Thoughts of a messed up Christian saved by God's grace

Thursday, June 30, 2016

Friends, for such a time as this

   I have been thinking about friends lately. Friends in my life who encourage and inspire me, friends that have parted ways for reasons even I don't really get, friends I have never met or may never meet....

   A conversation with one of those friends I have never met has been on my mind, and as I have thought about him and other friends throughout my life, a verse from one of my favorite Bible stories came to mind. In the book of Esther, Mordecai has come to Esther with the plot by Haman to kill off the Jews and Mordecai urges her to go to the king. Out of fear for her life, she is reluctant. In Esther 4:14, he replies:

" For if you keep silent at this time, relief and deliverance will rise for the Jews from another place, but you and your father's house will perish. And who knows whether you have not come to the kingdom for such a time as this?"

  For such a time as this. What if God brings people into our lives "for such a time as this"? Some  may be part of our lives for a short time, and fill a void or are a help and encouragement to us before moving on, others may be lifelong friends who never move on or move away,  and are there for us through thick and thin. And what if we are put in someone's life "for such a time as this?" That is kind of a heavy thought for me.... that I, Mark Buzard, could possibly be in someone's life to help them in some way. But it has happened. Yeah, I am just as shocked as you are.....

   The year was 2004. I was in a Christian Yahoo chat room and ran onto “John.” Twelve years is too long to remember the particulars, and it seems he has a better memory than I do and can remember more. We started chatting, and somehow the issue of same-sex attractions came up. I voiced that it was something I struggled with, and it turned out that  John was dealing with them himself, and not dealing very well. Being able to talk to another Christian guy who knew exactly what it was like seemed heaven-sent to him.

  John and I kept in contact for a while, chatting and discussing our mutual problem, and then I lost track of him...until Facebook. One day in 2010 I got a friend request from John, and we started building a closer friendship -  as close as two friends can be that live several states apart. We chat, text, talk on the phone, and I would say he is probably the best friend I have who I have never met. More than once, he has brought up how we met in a Christian chat room and how I somehow (my word) found the right words to say to this Christian brother who was hurting so badly and didn't know where to turn. I can't remember what I told him, but God had to have helped me to say the things I needed to say to help him.

   And the friendship is beneficial to me. He is a very positive person and inspires and encourages me on a daily basis. He has even revamped my resume' a couple of times for me. We were just talking recently, and a picture I had posted had brought that all back to him how we ended up chatting and he found hope through this very messed up guy. When we first chatted, I had a picture of the Cape Hatteras Lighthouse as my Yahoo profile picture for chatting. When I recently posted my vacation pictures from being there, he saw pictures of that same lighthouse and it all came back to him.

  God can use anyone and anything, and for John it was a very messed up Christian guy in a Christian chat room that just happened to be dealing with the same issue as he was. It is very possible – very likely – that God had me there for such a time as this to help and encourage a guy I had never met.

   Then there is my best friend, Steven. We first met 10 years ago and quickly became best friends. I had never had a best friend before, and it seemed God sent him along when I needed one the most. I think and hope the friendship has been as beneficial to him. Unfortunately, he lives 400 + miles away, so we don't get to see each other very often. (Why does it seem the friends who want to hang out the most with me live far away?!) I know for me, God sent Steven into my life for one of those “for such a time as these” times.... and possibly the same is true of me for him.

  We talk often, text a lot, argue, make fun of each other's taste in music and books - at least I make fun of his..... he has become someone I can tell anything to without fear of him turning tail and running. I do believe it was a friendship that didn't just happen, but was orchestrated by God.

   And there have been others through the years. Some friends who come and go and helped me through rough patches. Other friends who were close and now are not so close, but were there for me in ways that I'll never forget.

   As I sit and think about the people in my life: my fellow church members, my family, the people who I work with and have worked with.....only God knows how much He orchestrates the crossing of paths we have with different people. And that makes me wonder how many people I cross paths with who God may use me to help or encourage in some way. As my “chance” online meeting with John shows, God can use even me to help and encourage someone... someone He may have brought into my life for the sole purpose of me doing that.

  For me, that is a sobering thought. Yeah, I know I am the one who said it, but it is still a sobering thought. May God help me to be the kind of man and Christian that I should be so that I can be used by Him however and wherever He wants to use me.

