Thoughts of a messed up Christian saved by God's grace

Tuesday, June 2, 2020

The quarantine edition #3

Ugh, I can't believe it is June already. The last day I worked was April 11. I am on my 8th week of being laid off, and didn't work for over half of April and all of May. They are still doing it  week by week. My boss calls every Friday and lets us know about the next week. She said she doesn't want to leave us hanging for too long, so that is why she does it weekly. She did ask me if that worked OK for me, which it does.


 I found out today that my neighbors are moving at the end of the month. They are in the other half of the duplex, and are a very nice young Jehovah Witness couple with a 2 year old girl. They are quiet, and have been great neighbors.

 My landlord gives him $50 off the rent to do the mowing on the months that the grass needs mowed. When my landlord dropped my water bill off today, he told me they were moving and asked if I'd be interested in mowing for $50 off the rent a month. He furnishes the mower and weed wacker, so I said I'd do it. $50 may not sound like much, but there isn't much grass to mow. I doubt it would take over 30 minutes, if it even takes that long. I am guessing I'll have to keep the mower and weed wacker in my basement....and that doesn't excite me.

 Nor does it excite me to get new neighbors...but my landlord is very picky. I had to give references of where I rented, personal references, my credit score, my employment proof and how much I make.

 Speaking of neighbors....the neighbors in the houses on both sides of the duplex smoke on their porches....which means if I sit on mine, I'll get it from both sides. I had my kitchen door open one day this week, and it smelled like cigarette smoke. I really, really hate cigarettes. I feel bad for those who are addicted and want to quit...I hear it is almost impossible. There isn't much yard behind the duplex, but I could sit back there if I want to sit outside.

The park

 I am within walking distance of the park in my town....well, I am within walking distance of pretty much anything in my town...and had never been to the park in the 9 months I have lived here. There is the entrance to a paved walking trail right past the park, so I walked down toady to walk on it since today was a gorgeous day. The trail isn't long, and winds back into the park. I was surprised at how big it is, and how beautiful it is. It has several picnic pavilions, swimming pools, a couple of baseball fields, a pond, gazebo, etc.

 I spent some time just wandering around enjoying it, and taking pictures. I definitely plan on spending more time there.

 And I should have worn sunblock or a hat :)

George Floyd

  It is terrible about the death of Mr Floyd at the hands of a corrupt cop. This will sound terrible, but I am tired of hearing about it. Several people on Facebook post multiple times about it a day, many lecturing and giving their opinion over and over and over. And yes, it is horrible.....but the cop has been arrested and hopefully will go away for a very long time.

 But seriously, how many times does one person need to post about it? Yes, there is racism in this country, and it is on all sides. There is just as much, if not more, towards whites (thanks Obama!)... and why do some injustices get so much attention and endless posts.

 This past week, a black man was killed because of the riots. His death is not getting much attention, or endless posts on social media. Why not? He was black. Also, this past week, 2 young cops were killed....and their deaths aren't getting much attention either...or the other cops who have been killed this year.

  America has a racism problem, but it is from all races....not just whites....but we are the ones who get railed at and told how horrible we are over and over. If George Floyd was white, it wouldn't get even close to the outrage we are dealing with. And I am honestly not trying to take away from the horror of his death at all.

 I honestly think the endless posts about him are just making it worse, inciting more hate, more riots, and even more racism. And the media thrives on it.

 And this is just for Trump supporters who are on Facebook posting endless posts about racism: I have a Facebook friend who is black, and he struggles a lot with what he sees as racism from Trump and a lot of his supporters.

 I am just so tired of the negativity on Facebook. Yeah, I am guilty of it too. I try not to be, but I get sucked into it. I have started pausing a lot of people and pages who are posting the constant negativity about this.

 I am depressed. Severely depressed. I don't need 99% of the posts on Facebook to be negative and make me feel worse and make me angry - a lovely side effect of depression.

  The other day, I challenged my Facebook friends to do a positive post. Out of the 588 friends, I think 3 or 4 did it.

  And yeah, I go so long without criticizing dear leader, but after seeing so many posts about him by people who refuse to see any wrong in him and continually praise him to the point of nausea....it is like I snap and start sharing my thoughts about him.

