Mentally Strong People: The 13 Things They Avoid, borrowed article

I ran across this and thought it was so good, I want to keep it where I can find it, so I am "borrowing" it and putting it here on my blog. I am giving it the label of depression, as avoiding  these things would be a great help with depression. Compiled by Amy Morin, written by Cheryl Conner: original article here.

1.    Waste Time Feeling Sorry for Themselves. You don’t see mentally strong people feeling sorry for their circumstances or dwelling on the way they’ve been mistreated. They have learned to take responsibility for their actions and outcomes, and they have an inherent understanding of the fact that frequently life is not fair. They are able to emerge from trying circumstances with self-awareness and gratitude for the lessons learned. When a situation turns out badly, they respond with phrases such as “Oh, well.” Or perhaps simply, “Next!”

2. Give Away Their Power. Mentally strong people avoid giving others the power to make them feel inferior or bad. They understand they are in control of their actions and emotions. They know their strength is in their ability to manage the way they respond.

3.    Shy Away from Change. Mentally strong people embrace change and they welcome challenge. Their biggest “fear,” if they have one, is not of the unknown, but of becoming complacent and stagnant. An environment of change and even uncertainty can energize a mentally strong person and bring out their best.

4. Waste Energy on Things They Can’t Control. Mentally strong people don’t complain (much) about bad traffic, lost luggage, or especially about other people, as they recognize that all of these factors are generally beyond their control. In a bad situation, they recognize that the one thing they can always control is their own response and attitude, and they use these attributes well.

5. Worry About Pleasing Others. Know any people pleasers? Or, conversely, people who go out of their way to dis-please others as a way of reinforcing an image of strength? Neither position is a good one. A mentally strong person strives to be kind and fair and to please others where appropriate, but is unafraid to speak up. They are able to withstand the possibility that someone will get upset and will navigate the situation, wherever possible, with grace.

 

6. Fear Taking Calculated Risks. A mentally strong person is willing to take calculated risks. This is a different thing entirely than jumping headlong into foolish risks. But with mental strength, an individual can weigh the risks and benefits thoroughly, and will fully assess the potential downsides and even the worst-case scenarios before they take action.

7. Dwell on the Past. There is strength in acknowledging the past and especially in acknowledging the things learned from past experiences—but a mentally strong person is able to avoid miring their mental energy in past disappointments or in fantasies of the “glory days” gone by. They invest the majority of their energy in creating an optimal present and future.

8. Make the Same Mistakes Over and Over. We all know the definition of insanity, right? It’s when we take the same actions again and again while hoping for a different and better outcome than we’ve gotten before. A mentally strong person accepts full responsibility for past behavior and is willing to learn from mistakes. Research shows that the ability to be self-reflective in an accurate and productive way is one of the greatest strengths of spectacularly successful executives and entrepreneurs.

9. Resent Other People’s Success. It takes strength of character to feel genuine joy and excitement for other people’s success. Mentally strong people have this ability. They don’t become jealous or resentful when others succeed (although they may take close notes on what the individual did well). They are willing to work hard for their own chances at success, without relying on shortcuts.

10. Give Up After Failure. Every failure is a chance to improve. Even the greatest entrepreneurs are willing to admit that their early efforts invariably brought many failures. Mentally strong people are willing to fail again and again, if necessary, as long as the learning experience from every “failure” can bring them closer to their ultimate goals.

11. Fear Alone Time. Mentally strong people enjoy and even treasure the time they spend alone. They use their downtime to reflect, to plan, and to be productive. Most importantly, they don’t depend on others to shore up their happiness and moods. They can be happy with others, and they can also be happy alone.

12. Feel the World Owes Them Anything. Particularly in the current economy, executives and employees at every level are gaining the realization that the world does not owe them a salary, a benefits package and a comfortable life, regardless of their preparation and schooling. Mentally strong people enter the world prepared to work and succeed on their merits, at every stage of the game.

13. Expect Immediate Results. Whether it’s a workout plan, a nutritional regimen, or starting a business, mentally strong people are “in it for the long haul”. They know better than to expect immediate results. They apply their energy and time in measured doses and they celebrate each milestone and increment of success on the way. They have “staying power.” And they understand that genuine changes take time. Do you have mental strength? Are there elements on this list you need more of? With thanks to Amy Morin, I would like to reinforce my own abilities further in each of these areas today. How about you?

Our God Is With Us

   Our God is uniquely different from other gods in countless ways, and one of those ways is His names. Most gods are known by one, or a few at the most. Our God, the one true God has a very long list of names.

  A lot of those names mean something different, and it seems to be His way of showing us He is whatever we need Him to be. The Old Testament alone has several different names for God, and then along came the New Testament and the birth of Jesus, and long with His birth came a whole new list of names:
Savior
Counselor
Good shepherd
Prince of Peace

  There's a chorus we used to sing at church called "He'll Be to You". It went like this:
“He’ll be to you just what you need Him to
He’ll be your Savior, a Comfort, and your Friend
He’ll be your help in time of trouble
If you’re bound, He’ll set you free
He’ll be to you what you need Him to be.”