   The people in my life: those I go to church with, my family, my friends – on and off of Facebook, the men and women I have met and befriended through the Hope for Wholeness ministry, the patients and visitors I see at the hospital where I work, the sales clerks and wait staff, and all others I cross paths with.......how many of them has God put in my path or life to either help and encourage me, or be helped and encouraged by me?

   Only Heaven may reveal who was put in our lives or whose lives we were put in for such a time a this.

Monday, June 27, 2016

Lions and gorillas, and pot, oh my!


   Turn back the calendar a year or so ago....an American dentist shot and killed a lion in Zimbabwe, and all hell broke loose. Americans had never hear of this lion named Cecil until it was shot and killed, and the reactions of many were  insane. There were people who wanted him arrested. He had to hide out in fear of his life, and there were people who seemingly would have been happy to have seen him put to death for the incident..... because he killed an animal. (I seem to remember people actually calling for his death).


  More recently, a small boy got in with a gorilla at the Cincinnati Zoo. Fears for the child's life resulted in the gorilla being killed. Again, the reactions were crazy, insane, and thoughtless. Everyone instantly became expert gorilla and child raising experts.

People thought the gorilla should have been shot with a dart to knock him out

People condemned the parents for not watching the boy closely enough.

Some people thought it would have been better for the kid to die instead of the gorilla - really, that is sadly no joke.

  Instead of being thankful a small child survived, people were more upset that an animal was killed to protect a human life.


  Ancient Egyptians worshiped cats, and it seems this country is close to animal worship, and no animal comes closer to being worshiped than dogs.....followed closely by cats. There have been several incidents where someone was attacked or mauled by a dog and I have read the comments on those stories. The amount of people worried that the animal will be put down is mind boggling....or if it is put down, people are upset. The animal is never at fault, and dog lovers are more worried about the welfare of the dog than the person it attacked.

  Just a couple of weeks ago, a woman walked onto some property to deliver some legal documents. She was doing her job. The people were not home, and they had dogs loose..... dogs that attacked and killed this woman. And who did the animal lovers blame? The woman.

It was her fault for trespassing..... uh, she was doing her job you insensitive clods

She deserved it - no she didn't.

The dogs were just protecting the property and should not be put down - uh, if a dog is vicious enough to kill someone, they should not be loose.


  Even more recently, a little 2 year old boy got grabbed by an alligator in Florida and was killed. Again, the parenting experts came out in condemnation of the parents.......as if the parents don't have it hard enough losing a child, now they have insensitive know-it-alls condemning them for not preventing it. I haven't seen any posts defending the alligator, but I would be very surprised if there aren't any out there.


  I am 100% un-apologetically opposed to the legalization of marijuana. I have read the reasons why it is a bad idea, and there is irrefutable proof that it is a very bad idea.... of course the pro-pot people refuse to admit it, but that is no surprise....they will do or say anything to get it legalized and more accessible.

  There are warnings out about candy with pot in them coming across the border from Colorado. People are being cautioned to be careful about the candy their kids have.... a sensible warning. a few months ago, some kids at a school in Pennsylvania were somehow able to order candy with pot in over the internet and had it delivered. Yeah, that is one of the dangers, the chances are greater of kids getting a hold of it if it is legalized, but pro-pot people don't seem to care.

  As I read through the comments on that news story, I was disgusted at some of the comments. A lot of people were mocking the idea of being worried about it. One young man said it wasn't a big deal if kids did get their hands on some, because marijuana isn't addictive.....these people are so pro-pot that they don't care or aren't worried about kids getting their hands on it. Unbelievable.

Oh my!

    I guess it should not be a surprise in a country where killing an innocent baby is not just defended, but celebrated.... and is one of the main platforms of the Democratic party.......but it seems we are losing our respect for human life. Animals matter more and too many people are more concerned with the death of an animal than with the death of a human.

How many Americans would have been upset if Cecil the lion had killed the dentist? Would the same people outraged about the death of a lion in another country been sad or outraged about the death of a dentist if the lion had killed him?

Would there have been as much outrage if the little boy had died instead of the gorilla? Would the same people posting about the gorilla being killed have posted anything if the boy had been hurt or killed?

If the woman had survived the dog attack and the dogs been put down, would the dog lovers have cared?

If a child gets hold of pot candy, will the pro-pot people even care? Would it make a dent in their push to legalize it?