  But I am not alone. Way too many Christians on Facebook post negative post after negative post. They attack Nancy Pelosi and Biden - for a lot of what Trump is guilty of - they rail about racism, masks, etc. It is kind of difficult to remain positive on Facebook when so many of what is running across your feed is negative.

 And again, I have considered getting rid of Facebook....but I keep in contact with relatives, acquaintances, and authors.... and do a lot of book and book review related things on and through Facebook.

 Maybe one just needs to slowly weed out  the negative Nellys, political Pauls, and racist lecture Larrys, and try to get your feed on the positive side.

 And maybe Christians need to consider more what they post. What effect it will have, if it will be helpful or not, etc. Because too much of what we post isn't helpful, positive,  or encouraging.

 Speaking of negativity, I got a funny blog post comment recently. The person said it was nice that I had a place where I could share my thoughts, but I was too negative and they should have read a newspaper instead . :)


  When I moved into the farmhouse a few years ago, my oldest sister gave me one of their 4 pianos. Yeah - 4. It was the one we learned to play on, and it had been in our family for around 33 years. I didn't like how it played, so I rarely played it, and I sold it when I moved here. My parents have a Yamaha electric piano I love. I tried to find the same model on Amazon, but they don't have it. So I went shopping on there this evening. I looked at Yamaha pianos, Roland (I used to have one), and other brands, and finally narrowed it down to three Yamaha pianos. They were all different prices. Option #1 had a lot of reviews, didn't have many bells and whistles, and had several negative reviews. Option #2 cost more, had some bells and whistles, didn't have many reviews - but all were good - and the piano sounded better in the description than option #1. Option #3 was even more money, had a lot of bells and whistles, good reviews - just a few reviews- and looked like a lot of fun.

 I debated for a while, and settled on option #2. I didn't figure I needed all the bells and whistles on the third one, plus it looked like it took up more space. The reason I shopped Amazon is I could get 12 months same as cash, with no interest if paid off in a year....and I hopefully will pay it off long before that.

 The option I picked comes with a bench, stand, sustain pedal, power cord, and headphones....though I don't need those.

 I was playing at my sister's on Memorial day, and was dismayed at how rusty I am....so hopefully I can get back in practice. It should come Friday, and I can't wait. I am just hoping it fits where I want to put it.

Garage sale

 When my little sister and family moved back in March, they had a lot of stuff for a yard sale....but you couldn't have one because of the virus. And I mean a lot of stuff. Caleb, my niece's fiance' loaded up a trailer and the back of his pickup, and they loaded their van when they brought the stuff to my parents'.

 We are planning on one later this week, so I got together a lot of things for it. I sold a dresser to my little sister instead of putting it in the sale, and still have a lot. I took two carloads down today, and still have enough for another.

 I of course have several books and CDs, among other things. I debated about selling my card table and 4 chairs, and finally decided to do so. It is a nice thing to have, but I never, ever use it. I don't have company, and there is no use of it just sitting in the basement gathering dust. There are things that are nice to have on hand, but why keep them if you never use them. Well, I did use it when I wrapped Christmas gifts.....but that is not enough to merit keeping it.

Foot peel

  My feet are really dry, and I was Googling what to do to help. A foot peel was one option, and one I had never heard of. After researching it, and comparing different brands, I ordered one and did it last week.

 What is a foot peel? You get two bootie type things made out of plastic and filled with "stuff" - lotions, etc. The one I used said to wear them for 2 hours, and for best results wear socks. I cannot explain how weird it felt. The directions said the dry skin would start peeling off in 7-10 days, but it started in a few.....and yes, it works and helps. I may do a second one to help the worst of it....but I do recommend.

 And if you try it, I'd go with Amazon. I first tried a cheap one from Walmart, but it wasn't the same and did nothing.

Do we truly want equality?

  This is a thought I have had for a long time, if I can get across in a way that makes sense.

