If you love me

  For most of my life, I struggled to believe God loves me. I'd have times when I thought I believed it, only to doubt it the minute He didn't answer a prayer the way I wanted, or didn't act in ways I expected Him to act. I finally got a point just 2 years ago this December that I came to a point that I have a firm belief that He loves me. It took a lot of prayer, reading books about God's love, listening to songs about God's love, and really working at it, but I finally got there. I still have slight doubts once in a while, which is human, but I have managed to keep the belief that God loves me since December of 2013.

  So I got that question of God's love for me resolved, but the reverse has been bothering me: Do I love God, and how does one love God? I have heard people tell of loving God, but I am not sure I am there yet. I am thankful for what He has done for me and in my life, but does that equal loving Him?

  I read a verse a while back that partially answers the question. John 14:15 and a couple of other verses in the Bible says that if we love God, we will keep His commandments. But I thought we were under law and didn't have to keep His commandments.....or so some Christians say.

  But is that all there is to it? If I love God, I'll keep His commandments? I keep rules and laws of the state and government, and where I work, but I don't love those people.

  Maybe it is how or why we keep His commandments that is the gauge of our love for Him.

  After they were married, a man handed his new wife a list of what he expected of her. They had an extremely unhappy marriage, and his list of demands were a sore spot and a dread for her their whole married life. He eventually died and she remarried. Several years later, she ran across the list her first husband had made, and realized with surprise that she was doing everything on the list with her second husband. Since she loved this husband and he loved her, she did them out of love and didn't find them a dread.

  We live in times where Christians don't want to follow God's commands unless it is convenient. Everyone wants a chapter and verse, and even when they have one, they interpret it so they can do what they want.

 We dress how we want, show as much skin as we want, do whatever we want to our bodies, listen to the music we want, indulge in whatever entertainment we want..... and never try to live our lives around God and His Word.  Instead, we try to make the Bible fit into our lives and our desires. If you dare suggest something might not be good for a Christian to do, you're called judgmental, weird, or worse....... and that is by other Christians. There are enough verses in the Bible too many of us ignore, twist, or re-interpret to fit how we want to live......we aren't interested in what God wants if it might cramp our lifestyle or inconvenience us in some way.

  I am speaking to myself also, but if we love God, His commands should not be a bother to us. We shouldn't be looking for loopholes or trying to get by with as little as we can, or seeing how close we can get to the edge without falling over. Can we really love God if we are continually trying to get around what the Bible says, trying to excuse why we aren't doing what the Bible says, or going by what man says instead of the what the Bible says? Is it possible we love ourselves more than God if we are more concerned with how much we can get away with and still be a Christian than with trying to live as close to God's Word as we can?

I'm not married, but I know enough about love and marriage to know this: If a couple is truly in love, they will for the most part try to do things that pleases their spouse and try not to do things their spouse does not like. And we do it for others in our lives. We don't have to have a written command from a spouse, other relative, or friend for us to do things that they like. But when it comes to God, the one who sent His Son to die for us....... we have to have it in black and white for us to do or not do...... and even then, that isn't enough for some people.

  The guy struggling with same-sex attractions wearies of the battle, and decides God must be OK with it, and lives a sinful lifestyle while ignoring God's commands.....because it is too inconvenient to obey God in that area.

  Many guys serving God want long hair, but there is that pesky verse in 1 Corinthians that says "does not nature itself teach you that it is a shame for a man to have long hair...... so they decide that verse was just intended for that day, or it was Paul's idea, or that Jesus had long hair so it is OK - after all, He has long hair in the pictures.... so they ignore or explain away that verse (Ironically, the same arguments for men to have long hair are some of the same ones the pro-gay crowd uses to make homosexuality OK with God).

  We all do it. There are a multitude of verses that we could use to find how God wants us to live, but we want what we want.

  I'm guilty of it, and I am not alone.

  So maybe this loving God and keeping His commandments is truly a gauge of our love, and not proof of our love. If we truly love God, we are going to delight in His commandments. If we truly love Him, we will read a verse like the one above, and it will influence our entire life. We will go to watch a movie, and think "God may be displeased by my watching that", and we will not watch it. We will read verses in the Bible and instead of trying to excuse it away, take it to heart so we can please God. We will read something in the Bible and not find it grievous or a burden.