The slippery slope

   A friend of mine posted a news story about the growing acceptance of pedophilia. It is a small number accepting it, but it is growing and some psychologists are starting to try to make it sound more acceptable. I commented about the slippery slope we are on, and that it will most likely happen here in America. A relative of the woman who posted it, mocked the idea and said there is a big difference in immorality in adults and between an adult and a child, and knocked the slippery slope idea.

  But is it really that far of a stretch? Take into account there are a lot of people out there who aren't just OK with babies being ripped a part in the womb, but would rather a small child die than an animal...or any human die instead of an animal.

Michael Jackson

  When Michael Jackson was alive, there were a lot of people who were positive the man was molesting kids.... and nothing ever happened. Parents still let their kids stay with him, it was known he slept with little boys, and he paid off a family to drop the accusations of his molesting their boy. People loved him so much, they wanted to ignore this stuff about him. There were people threatening to kill themselves if he had convicted of the child molestation charges...... they idolized this bizarre singer so much, they didn't care that he might have been a child molester.

  It just came out in the news that police found all kinds of child pornography and other bizarre pornography at his Neverland Ranch. It would seem everything thought about him was true..... but the die-hard Michael Jackson fans won't care.

 And too many people don't care about adults - especially teachers - having sex with their students, especially if it is a female teacher and male student.... it is a joke.

Gay parenting

   Even with the testimonies of people raised by gay parents, adoption by gay parents is being forced on us...along with all other things gay. A child doesn't matter as much as the "right" of 2 gay people to have a child in spite of God's plan of a man and woman having one together. The gay agenda is more important than the welfare of children.

Where are we going?

  All of this combined should be cause for concern. Abortion was most likely the first step, but America has lost the respect and love for human life. Animals are valued more by many people, and when a child is endangered people would rather point fingers than be sad a child died or happy they didn't. Is it really that hard to imagine in this country that is getting increasingly more and more godless and immoral, that the day will come when sex with children is defended and eventually legalized? It has happened before in other countries and civilizations. In ancient Rome, it was considered normal and accepted for adult men to have catamites - young boys used sexually by adults....

  Is it really that impossible of an idea that it will be legalized here in a country were killing babies is defended and celebrated? A country where even many Christians have no problem voting for politicians who celebrate and defend that "right"? Is it so hard to imagine it happening here when people care more about the treatment and value of animals than of humans?

  Humans are always more important than animals. We have a living soul that will spend eternity in heaven or hell. Regardless of the popular idea of animal lovers, animals do not go to Heaven, They die.... end of story, People matter. Human lives are what is important..... not a lion in another country, not a gorilla in a zoo, and not your pet who you sickeningly refer to yourself as "mommy" to.

 If we don't start respecting the sanctity of ALL human life... if we keep voting for politicians who are not pro-life no matter if they have a "D" or "R" by their name. we Christians will be as guilty of not respecting human life. all human lives matter to God, and they should to us also.

 So go ahead and post all of your pro-animal posts, but try to at least mention the horrors of abortion, Christians being tortured and killed by radical Muslims, people in sex trafficking, and more.....those all matter more than puppies, gorillas, lions, or any other animal.

Homosexuality..... the special sin

   There is an ever increasing push to take what the Bible says about homosexuality and either twist it, or interpret it to mean something entirely different. More and more Christians are following and teaching the heresy that the Bible doesn't really condemn homosexuality between 2 consenting adults, and that you can be gay - as in having sex with the same gender - and still be a Christian.

 I have tried to engage many of these people in intelligent debate and conversation, but the majority of them just dodge questions and attack you for daring to believe the Bible actually means what it says.

  But what makes this sin so special? I see no Christians pushing and defending any other sin named in the Bible, or even sins not specifically named in the Bible:









  We who dare stand up to these people get slapped down and asked why we are singling out this one sin. Why aren't we talking about other sins or poverty....... uh, maybe because no one is defending these other sins and trying to force acceptance of it on everyone. No one is publishing posts insisting any other sin is OK and that we should not say it is wrong. Even a blond should understand that.....

 There is a Christian Blogger group I am in. Yesterday one pro-gay man who claims to be a pastor and also doesn't believe in hell, posted 6 pro-gay posts. And people were more upset with we who dared to disagree with him than with him for posting things contrary to the Bible. Ironic.

 So what does make this sin special? Most proponents of pro-gay theology seem to come from a couple of ideals and arguments:

1) We must love gay people........ and that evidently means never disagreeing with them. (wow, I want that exemption!)