   Years ago, when there was a crime or violent act between a black and white person, the black person had no voice and was presumed guilty....and that was wrong and evil.  We have flipped that around. Now when there is an incident between black and white, it often becomes a national incident and the white person is always presumed wrong, and the media even works to make it that way. And that is wrong and evil. When Trayvon Martin was killed, CBS doctored the 911 call to make it sound like it was racist motivated....I still don't understand why their actions weren't a bigger deal to people.

  And yes, as in this most recent incident, the white guy is sometimes in the wrong. But imagine for a moment...if George had been white, how different reactions would be. No one would be "whiting out" today, and a lot of things would be different.

 There is just as much hate and racism towards whites, but it gets ignored and is OK. There have been a lot of black people in the public eye who have said terrible things about whites, and nothing happens. When Obama was in office, it was quite popular to hate whites and cops...he encouraged it.

 So here is my point: If everyone truly wants equality, then why do incidents get treated so differently when a black person is the victim? Someone said something on Facebook I thought made sense. He said his views are a little different: A corrupt cop murdered an American. Think about that. Why does race always have to be brought into it? More white people are killed by cops, but people only focus on the black ones killed. Cops are killed all the time, and there is nowhere near the same reactions.

 And the same goes for gay people. People's race or sexual orientation always have to be mentioned if they are certain colors or sexual orientation. It seems people prefer keeping us divided and different.

 I am not saying there is not racism or true homophobia....there is. But there is just as much hate and bigotry aimed at Christians and white people.....but it is accepted, overlooked, and even defended. And yeah, I keep hearing we shouldn't say all lives matter right now...but if not, then when will be deal with the racism and hate towards whites and Christians? We matter too, not just black people and gay people.

 The truth of the matter is there is a segment of Americans who thrive on division. Someone said once if there was no racism towards blacks, Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton would be out of work.....but they are not the only ones who want racism and division to stay alive.

 I hope I got my point across without being misunderstood...but I understood. :)

 Why can't we all just be Americans?

Are we all narcissists?

 Could we all be a bit narcissistic? That could explain this need for so many of us to express our opinions over and over on so many issues. We seem to think the world needs to know our thoughts, feelings, and opinions on things people probably are not waiting with baited breath for us to express. Yeah, deep thought.

Pride month

  June is gay pride month. There was a day I was terrified of people finding out that I was attracted to males instead of females. I can honestly say I don't care who knows at this point. I didn't ask for it, and it doesn't seem to affect how people are involved in my life....but then my family is pretty much the only people I see outside of church and work and interact and hang out with.

 I am not ashamed of my attractions. No, I am not proud, and I get disgusted by gay pride. I still believe 100% you cannot be a Christian and have any kind of gay relationship. That is Biblical.  I also believe pride is a sin as the same Bible says, so you have a two-fer if you celebrate gay pride.

 What really gets me is when companies have to jump on it. Last year, Papa John's kept featuring gay employees on social media. Other companies make specific products rainbow during June. What is alarming is the amount of Christians who promote it.

 I get the idea of gay pride. So many had to hide it for so long, but that doesn't make it right. I do believe everyone should be allowed to live as gay if they want, but it should not infringe on the rights of Christians...and it does. But that is another story.

 The church and Christians need to do better in this area than most do. No, the answer isn't patting gay people on the backs and helping them believe a lie that will cause them to miss Heaven. But homosexuality is one of many sins that will keep people out of Heaven and that you cannot be a Christian and practice. Could you be friends with a heterosexual guy who is living with his girlfriend? That too is a sin that will keep people out of Heaven, though we are used to it and hardly think anything of it anymore. A Christian should be able to be friends with gay people and love them without acting like they are gross or constantly pointing out how wrong their lifestyle is.

 No young person should be thrown out of his parents' house because he is gay. Yes, the parents have a right to  say certain behaviors are not allowed in the house, but that is not Christianity to toss out your own kid because he is gay...but it happens. There are a lot of homeless youth who got kicked out of their parents' homes because they were gay. And of course not all of the parents are Christians who do that, but many are.

 Homophobia is not believing the Bible says it is a sin. Homophobia is hate and a fear of being around gay people.