  To love God, I need to find out what pleases Him, and do it..... but not out of duty or dread, but with an intense desire to live up to what He wants for me, and make my life more pleasing to Him.

Is there a chapter and verse for that?

  There was an article on Facebook this week about tattoos that go away after a couple of weeks. I glanced at the comments and one stood out. Evidently someone had posted something negative about Christians having tattoos, for this person was demanding a chapter and verse that says that Christians cannot have tattoos.

  We have gotten to a place that most too many of we Christians believe it has to be in black and white in the Bible for us to do it or not do it. There is a word for that: legalism. We tend to look at the Amish, Mennonites, and anyone else who have a lot of outward rules as legalistic... and it can be legalistic to just blindly follow the rules of a church or religious organization and never questioning anything or getting God's will instead of the church's.

  But it can also be legalism to just follow the rules of the Bible and believe we can do whatever else we want if the Bible doesn't specifically say not to do it. The definition of legalism I found says this:

strict adherence, or the principle of strict adherence, to law or prescription, especially to the letter rather than the spirit.

  The Bible is so much more than a rule book. It is God's love letter to us, and is a guidebook for us to follow as we journey through life. It is a book we can go to for anything in our life and find principles to help us know what to do in pretty much any situation. I firmly believe that though not everything is spelled out in "thou shalt nots", the Bible is clear enough for us to know whether something is right or wrong for us to do. If we truly want to know.

  We live too much for "me". It is our right to do this or that. And we will argue with and put down anyone who dares to suggest that a Christian should not do a certain thing. It doesn't help that the church is only 10 years or less behind the world. Whatever fad, habit, sin, or whatever else the world is doing now, the church will be doing in a few years. There are things that were once taboo and wrong to even good people who were not Christians that Christians are fighting for the right to do today.

We wear - or don't wear -  what we want to wear

We view what we want to view

We entertain ourselves however we want to

We talk how we want to talk.

  It is all about me, me, me, and me. One would think that for too many of us, we are the lord and god of our lives and it is all about making the god of me happy and satisfied.

  I have a friend I got into a discussion about modesty. I strongly believe the Bible has principles of modesty and that there is a limit to how much skin we should show. One of those reasons I brought out was we should not dress in ways that will cause others to lust. We are commanded to not do anything to trip our brother up, and though that can be taken too far most of us don't take that at all. This friend told me in no uncertain terms that "there is no way I am going to let some guy's lust problem dictate how I am going to dress!" She, and others insist it is all on the man. It is his fault if the way a woman (or man) is dressed causes him problems, and none of the fault lies with the person who is dressed in ways to cause lust.

  This is not a post about modesty, so I will go on a rabbit trail with that, but think about those statements for a minute. Is it really true that we can dress like a Vicoria's Secret model or a Chippendale dude, and if a Christian brother or sister is tripped up, tempted, and has more problems controlling his lust.... that it is all on them? That we are guiltless because we have a right do dress how we want and to show as much skin as is legally allowed? Now some people are going to struggle with lust if people were covered head to toe, but tight clothes, revealing clothes, low necklines, short shorts, halter tops, no shirt, etc. are going to be more tempting than someone dressed decently. Is it truly following the spirit of that verse about not causing a brother to fall if we are dressing in ways that may likely cause him to fall?

  And granted, the offending your brother could be taken too far, but if we are honest most of us don't take that verse at all. We do what we want and live how we want with no regard to how we might affect a weaker brother or sister.

  A few months ago, a popular book was made into a movie. 50 Shades of Grey was the thing to see. I watched the movie trailer to see what the fuss was about, and that was enough for me to know that anyone who truly wants to keep their mind pure should not see it..... yet many Christians did and hotly defended their right to see it and poo-pooed anyone who dared suggest it wasn't something anyone should see. To me, it was pornography. Not all pornography has total nudity or visual sex acts.

  But the Bible doesn't say we can't watch 50 Shades of Grey...... But it does say not to set any wicked thing before our eyes. It does say to think on what is pure, good, of good report, etc... It does say to look lustfully on a woman (or man) is to commit adultery in our hearts, and I am sure there was lust involved as people watched a beautiful scantily clad woman tied up and abused by a virile shirtless hunky man.