 The thing is, if the Bible is true - and I believe it is - any practicing gay person will spend an eternity in hell if they never repent and change. There is also the added "bonus" of the gay lifestyle being more dangerous health-wise.

 So is it really love to encourage people to just go with it and live that life? I can't see that it is. It is enabling. Love is treating them with compassion and telling them the truth.

 And we wouldn't do it with other issues. Imagine the drug addict being told it is OK to just do it since it is too hard to overcome, or the child molester, or the alcoholic.  

2) It isn't fair for gay people to go through life without having sex and/or someone to love. God wouldn't ask that. (Well Jesus did it til He was crucified at age 33)

  Life isn't fair. Is it fair to be single -  most likely for life - and be attracted to the wrong sex? No.... but neither is it fair to be born addicted to drugs or alcohol. Neither is it fair to be born blind, dead, crippled, missing limbs..... this being a Christian isn't about fair. It isn't fair that Jesus had to hang on a cross and suffer and die for our sins when He was innocent.

 So fair? That is life.

  We all have struggles and sins that tempt us. If it isn't same-sex attraction, it would be lust and the temptation to hook up with the opposite sex outside of marriage  - or in addition to marriage. Just because a struggle is difficult, does not make it OK. Many have walked away from homosexuality to serve God, only to go back to it because God didn't make them "straight".......since when did becoming straight be the goal in life? Our goal in life is to live for Jesus a life that pleases Him, to repent of our sin and walk away from it...... no matter how difficult that is or how attractive that sin is. The opposite of homosexuality is not heterosexuality - it is holiness.

   You cannot be a Christian and live in unrepentant sin, whether it be homosexuality, lying, jealousy, adultery, sex outside of marriage..... or any of the others. And God doesn't make exemptions just because it isn't easy to walk away or stay away from what is sin but feels natural.

 And if we truly love God and are taking up our cross and denying ourselves, we are not going to try to twist the inconvenient verses in the Bible. We are not going to try to make it say what we want it to say so we can live the way we want to live and be able to pass off what the Bible says.

  Homosexuality is a tough issue and is not easy to deal with on a personal level...... but the Bible still does say it is a sin and doing it will put you in hell for eternity. That isn't judging - as the pro-gay crowd likes to throw out - that is simply quoting what the Bible says. God's grace is enough to help conquer any sin or struggle. Homosexuality is not any harder for God to forgive and deliver from than any other sin.....it is not a special sin to Him, and it should not be to us.


Friday, June 24, 2016

Things men need to stop doing

This came about because of boredom - half fun and half serious ....Things men need to stop doing:

1) man bun - come on, it looks ridiculous

2) earrings - makes guys look like a sissy.... or gay..... or both

3) excessive tattoos...or any tattoos - don't try to look like a tattoo advertisement. And in today's competitive job market, why do something to make oneself less employable?

4) Walking out on their family

5) Just being a sperm donor - not taking responsibility for getting a woman pregnant

6) Driving a Prius

7) Putting sports above people and God

8) Long hair......really? Why do men want to be mistaken for a woman??

9) Capri pants.... just no.....

10) Porn - we are better than that

11) Abuse

12) Bullying

13) Hiding feelings

14) Refusing to cry

15) Putting the toilet seat back down - come on, let's stand up for ourselves!

16) Sex before marriage - yeah, that is God's design and intent. You can live without it

17) Wearing purple and pink - few guys can pull it off

18) Lusting

19) Cheating

20) Putting work before family

21) Wearing sweat pants in public - uh, no.

22) Smoking - be a real man and say no

23) Beer bellies - so not attractive dude

24) Showing crack - they do make longer shirts.....

25) Duck Dynasty beards - sure, you may want to cover up your ugly mug, but keep it short and neat

26) Comb overs - that includes Donald Trump

27) Hair pieces - you're not fooling anyone

28) Dying hair - nope, not fooling anyone here either

29) Shaving their chests - why even think about it? Be a real man and let it grow!

30) Chewing tobacco - what a nasty habit, and about as manly as sticking  your head in the sewer

31) Being self-centered

32) Being a couch potato

32) Wearing lounge pants in public - they are pajamas! Pajamas!