  There are times we need a rock. Other times we need a father. He is those and so much more, and depending on where are and what we are going through, a different name may mean more to us at different times of life than others. Whatever we are going through, there is a name of God that we can latch on to and know He is there and isn't a God for just certain times and circumstances.

  Most of us probably have one name that means more to us than others. It could be because of something that happened and that one name became special, and will always remain special. Or one name may just stand out to us, as it signifies what we need most in and from God.

  I have one. Among all of the names of God, there is one that really stands out to me, and in a way encompasses most of them: Emmanuel. We hear it most at this time of the year, for it is when it became reality: God with us.

  I'm not sure why this name of God gets consigned to Christmas. Yes, Christmas is when God became flesh and for the first time, was with us...... but He still is. He's not a God who is off in Heaven watching from afar. He is here, with us. In us. Emmanuel.

  There are a lot of great names for God, but would they mean as much without this one? If God wasn't with us, would it mean as much that He was our Rock, our Shepherd, our Father? He is far and beyond any other god man has come up with in feeble attempts to worship something or someone else. Some of their gods were men and were with them briefly, and not all the time and everywhere. Our God is with us 24/7, no matter where we are, no matter where we go. He is there. With us.

  There's a Christmas song Steven Curtis Chapman wrote and recorded some years back that I love. T He captures the idea  of what Emanuel, God with us means to us:
And our God is with us, Emmanuel.
He’s come to save us, Emmanuel.
And we will never face life alone
Now that God has made Himself known,
As Father and Friend, with us through the end, Emmanuel.
 
  The line in the chorus that grabs me every time I hear it is "And we will never face life alone
Now that God has made Himself known"..... and therein may lie one of the reasons this name means so much to me: life can be lonely, especially if you're single, though single people don't have a corner on loneliness..... but if God is in our hearts, we will never face life alone. Emmanuel....... our God is with is, was with us, and will always be.

Our God Is With Us by Steven Curtis Chapman

Verse 1 One of us is cryin’ as our hopes and dreams are led away in chains,
And we’re left all alone;
One of us is dyin’ as our love is slowly lowered in the grave,
Oh and we’re left all alone.
But for all of us who journey through the dark abyss of loneliness
There comes a great announcement - we are never alone -
For the maker of each heart that breaks, the giver of each breath we take
Has come to earth and given hope it’s birth.

CHORUS
And our God is with us, Emmanuel.
He’s come to save us, Emmanuel.
And we will never face life alone
Now that God has made Himself known,
As Father and Friend, with us through the end, Emmanuel.


Verse 2
He spoke with prophets’ voices and showed Himself in a cloud of fire,
But no one had seen His face;
Until the One Most Holy revealed to us His perfect heart’s desire,
And left His rightful place;
And in one glorious moment, all eternity was shaken,
As God broke through the darkness that had kept us apart.
And with love that conquers loneliness, and hope that fills all emptiness
He came to earth to show our worth.

(chorus)


So rejoice, rejoice, Emmanuel has come!
And our God is with us, Emmanuel.
He’s come to save us, Emmanuel.
And we will never face life alone
Now that God has made Himself known,
As Father and Friend, with us through the end, Emmanuel.
Our God is with us, Emmanuel!

Keeping Christ In Christmas

Keeping Christ In Christmas

This is a re-post. I posted this a few years ago on my other blog, and decided to share it again. The ideas are not all mine, so I cannot take credit for all of them

I love Christmas! Everything about it - well, the good things. :-) Family, presents, Christmas cookies, presents, the music, presents, the lights, presents..........Seriously, there is more to it than presents. I do like to get them - who doesn't?! But I also like to give them.

A few years ago  I spoke on this subject at church. Wish I had kept my notes, but I usually threw them away after I got suckered into speaking. (I would rather speak than sing though - that is a horrid experience!) Anyway, thought I'd jot a few of those ideas down, what I can remember. Christmas is so commercialized, it is easy to get caught up in the sales and the hustle and bustle, til we forget what we are celebrating. I think Christians should celebrate Christmas like no one else on earth. It isn't about Santa, it is about our Savior being born in a manger. The TRUE Messiah. Easter is a big deal - what good would our religion be with a dead Savior, but let us not overlook Christmas. The time set aside to celebrate His birth. Without His birth, there would not have been a Calvary, or a Resurrection. Here are a few ideas of mine, and a few borrowed from a book that I have. The list is not exhaustive, but it is a start.

1) Start early, especially if you have kids. Get an advent calendar, and involve the kids in using it in the days before Christmas arrives. There are also devotionals written for Christmas, and the month preceding it. I saw one at our local Christian bookstore for either 99 cents, or a couple of bucks.