The Bible doesn't say "thou shalt not do heroin, cocaine, marijuana, meth, etc.".... yet even non-Christians know the dangers and would scoff at the idea of Christians doing drugs. We just know it isn't something anyone should do, but especially Christians.

  There is no verse in the Bible that says we should not hurt animals, yet one cannot believe and read the Bible and not know that a Christian should not mistreat an animal.

  I could go on and on with examples of things we know Christians can't do. Granted, too many are twisting Scripture to excuse behaviors and things that would inconvenience them, so even if everything was in black and white in the Bible there are people who would worm around it.

  But if we truly love God. If we truly are taking up a cross, denying ourselves, and following Him....we won't find his commands difficult. We won't try to twist Scripture to suit our purposes. We will make our lives fit into His will, not make His will fit into our lives.

  I believe 100% that God cares about what kind of music we listen to, how we dress, how we spend our time, what kind of movies or TV shows we watch, what kind of language we use, what we put on our bodies or do to our bodies..... if we truly care to get His will and opinion on those things.

  The Bible is full of verses we can apply to our lives and how God wants us to live in every area of our lives... if we want that. If we want God's will and not our own, and truly want Him to be the Lord and God of our lives and not for us to be god.

  I heard a story once that comes to mind as I was typing this blog post: After a couple got married, the husband presented his wife with a list of his expectations and from her that he wanted in their married life. There was a lot on the list, and she found it a burden that caused her to resent her husband. The result was a very unhappy marriage. After her husband's death, she eventually remarried. After she had been married to this second man for a while, she ran across the hated list from her first husband. As she glanced down over his list of demands, she realized with surprise that she was doing everything on the list for her second husband, but didn't mind it at all and did not find it a burden. The difference was it was not demanded of her and there was mutual love and respect so she found herself willingly doing those things out of love.

  If we truly love God, we are not going to need a chapter and verse that spells everything out. We will daily seek His will and weed out things in our lives that we feel may displease Him. It may mean not watching some movies, wearing some clothes, not following some fads, and not doing some things that it seems all other Christians are doing. But we aren't meant to please and be like other Christians. We are to please and be like Jesus.

Devotion

  I just read a book. That in itself is no earth shattering news, as I read a lot of books. However, this book was one of those that grabbed me and just about beat me over the head with a message. The book is a romance novel, and I don't normally read romance unless it is romantic suspense, and someone is trying to murder someone in it..... but this book sounded good, and I had the chance to review it, so I requested it.

 The plot is this:

Christian Music agent Kellen Rossiter has everything he ever wanted: A-list clients from coast to coast, a loving wife who honors and respects him, and a faith life that’s never wavered—until now. Juliet Rossiter has the perfect life: a rewarding schedule serving the underprivileged, a husband who loves her as Christ loved the church, and a blessed future as a mother—at least that's what she thinks. For Better or Worse But what happens when their rock-solid marriage begins to crumble under the weight of an unexpected and powerful temptation? How does love survive when its foundation is shaken? When human frailty and the allure of sin deal a harsh blow to their relationship, it will take more than love to mend the shattered trust and heartbreak. It will take a lifetime of devotion.

   The dates are coming up when I need to post a review of the book, and since the snow kept me in today, I started reading it, and kept reading it. The story is fictional, but is a story that happens all of the time. A couple starts drifting away from each other, a beautiful woman or man comes into the picture, and someone breaks their marriage vows. This isn't the book review, but it really is a great book.

 The guy in the book didn't mess up out of the blue. He started skipping church, not spending time in prayer and Bible reading, and when temptation hit, he was an easy mark. Although the story is about a couple working through infidelity to forgiveness, devotion, and restoration of their marriage, there is also another them in the book that stuck out to me: devotion to God.

  The author may have intentionally written the book that way, but the story seemed to me a picture of the Christian and God, or God and me to be more exact. I found myself thinking about my relationship with God as I read the book, and the question kept coming to my mind "Am I truly devoted to God?"

  Today is Superbowl Sunday. I'm not watching it, nor having a Superbowl party. I hate the sport, don't understand it, and don't understand how people can be so excited about watching a game that has teams they don't normally follow. Besides, I don't think that is the best way to keep the Sabbath holy, but that is beside the point..... obviously, people who are watching the game today, in spite of the fact they don't follow either team, are very devoted to the sport. They will set everything aside this evening so they can watch a bunch of guys throw a weird shaped ball and chase each other and knock each other down. Some will skip church to watch. Some will skip work to watch. Many will set aside their families so they can watch. They are devoted to the sport called football. Today, nothing else matters.

