible and evil actions

March musings

  I have really slacked off on blogging. I blogged once in February. Granted, it was a weird month with furnace issues and my having to move out for 2 1/2 weeks, then move back in.

 I have written some posts, but figure they are too controversial to post....questions for Calvinists, why I am still anti-Trump.......for example. I also occasionally type up a blog, get it out of my system and never post it. There are a lot of those posts in the drafts section of my blog.

 As I sit here typing, it is 12:30 am. The calendar has turned to March 1. It is a mild evening, so I guess one could assume March came in like a lamb and is supposed to go out like a lion......if there is anything to that. And why just March? Why doesn't that apply to other months?

 Anyway, I don't feel like going to bed, and for lack of anything else interesting me to do, I decided to blog. Maybe I'll actually post this one.

 I am going to post it. I started it before I went to bed and finished it this evening, Thursday.

Really early Thursday morning...

1) Evening activities

  Since I am off tomorrow, I like to stay up late since I can't do that on the night before work. I stopped at Walmart on my way home, then came home and heated up some of the spaghetti left from last night..... and there is still some left.

 I watched a movie while I ate, then tackled the house. I vacuumed the whole house, did the dishes, a load of laundry, and the long overdue task of taking down my Christmas lights out of my windows. The outside tree is still on the porch, but it has yet to dry out enough to bring inside.

 I moved some bookcases around. I had a shelf full of Narnia books and memorabilia in my library with a map of Narnia and some Narnia play figures hanging on the wall. I had to move it to make room for a another tall shelf for fiction. I moved the Narnia stuff to the hall, and moved the bookcase of joke books and humor downstairs to my all purpose room. I seriously need to weed out some of my books, but I don't know what I'd do with them.

2) McDonalds

 I needed batteries and light bulbs, so I took a quick trip to the dollar store this evening. McDonalds is beside it, and I decided to check out the newly renovated and updated McDonalds. One new thing is a large touch screen you can order and pay on. I don't like those, but the line for the one register was long, so I used it and paid. I then stood near the counter waiting.

 After the line was through, the lady asked if she could help me. I told her I ordered and paid on the screen. She asked me if I needed a cup. I replied with a smirk, "I hope I get a cup.....I only ordered a McFlurry"

  Related advice: Never try to eat a McFlurry while driving at night.

3) Visiting a pastor

 I am not in favor of women pastors, but there is a nice one who comes to the hospital regularly and volunteers as a chaplain. She had a fall and broke her hip,, so I visited her while at work yesterday and today. To my knowledge, she had one visitor other than me.....though people may have visited her who didn't need the room number from me. I bought her flowers in the gift shop and she really appreciated it.

4) Work

 Work has been frustrating lately. We suddenly have a wheel chair shortage, and are constantly running out of them at the main entrance and other places, and then have a horrible time coming up with some. It is both embarrassing and frustrating, and has had me on edge all week.

5) Work 2

 There are some really nice people who work at the hospital. I have a lot of people who speak to me and call me by name, give me hugs, and chat when they can. That makes work a better place when you have great coworkers, even from other departments.

6) Guns

 I am really weary of the battle over guns. We don't have a gun problem in America, we have an problem of evil and hatred. America needs God back in the schools and government, not more gun control that will only take guns off of law abiding people and make us more vulnerable to an evil government.

7) I bought a gun

 With part of my tax refund, I bought a nice pistol I am very happy with. It made me feel patriotic to be in the store seeing people all around me buying guns and practicing  that thing liberals hate....the Second Amendment.

8) Walls

  I think one reason I have slacked off on blogging, is I can feel my walls going back up. For years I was withdrawn and didn't think anyone liked me. Then I let the walls come down, and as a result I have become open about my feelings, my struggles, and thoughts......and then Trump happened. After months of people trying to shut me up and trying to get me to go against my conscience, I started feeling isolated and have started withdrawing into myself. I admit I get lonely, yet I have come to love being alone.

9) Trump.....the underlying reason for my anger

 I have thought a lot about this past election, Trump, Christians and conservatives picking such a man, and all that has happened and been said. I have come to a conclusion that is under all of my anger and frustration about all of this. And this is extremely personal:

 I feel like many Christians who support and defend Trump are pointing at gay people, horrified by their sin that is worse than others in their eyes. They almost hate gay people, and many Christians would shun them, make fun of them, and view them as really bad people........ then with the other arm they are embracing Donald Trump and having no problem with his serial adultery, his owning strip clubs, his vulgarity, and his bragging he likes to grab women by their genitals.

 Newsflash: homosexuality is not worse than what Trump is.

 I have fought these feelings for years, really not having anyone close by to talk to about it, and for years hiding it and having to lie about why I wasn't married. I was terrified of people finding out, and then I got to a place I didn't care about people knowing. I honestly don't know what people think of me. Are people at church afraid they will catch it off of me? Does anyone shun me because of my struggles? I don't know. I am sure there are some who might look down on me. I am pretty much a loner, but then I was before I "outted" myself.

 Honestly.....there have been times in my life I have felt like just going for it.....forget the church and Christian thing and live the gay life. It is far more difficult than anyone knows to deal with this. I want love. I want a special someone to be with, to have romantic dinners with, to cuddle on the couch.....but the desires in me are not for a woman to have that with..... and God says no to what seems so natural.

