Thoughts of a messed up Christian saved by God's grace

Thursday, April 26, 2012

Work and life

I am feeling pretty frustrated with my job - and life. I will never be full time where I am at, and am tired of being forced to work Sundays. But I don't know where to go from here. I feel so unskilled, and to be honest - stupid, when it comes to what I can do. I have worked retail too much, but retail doesn't pay much and makes you work Sundays. The more I think and worry about where to apply, the more frustrated and depressed I get. Yeah, still dealing with depression, just some days are better than others, and most of the time I have a better handle on it than I used to.

There are other things about my job I don't like, but let me just say I really need to get out of there.

Most recent work crisis: vacation. My parents, my youngest sister and her family, and I are going to Gatlinburg, TN in June. Orginally, they planned and scheduled for the third week in June, but found a better house and cheaper to rent, so we moved it to the first week in June. They lost $30 since they canceled the other place we were going to stay, so all is cool. Wrong.

My manager texted me today and said to call her regarding my vacation..... informed me we are not allowed to take vacations during the first of the month since we are busiest then..... but said she'd talk to the store owner. I don't feel too confident, and don't like the options if he says no. My parents said they are not changing it again, and I don't blame them. I really don't want to stay here and work while the rest of the family vacations..... my other sister is going to the Outer Banks the same week.

Other option: take my weeks vacation next month as soon as I can get it, and give my 2-week notice at work so my last day is at the end of May, go on vacation, come back, and start looking hard and heavy for a new job. Scary option, but I need to get out of my current job anyway.

My best friend tells me my views of my lack of skills, etc, is wrong and just wrong perception on my part......  he may be right, but that doesn't change my lack of self confidence..... I honestly feel I need a job that any idiot could do, but that pays enough that I could get my own place again. This stuff frustrates me, and really is nothing new. As far back as I can remember, I felt this way and only applied at jobs where I felt I wouldn't fail...... which are not many.

I'd definitely appreciate prayer about my job situation.

Update: vacation crisis averted, but I still need a better job