  And yet, too many of us, myself included, have a hard time fitting God into our day and life. We can't set much of anything aside for Him. Oh, we go to church on Sunday and maybe Sunday evening if our church has evening services.

  We flirt with the world and temptations. We have God as our heavenly Father, and an audience with Him any time of the day and night, yet we constantly fill our time and life with things of the world that drain us and cause our love for God to wane. We cheat on Him constantly by getting too close to the world and living too close to the edge where we could fall off into giving into temptation and sin.

 In the book, the wife had a hard time forgiving her husband for his act of infidelity..... God isn't like that. He instantly forgives, and doesn't hold back forgiveness until He feels better about it or feels He can trust us again, It is the best relationship we can ever have in this life, and too many of us are careless and don't work at our part enough. God always does  His part. Sadly, we don't always.

  Life has dealt me a deck that has made me a bachelor for life. I'll never vow to love and cherish a woman at the front of a church with family looking on. That isn't always an easy thing to handle, but a relationship with God is so much better than any love we have here. Even between a husband and wife.

  And yet I have messed that up so many times. I've cheated on God and on my time with Him. I have served Him with one eye looking longingly at what I know I shouldn't want and cannot have if I am to truly serve Him. I have made vows, and then broken them. Yet He always forgives. He willingly forgives.

  Hosea is a story of a prophet God commanded to marry a prostitute. She of course was not faithful to Hosea and he had to go buy her back after her life of sin put her on the auction block. It was to be a picture of God and Israel, but it is a picture of all who wander from God and are unfaithful. I want to be faithful and devoted. It is great for a couple to be devoted and faithful to each other, and that is how it should be. It is far greater and more important to be faithful and devoted to God, the lover of our soul, the lover who is always loves, forgives, and is faithful no matter how unfaithful we may be.

The reason for being a Christian

 

 I'm not exactly what you'd call a deep thinker, but I occasionally wander into deep thoughts of some sort. There is something I have been thinking about for quite a while, and I posted a question about it in a Facebook group I am a member of. I don't ascribe to the beliefs of Calvinism, that once you become a Christian, there is nothing you can do to miss Heaven, and that we sin daily. Now this is not a blog post about that, but I will say I still don't believe that, but neither do I believe salvation is as easy to lose as some of the preachers I heard while growing up have made it to be.

 I asked the question, "if it is true that once we become Christians, there is nothing we can do to miss Heaven, and that we sin daily, then why should I fight my sin? Why not give in and have that be my daily sin?"

  I got some well thought out replies that although no one convinced me that Calvinism is right, they gave me great food for thought and some points that I could agree with. One of the replies came from a man I became friends with through the group and that I also had the privilege to meet in person: " imo Christians have done a disservice to themselves in making achieving heaven the *main* goal of our earthly life. Eternal life is a gift from God provided to those who have accepted into their lives the sacrifice of Jesus' death and resurrection for their sins. Would you choose to follow Jesus if eternal life were not a benefit? But Father put us on earth mainly to love, honor, and serve Him." (Daniel Mingo)

   And he is correct. If one could put all of the sermons together I heard over the years from Sunday morning and evening services at church and Sunday School lessons, to revival and camp meeting services, and examine them for the reason for serving God and being a Christian, I believe the person examining them would come up with the hypothesis that the reason we become Christians and live for God, is so we can make it to Heaven.

  Back to Calvinism for a minute. I can see weaknesses in it, and no one has been able to give a good answer to a question I have put to them about eternal security, but there are also weaknesses in Arminianism (that is what you most likely are if you are not Calvinist).

 There is a reason I tend to avoid most revival services and camp meetings. I like my pastor. I may not agree with my church and him on everything, but he has never been one to badger and tell scary stories to get people to go to the altar. He has never preached a Gospel that makes it sound like Heaven is the reason for being a Christian. However, most of the preachers that have preached a Gospel that caused me problems, have been the ones who I heard in camp meetings and revival services. They helped to cause thinking such as:

1) God is just waiting for me to mess up so He can wipe my name out of the Book of Life.