 One reason I haven't, is because it would hurt people. I know I would be shunned majorly. Oh there are other reasons, but those come into play....and yet so many of  these people who would condemn me for giving in act like Donald Trump is ordained of God. It is really frustrating.

 I don't think I am better than anyone else for not going against my conscience and voting for a man Christians should have fled from instead of embracing. I am just a guy who tried to do the right thing and took quite the beating from Christians for it.

 If you are reading this, maybe you won't get it, and just toss aside what I have said from my heart....but it is true. I feel many of the same people defending all of this bad stuff in Trump condemn the gay crowd, and would condemn me if I had gone that way.

10) The crush

 There is a new girl in the coffee shop at work. She is in her 30's, and was pretty discouraged her first week. I tried to encourage her, and even gave her a hug one day......As they say, the road to hell is paved with good intentions. Last Saturday, another coffee shop lady said she was going to play match maker and told me this lady has a major crush on me, and told me I should go for it. I am way over trying to make excuses, so I told this lady I am not attracted to women. She was shocked, but it stopped the match making attempt. The lady wouldn't be my type anyway were I "normal". Now I have this fear she is going to ask me out. And I was just trying to be nice.......

11) Lunch with the nephews

 My nieces live close to me, so I take them out to eat fairly often. My nephews are an hour away and the chance to do so with them is rare. I was off this past weekend and wasn't doing anything Saturday, so I drove over to Canton and took them out to eat at Chik fil a, and went to a couple of stores. It was fun, and they seemed to enjoy it.

Thursday evening

12) My books

 One of my aunts asked me on Facebook how many books I have. I had no idea, and with little to do today on my day off, I decided to count. Including books out on loan, I came up with 1232. 760 of  those are fiction, which is no surprise. I knew I had more of it than any other kind of books.

13) Life

 Sometimes life seems so mundane. You work so you can pay your bills, and don't have enough time or money left to really enjoy life the way it should be enjoyed. It is kind if depressing if you think much about it. I have come to really treasure my days off, and am thankful for my current schedule of 4 10 hour days, and 3 days off throughout the week. They aren't in a row, but I usually have 2 days off in a row..... and I love that.

14) Mr Davis the Calvinist 

 Since I am in and interact in some Facebook groups for people with same-sex attractions, I have had several people in those groups add me as a friend on Facebook. One such guy was a guy I'll call Mr Davis. He is "Reformed", which pretty much boils down to being a hyper/extremist Calvinist. I wearied of his constant attacks on Arminians - we who are not Calvinist. I even told him how offensive he was being, and he didn't care. I eventually blocked him. Now, a couple of years later, he has a new profile, and sent me a friend request. I ignored it for a day. He had recently attacked the Wesleys and anyone who follows their teachings on a friend's post. He messaged me and promised he had changed, and that he wasn't the offensive extreme Calvinist he had been. So I added him.... and it wasn't many days until he was back bashing anyone who disagrees with Calvinism. I commented one one such post, and he posted some really anti-Arminian stuff on my wall, so that was it.

 Some of these Calvinists act like they are trying to win disciples to John Calvin instead of Jesus. You would think they'd be trying to win people to Jesus, instead of ranting about how God picks and chooses who He will save and condemn, that we have no choice in the matter, and they are part of the elect.

 More than one has shared memes mocking anyone who is not Calvinist.. and I truly don't get it. Why is proving Calvinism right more important than sharing the Gospel?

And for the record, though I may agree with most of the Wesley's teachings, I don't revere them and rarely think about them.

Maybe I SHOULD post that blog about questions for Calvinists.......

15) Cooking

 I like to cook, and do a lot of it since I live alone. Unfortunately, I don't cook small amounts. I overdid it on spaghetti this week, and today I made a huge amount of beef vegetable soup that will last me a while.... and it is really good, if I must say so myself.

 And I added potatoes and more broth after the picture below was taken.

16) Flies

 I love my place, and feel blessed to be in it. I have a bad fly problem though...... I mean really bad. Last night I vacuumed up around 30-40 dead flies from the windows and floor in my library. Every night before I go to bed, I kill a few in my room. I find dead flies on the floor in my dining room daily, and have a few fly tapes hanging throughout the house. It is gross, but I don't know how to keep them out of the house.

17) NRA

 I had a Facebook friend who is an extreme liberal. She was quiet when Obama was in office, but came out swinging when Trump won. Turns out she thinks Obama was awesome, and is against everything good.....while claiming to be a Christian. I don't like Trump, but she was obsessed with him, constantly posting about him, rejoicing when someone left his administration, etc. I got tired of her constant ant-gun rants and her raving about how wonderful the kids are who are marching against guns.....and deleted her. I never could understand how she could think Trump was so bad and Obama so good.....where was she for 8 years?!

 Anyway, she is largely responsible for me getting an NRA membership to show my support of them since she was constantly ranting against them and blaming them for school shootings.I even got a free magazine and duffel bag out of it.

18) Reading

 I have read 32 books towards my goal of 150 books for the year. I am 25% of the way, and 11 books ahead, according to Goodreads. I should hit my goal if I keep it up.

19) NRA hat

 There was an older guy at the hospital this week wearing an NRA hat. I told him I liked his hat. He replied that he had gotten several positive comments on it, and had a few people yell "killer!" at him for wearing it. Lovely. I'd be afraid to wear one in public.

20) Blogging

 I do need to blog more than I have. This is a good start to doing so, a new blog post on the first day of a new month.

Until next time.......