Capital One

 I have a savings account, credit card, and auto loan with Capital One, and can access all three on the same website. I mentioned I paid my car off, but I had questions last week and could not get through to talk to anyone. The automated thing just kept circling me around for half an hour til they closed. Then I paid it off, and everything seemed fine. I got an email saying my loan was paid off, and they closed the account on the website.

 Then today, I got an email with a statement. I logged on, and it said I owe $499+, and that a payment had been reversed. I tried something new....I called the line for new auto loan applicants, and guess what......I got through immediately. I finally had someone from their connect me to someone for current loans. The guy was very nice, and it took him a while, but it turns out the car is paid off, and he said to give them a week and it should all be straightened out.

 While I was on their site, I noticed something that made my day. It has my credit score, and it is excellent. I had to file bankruptcy about 11-12 years ago, and my credit has been improving, but it made my day that it is excellent. Hopefully I can keep it there.

 It is sad that current customers find it impossible to talk to customer service, but possible ones can get through immediately. And yes, I tried everything. :)


 I have seen a lot of hateful comments about cops, and there has been a lot of violence against them. There have some killed during the riots, and others hurt. One young cop was shot in the back of the head while making an arrest. He is alive, and hopefully makes it.

 All these people who hate cops....if they need one some day, their attitude might change. Yes, there are corrupt and bad cops....but there are bad and corrupt people in every profession that exists...especially politicians...99.99% of them are corrupt and bad.

 There are a lot of good police officers out there keeping us safe. It is wrong to lump them all together and hate all cops for the actions of a few bad ones.

This was posted on one page I follow:

In the last 96 hours...
-A Las Vegas Metropolitan Police Officer was shot in the back of the head while struggling with a rioter
-An active shooter opened fire on law enforcement at a Las Vegas courthouse
-4 St. Louis Police Officers were shot by an active shooter
-A New York Police Officer was struck by a vehicle
-3 Buffalo law enforcement officers were struck by a vehicle in front of the police station
-3 Davenport law enforcement officers were ambushed and 1 was shot
-132 officers were injured in Chicago during a riot
-9 Pittsburg officers were injured by objects during a riot
-Several officers in Rhode Island were injured during riots
-An active shooter opened fire at the Oakland Police Department
-2 officers were struck in the head with projectiles in Santa Ana
-2 Richland officers were shot in Virginia
-1 officer was struck in the head by a brick in Albany
-4 Prince William County Police Officers sustained head injuries from projectiles
-7 officers were injured in Sacramento
-Several officers were shot at and injured in Lynchburg
-Several Champaign Police Officers were injured
-3 Oak Law Police Officers were injured
-21 officers were injured in Salt Lake City
-At least 50 Secret Service Agents were injured by Molotov cocktails in Washington
-3 Denver Police Officers were ran over by a vehicle
-33 New York Police Officers were injured during riots
-6 Athens Police Officers injured during a protest
-2 Capitol Police Officers were injured during a riot in Harrisburg
-12 Las Vegas Metropolitan Police Officers were injured during riots
-21 Minneapolis law enforcement officers injured in riots
-1 Federal Protective Services Officer was shot and killed.

Source: Jeff Rey

 Will the same people doing the "black out" today do something to honor these people tomorrow? I doubt it. Their focus is only on one thing right now, and cops' lives don't matter to them. At least not right now.


 I started using Harry's razor blades a few years ago, and love them. I was happy when Walmart started carrying them, as I don't have to order on line. I thought it was odd though I saw in a recent post that their blades are not for shaving heads....and I shave my head with them all the time. So I don't get it.

 I recently tried a sample of their body wash, and really liked it. They had all 4 scents in 16 ounce bottles for $26, so I ordered them to add to my 25 other bottles of body wash. That is an exaggeration. I probably had 6 or so before. It may sound weird, but I kept smelling my arm the first day I used it. Yeah, that sounds weird. :)

More positive

  We all can do our part, so I am trying to be more positive.So I will end with something positive: My favorite restaurant, O Charley's, is open for dine in....first come, first serve. I haven't eaten inside there for a while - I did do curbside in March - so tomorrow I am planning on driving up to Boardman mainly to eat there.