2) Heaven is the ultimate goal, and my chances of getting there are so slim, that I most likely won't make it.

3) I can never be good enough to please God or cause Him to love me

4) Every day is a constant battle to stay on the road to Heaven

5) If I mess up and sin, I have to beg God to take me back. This involves a long prayer and lots of tears. And I must confess my sins out loud at the altar.

  Now to be clear, not every preacher I have sat under contributed to those ideas, but a lot of them have. And though I firmly believe one can walk away from God, can live a life of sin and miss Heaven,  I have come to believe it isn't as easy as some of these preachers had made me think it is to miss Heaven.

 And I have come to realize that Heaven shouldn't be the main goal, the reason for serving Jesus, the reason for choosing right over wrong, the reason to stick out in a world where the majority of people think you're weird for not living for oneself.

 I am realizing being a Christian is to live for Jesus and please Him. He left Heaven, lived as a human being for 33 years, then allowed Himself to be tortured and killed in a horrible way so we could be saved from the wrath of God. We should serve Him for at least the reason to thank Him for that. If a person saved our life, we would be thankful to them forever and most likely spend the rest of our life showing them.

 We are here to serve Him, to preach the Gospel, to win others to Him, to be light in a dark world. We aren't here to sit back and wait for Heaven. Heaven should be the icing on the cake, not the cake itself. If there was no Heaven to go to, we should still love God enough for what He has done, that we would still serve Him and live to please Him. 

 If we are serving Jesus to avoid hell, we are doing it for the wrong reason. If we avoid sin out of fear of missing Heaven, we are avoiding sin for the wrong reasons. Jesus is so much more than a "get out of hell free" card.

  Christianity is about a relationship with the God of the universe. I am not married, but I know enough about marriage to know that if a couple loves each other, they will do things to please the other out of that love. They don't daily do things for the other out of a fear that the other person will divorce them and kick them out of the marriage and out of their lives.

  I can't imagine having friends who do things for me and hang out with me out of fear that I will stop being their friend if they don't do everything exactly right.

  So why do so many of us have that kind of a relationship with Jesus?

  I believe whether we are Calvinist or Arminian in doctrine, we should live daily trying to please God and avoid sin, not out of any fear of hell, but because we love Jesus and don't want to hurt Him by sinning against Him. And if we sin, ask for forgiveness. If we live like that, it may not matter if we are Calvinist or Arminian.

  However, if the Calvinist figures he may as well do whatever he wants and whatever feels good, he has it wrong. If the Arminian lives in daily fear that God is going to get the white out and wipe his name out of the book of life, he has it wrong.

  It is all about a relationship and loving the other person in that relationship. In this case, the other person is Jesus Christ, and He died for all of us. That should be reason enough to serve and love Him. Heaven? It will be a wonderful place to go to, but not the reason for being a Christian.

Loving God, loving each other

  

  There's a song one of my favorite groups, The Gaither Vocal Band, recorded back around 1997, Loving God, Loving Each Other:

Loving God, loving each other,
Making music with my friends;
Loving God, loving each other,
And the music never ends.

They pushed back from the table
To listen to His words,
His secret plan before He had to go.
It's not complicated;
Don't need a lot of rules,
This is all you'll need to know.

Loving God, loving each other,
Making music with my friends;
Loving God, loving each other,
And the music never ends.

We tend to make it harder,
Build steeples out of stone,
Fill with explanations of The Way,
But if we'd stop and listen
And break a little bread,
We would hear the Master say

Loving God, loving each other,
Making music with my friends;
Loving God, loving each other,
And the music never ends.  

  It seems rather simplistic, does it not? Just love God and each other. But love is what it is all about.

  God created Adam and Eve, and gave them something He didn't have to: choice. He loved mankind so much, and wanted them to love Him, that He didn't want robots. So He gave them choice. Adam and Even blew it of course, and sin entered the world.

 To keep people in line, God made some rules. A lot of rules. And then He did something that doesn't make sense. He sent His Son to die on a cross for the sins of the world. Because God so loved.

 Jesus was once asked what the greatest commandment was, and He said what the song I mentioned said. To love God with all of your heart and love your neighbor as yourself.

  I grew up in a church with a lot of rules. And I'd go to camp meetings and revival services and hear even more. A former pastor of my church, before my time, preached from the pulpit telling the congregation to not shop at the local Christian bookstore. Why? They sold Christian rock, which he was against.