33) Flirting - especially if you're married

34) Playing the field - if you're not ready to eat, then quit looking at the menu

35) Bottling up tears and emotions - real men CAN cry and show emotions. Stop being a coward and just do it....it will feel good

36) Acting so tough - again, you're not fooling anyone

37) Golfing - unless you're an old man wearing ugly plaid shorts.....

38) Piercing body parts - why would any man even want to?

39) Gambling - sure, you can stop.......after you lose everything

40) Drinking excessively - if you must drink, stay sober and don't waste the entire paycheck

41) Unbuttoning shirts several buttons - is it that hard to breathe with more buttons buttoned?

42) Wearing bling - ugh

43) Doing drugs - yeah, even marijuana. Be a man and just say no

44) Cursing - it shows a limited vocabulary and does not impress at all

45) Riding motorcycles - it isn't safe, and why risk your life and leave behind family just to ride one

46) Wearing ties - it is time to revolt....besides, a woman probably invented them to torture men

47) Opening your wife or girlfriend's car door - she can do it herself

48) Being henpecked - you know who you are

49) Voting for liberals

50) Throwing your clothes on the floor - pick up!

Thursday, June 23, 2016

Pet peeves, First edition

 When I was a kid, we often got the Grit newspaper. One of my favorite sections in it was a small section of "pet peeves". For some reason, I found them interesting and entertaining.

 I can't believe I have been blogging as long as I have and have never done a blog on pet peeves..... so no better time than now:

1) Music artists who put out a "best of" CD and put a Christmas song on it. Who wants to hear a Christmas song when it isn't Christmas, and who is going to put the CD in at Christmas to listen to the one Christmas song? They always get skipped by me.

2) Women who breastfeed who think they have a right to do it in public and seem to intentionally do so to rub it in people's faces.

3) Taco Bell's common practice of coming out with something I really like, and then discontinuing it.

4) People who tell me if I don't vote for Donald Trump, I am voting for Hillary Clinton. What alternate reality are they living in?!

5) Preachers who take an hour or more to say what they could have said in 30 minutes.

6) "Watch for motorcycles" signs and bumper stickers....if you drive a less safe vehicle, you are the one mainly responsible for your safety....not the people driving safer vehicles.

7) People who are consistently late for church. Come on, it starts at the same time every week.

8) Women who think they have to do everything men do.

9) Forcing kids to play sports they are not good at and do not like.

10) People referring to themselves as "mommy" or "daddy" to an animal

11) Semi truck drivers who insist on passing a vehicle and takes forever to do it while I am held up behind them

12) Complaints about political posts....guess they don't want to be informed.

13) Having the tip taken out automatically at a restaurant.....just happened on vacation for the first time for me, and I did not like it.

14) Laxer rules and requirements for motocrcyles than for cars

15) Having to always ask for mayonaise to be left off a sandwich....... that is something that should not come automatically.

16) Getting someone who can barely speak English when calling customer service.

17) Smokers who throw their cigarette butts everywhere as if they have a special right to litter

18) The extremely loud music at Texas Roadhouse

19) People who think it is their business why a person is still single or childless

20) Guys who wear earrings

21) People who have tattoos and have an attitude about anyone who doesn't like tattoos

22) Facebook friends who only comment when they disagree with you

23) Winter, cold, and snow

24) Parents who put their kids through a divorce and custody battle

25) Telemarketers

26) People who come to the Emergency Department for tooth aches and other minor things that are not emergencies

27) Drivers that pull out in front of me even though there are no vehicles behind me

28) King James Version only people who are too dogmatic

29) Attempts to guilt me into doing something

30) People who walk around in public talking on their cell phones with the phone on speaker so you get to hear both sides of the conversation

Wednesday, June 22, 2016

I climbed a lighthouse

  While on vacation two weeks ago, I did something for the first time: I climbed a lighthouse.... 258 steps, 193 feet high. That may not seem like a big deal to most people, but it was a big deal to me. I am afraid of heights....very afraid. At the hospital where I work, there is a balcony on the second floor overlooking the main lobby. I can climb the steps to it, but I cannot go to the railing and look over. I start getting dizzy and nauseous..... and that is just one floor. The Cape Hatteras lighthouse is the equivalent of 12 stories.

 There have been things I missed out in life because of my fear. I always wanted to climb the fire tower at Cook's Forest, PA; but could never get above the first landing. I watched as others climbed to the top and envied them. On vacation one year, we visited the Mason's building in Alexandria, VA. There were places where you could get walk out on balconies way up on this high building.......but I couldn't do it. And now I was going to climb something higher than that....at least the steps for the lighthouse are inside....

