Thoughts of a messed up Christian saved by God's grace

Sunday, August 12, 2012

Beating depression and becoming someone I like

It has taken me a while, but I am finally getting a handle on this depression thing. If someone has never dealt with depression, it is hard to understand. I still haven't arrived, but I am making a lot of progress.

One of my biggest problems with depression is negative thinking. I had become a very negative person, and it was showing. But I was even more negative inside, and was listening to the lies of the devil. I have been working on ignoring those lies and listening instead to the people in my life who are telling me good things such as that I can find a better job, that I am capable of doing more, that I am a good worker, etc. I have made a deliberate decision to be more positive in my thinking and interactions with people and to be more thankful.

I have set some goals. I had a goal in mind for an amount to have in my checking account. I finally hit it, and passed it up by $300. I am still adding to it. My goal is when I do get a better job, that I will have enough cash in my savings that I can easily pay a first months rent and the desposit on an apartment, and moving expenses,  and still have some left.

Another goal: weight loss. I was up to 235, and was 209 as of this morning. I have bascially changed eating habits and am walking some, and it is slowly coming off. I haven't reached my goal yet on that, 24 more pounds to go, but it feels great to have come this far.

And another goal: becoming someone that I like. That may sound weird, but for way too long, I have not liked myself. I know my faults more than anyone, and though I may not be able to change everything about myself I don't like, there is a lot that I CAN change, and am working on. I won't list everything here, as some of that stuff is between me and me ;-) - but I will list a couple, and I pretty much already did: my weight, and my negativity.

Life still isn't hunky dory. I want my own place so bad, and a better job, but I am thankful for what I have. And I feel my current job has been good for me in some ways. My boss, the store owner, is a jerk. No way to sugar coat it. He goes off way too easily on people, and everyone is on egg shells around him, but I was just thinking the me of a few years ago would have quit by now, or lashed back and most likely got fired. I can't wait for the day that I can give my 2-week notice, but I do have to admit it has helped me in some ways.

There are some other changes I feel I need to make, but those need to be worked on when I do have my own place.

I still need a lot of work and though I have changed some things, there is still room for improvement in those areas, but I can honestly say that I am liking the guy in the mirror a little more than I used to.

If you're reading this post, I would ask your prayers that I do find a better job soon. I would really like to be in my own place before winter sets in.

Monday, August 6, 2012

Supporting Chik fil a

By now everyone should know about the Chik fil a gay controversy. In a nutshell, the owner came out and stated that he believes in the Biblical definition of marriage: one man and one woman. He faced a tremendous backlash from liberals with some mayors going so far as to say they would make sure a franchise would never open in their city, something the ACLU said they could not do (surprising from that evil organization). A day was set to support Chik fil a, and record numbers were out on that day.

This was not about people being against gay marriage - though many who showed up in support are against it. It was about free speech. I heard one man who went is a guy that regularly supports gay causes financially and is for same-sex marriage. But, he is also a business owner and he was disgusted by the attempts to hurt a restaurant chain because some people didn't agree with the owner.

I think the outpouring of support was great, but it got me to thinking. Why don't we regularly support Christian businesses. This stand by the owner of Chik fil a shouldn't surprise anyone. They are known as being Christian-owned. They are even closed on Sundays, which may not impress the countless Christians who have  shop and eat out on Sundays........ but it impresses me. They honor the Sabbath and don't force their employees to work on Sundays. They support great Christian causes and organizations. We shouldn't just turn out on one day in support, we should regularly support them.

And there are others. There used to be a publication in my area called The Shepherd's Guide. It listed Christian businesses and Christian-owned businesses in the area. A great idea. Not sure if it still exists, but it should. We need to support other Christians. We can't stop shopping at every store whose policies we disagree with, though sometimes we should when they get too outrageous (i.e. JC Penny and their gay father's day and mother's day ads). If we didn't shop anywhere that we disagreed with the policies and who they support, we wouldn't have anywhere to shop. However, we can and should support businesses that we know are Christian-owned. So what if it costs a little more or takes a little more effort. It would be a good thing.

I didn't make it to Chik fil a on the day of support. I was on vacation and the one we drove by had cars waiting to get into the parking lot, and people lined up around the building waiting to get in, and we were on a time constraint. But I plan on eating there soon on my own support Chik fil a day.

Yes, it is great to rally around a person or business like that when they are attacked for doing right, but it is also great to regularly support them. We should. They are our brothers and sisters in Christ.