  I've run across some people who seem proud of what they are against, which is sad. Christians should be known for what we are for, not for what we are against.

  For most of my life, Christianity has been done the opposite of what the song says. It has been complicated. I tried keeping the rules, and felt pretty good about myself, but inside I was a mess. I had my secret sin and struggle, but as long as I looked the part, I tried to convince myself I was OK.

  I constantly doubted God's love and wondered how I could ever live up to the high standard that had been set. The message I got was that it was nearly impossible to get into Heaven, and that no matter how hard I tried to be a Christian, I'd most likely miss it in the end due to some minor thing.

 Not all preachers made me feel that way, including my current one. It was usually the evangelist that came for revival or camp meeting services. They seemed intent on scaring as many people to the altar as possible.

  I felt I had to work to convince God to forgive me, and He was just waiting for me to mess up so He could toss me out on my ear.

 I tried and tried to serve God and failed so often. I was trying to be religious and serve God without believing He loved me, and I was in more bondage than the people who had never served God.

 I have come to realize its not about rules. Christianity is more than a bunch of do's and don'ts. It is a relationship with God. I am starting to care less what people think about me, and care about what God thinks of me. He loves me. I'm finally getting that, and I want to please Him, not my church, not my family, not anyone else.

  It is as simple as loving God and loving others.

  But on the flip side of Christianity not being a bunch of rules, we cannot ignore the fact that God still has rules and guidelines. And we aren't free to do whatever we want.

  I see two extremes from where I sit. There is the extreme that our church has to tell us what we can and cannot do, because we can't get our own beliefs from God. The other, is we can do anything we want. We are not under the law, but under grace.

  However, if we truly love God, we are going to seek His will on things. There should be some things we don't do because we are a Christian and we are better off not dressing a certain way, watching certain movies, listening to certain kinds of music, etc. We should not be bound by rules, but we should also not see how close we can get to being just like the world.

  There is a common misconception that if the Bible clearly doesn't tell us not to do something, we can do it. Today almost sounds like how the book of Judges starts out "Every man did what was right in his own eyes." But there are things we are better off not doing for our spiritual well being, and for the second part of what Jesus said: loving our neighbor as ourselves.

  If we love our neighbor as ourselves, it is going to influence some things we do. We aren't going to invite  them over for a movie and show them a movie that could trip them up. We aren't going to dress in ways to tempt our Christian brothers and sisters...... I've heard a lot about the modesty issue and that it is totally the guy's fault if he battles lust with a woman dressed immodestly.... if it was YOUR son, or YOUR husband battling lust, how would you want the women working around them dressing? If you knew the guy across the street was a sex offender, how would you dress, how would you dress your daughters? Or sons. Modesty isn't just for women.

  The Bible is a guidebook. It doesn't have everything spelled out in black and white, not that it matters anymore, people find ways around it anyway - but it has principles. I don't want to do anything just because my church says to, or because my parents do it, but neither do I want to throw everything out the window and live calloused to what God might want. I want the Bible to be my guidebook. I want God's will on how I dress, what music I listen to, what I view. How I spend my money and time.

 See, if we follow what Jesus said is the two greatest commandments, we aren't going to try to get by with as much as we can.

 I'm not married, nor will I ever be, most likely. But I know if you love your wife or husband, you aren't going to try to get by with as much as you can that might pull you away from them. You will try to find out what they like and do as much to please them. The Bible says if we love Him, we will keep His commandments...... and I believe if we love Him, we won't try to get by with as much as we can. There WILL be things we don't do because we are Christians, but what we don't do should never define us, it should never be our religion.

 One of the biggest traps we can get in, is trying to live by others' expectations and rules. I don't want to do that anymore. I want to serve God out of love, and do or not do certain things to please Him. Not the church.

  When I stand before God some day, He isn't going to judge me by what my church expected out of me and told me was right and wrong. He isn't going to judge me by what any man expected out of me or told me was right or wrong.  He is going to judge me by how I lived according to what He said was right and wrong.

  Jesus died on a cross for my sins. Its time I started going by what He wants, not man. If we truly love Him, it will all fall into place. He'll guide us, let us know how we should live. And if we love Him, we will love others.