I paid to do this?!

  As I paid the $8.00 for my ticket, I found myself questioning my sanity. I felt like they should be paying me to climb it, and a lot more than $8.00. I stood in line and listened to the do's and don'ts of climbing. And then the climb began. By the time I was halfway, my legs were killing me. I kept climbing and didn't look down..... and finally we were at the top. The doorway to the outside platform was in front of me. I paused for a moment, wondering if I could really do this,,,, then I stepped out onto the platform.

  The view was breathtaking...or maybe it was the reality of being that high up in the air with just a railing between me and a 193 foot drop that took my breath. I somewhat shakily moved to the side while leaning my back against the top of the lighthouse. Gripping my cell tightly as if I feared it was going to jump off the railing, I started snapping pictures. My nieces leaned on the railing for some pictures, then wanted me in one.....tossing all sanity to the wind, I moved slowly to the railing and put my back to it for some pictures,,, and I survived. I did not walk to the railing and look down, but looked out across the land below and took pictures.

                                (My nieces and I at the top)

  The descent was much easier than climbing, As I descended, I felt a sense of pride and accomplishment. I had conquered a fear of heights and did something I never thought I'd do. Would I do it again? Most likely yes.

  The experience has stuck with me. I truly did conquer a fear of mine by climbing that lighthouse, and discovered it was worth it and it wasn't as bad as I expected. As I have thought about that, it has made me wonder how many others of my fears may be a bit irrational and wouldn't be as bad as I thought they may be. My list of fears is rather long:

My fears:

1) Snakes

2) Drowning

3) Passing a truck full of logs and having the logs fall on my car crushing me (I remember hearing about that happening to someone when I was a kid)

4) A Hillary presidency

5) A Trump presidency

6) Growing old

7) Growing old alone

8) Liberal policies

9) Driving on winter roads

10) Mice......yeah, that is weird for a guy

11) Of never finding my place in life

12) Of biting into something with mayonnaise on it

13) That the chicken at the Chinese restaurant might not really be chicken

14) Taking a chance

15) Of existing rather than living

16) Of having our freedoms taken away

17) Of my entire family dying and leaving me all alone

18) Dogs

19) Getting sprayed by a skunk

20) Falling down the steps and breaking something

21) Of people seeing the real me

22) Bleeding to death while on blood thinners

23) Of meeting a drunk driver on the road

24) Of never making a difference

25) Of making friends

26) Of hitting another deer with my car

27) The front of the church

28) Singing in front of the church

29) Totally trusting God

30) Muslims

31) Ultra masculine guys

32) Telling people what I truly feel

33) Failure

34) Disappointing people

35) Dying in a house fire

36) Getting cancer

37) Getting Alzheimers

38) Getting a disease named after me

39) Falling off a cliff - ironic since I have rarely been near any in my life

40) Of living life in a rut

41) Of choking to death

42) Walking through the woods for fear of running across a snake

43) Lightning (who would take pictures of lightning anyway?)

44) Having a stroke or heart attack

45) Driving between concrete barriers on the highway

46) Of looking stupid

47) My outfit not matching

48) Sending a friend request on Facebook

49) Fear of getting germs from the faucet handles or door handles in a public bathroom (love the automated ones!)

50) Fears of semi trucks beside me on the four lane

51) Fear of what people truly think of me.

52) Job interviews

53) Homelessness

54) Starting new jobs

55) Dying from lack of oxygen while wearing a tie. (Not really.....I made that one up. But it COULD happen.......)

   And I could go on. A lot of those fears are irrational - well,  the snake one isn't - and some are rational, but reading that rather ridiculous list - if anyone actually reads them - is proof I have let fear rule my life. If I could conquer the fear of climbing a 193 foot lighthouse - which I didn't pray about ( I was too busy wondering what on earth I was thinking and if I could get a refund if I couldn't go the whole way) - what could I conquer by truly surrendering my fears to Him and asking Him to help me conquer them.... well some of them. I will keep the one about snakes.

 But seriously, I wonder where I would be if I had not let fear rule me all of these years..... and how much better life could have been if I had surrendered them to God and trusted Him more.

 The good news is it isn't too late... I can start now..... and so can we all.