2) Among your Christmas decorations, a Nativity scene is a must. Therein lies the very reason for the Season. One of the highlights of my Christmas is putting mine out, lighting it up, and as I gaze at it, think about what that first Christmas was like. I don't get hung up on things like the wise men weren't at the manger, and things like that. I just enjoy my Nativity scene.

3) If one can afford it, it is nice to pick a family from church or your neighborhood, or even an individual, who doesn't have much, and take them some gifts, or even a cookie tray. Another neat idea is to do the 12 days of Christmas, and do it anonymously: take a small gift every day for 11 days preceding Christmas, and a larger one on Christmas day.

4) Give money once in a while to the Salvation Army. It gets old seeing them everywhere, but they do good things with the money they bring in.

5) Read Christmas stories. I have a ton - ok, a lot - of Christmas books, not all of them necessarily about the birth of Christ, but they still convey the true meaning of Christmas. Fortunately, I did manage to dig those out of storage, and will be able to enjoy them in the coming days.

6) Take in a Christmas cantata, candle light service, or some type of Christmas program. Even a play. The Christmas Carol isn't a Christian production, but it does get the meaning of Christmas out - giving.

7) Break out the Christmas music. There is a ton of good Christmas music out there. I like the occasional "Jingle Bells", "White Christmas", and some other secular tunes, but you just can't beat the ones that tell the Christmas Story. "Silent Night", "It Came Upon the Midnight Clear", and even the new ones: "It's Still the Greatest Story Ever Told", "Mary's Boy Child". Usually I break it out in September, and by mid-November, am listening to nothing but Christmas.

9) Say "Merry Christmas". I hate this trend away from calling it Christmas. It isn't "Happy Holidays", or "Xmas"( and yes, I have heard the theory about that one, but still hate to see it).

10) Family traditions. One our family had which isn't religious, but was fun, and slowed us down, was to drive around looking at the Christmas lights. There are others. The author of a book I have, "Keeping Christ In Christmas", takes his family to a candy making store to watch candy canes being made by hand. The possibilities are endless. They don't always have to be religious in nature, but a tradition that takes some of the hustle and bustle out of the season for a while.

For younger kids, a birthday party for Jesus can be a neat idea.

11) Special Christmas event. In my area,  the Columbiana Christian Church does a "Walk With Jesus", where they have scenes from Jesus' life from the Nativity to the Resurrection. I always enjoy it, and it was a great reminder of everything that Christmas was about, and beyond. If one could find something like that, or a live nativity, that is a great thing to do at Christmas.

12) Spread the joy. I have never been one to witness much, but have taken the opportunity at Christmas a couple of times. When approached or asked by a sales clerk to buy this or that, one can ask if they know what Christmas is all about - I have done it.

13) Outreach. Organizations like Operation Christmas Child, Angel Tree, Toys for Tots, and more, are good ways to give, without receiving any material thing back. Some churches have a special offering that goes to some need. Our pastor has made it a practice that people can give him money that he can pass on to someone who needs it.

14) Christmas Caroling. This may get back to my church, but that's ok. :-) I am not a fan of our modern day caroling. We pack up in vehicles and drive from place to place to sing to church members, many of them not house-bound, though some are. Whatever happened to standing on a street corner and singing to nearby houses? That is what I'd enjoy. Regardless, it is a way to keep Christ in Christmas.

15) Do an advent candle, with appropriate readings.

16) Maybe the best way of all: do some spiritual inventory. Someone once said that Christmas is based on an exchange of gifts: the Gift of God (His Son) to man, and our lives to Him. If all is not right between our soul and God, what better time could there be, than the Season that is all about Him to get things straightened out. And even if all is well, it is still a good time for some personal reflections on what His birth, and death, has done for us.

 17) Last, and definitely not least: read the Christmas Story from the Bible. It can be stretched out into a few readings, whether individually, or for the family.


And to close, the words to one of my favorite newer songs:
The Reason
Verse 1
Going back to Bethlehem, gonna' find this Baby
Looking for a manger, where the King of Kings was laid.
But I never made it to Bethlehem, I never passed a star or three wise men
I found out Baby Jesus was real, when I was distracted at Calvary's Hill.

Chorus:
And you can't get to His manger, without looking past His cross
A "No vacancy" sign at the Bethlehem Inn
But He made room for the lost.
And on your journey to find three wise men
You'll pass a crowd crying "Crucify Him"
There's just a lot whole lot more to Baby Jesus
There's the reason why He came.

Verse 2
I don't come to condemn the excitement the season brings
I'd just like to leave with you this very important thing
He's not in a manger. You won't find Him there anymore.
But if you listen closely, you'll hear a full-grown Jesus
Knocking at your heart's door.

Bridge:
The reason He came was to give life
He came to set the captive free
To bind up the broken-hearted
And give a chance to a loser like me
So while you're making memories during the holiday
Don't forget the reason Jesus came.

The Little Drummer Boy

 

A while back one of my Facebook friends posed the question: "What is your least favorite Christmas song?" He got many answers, and most people listed a handful. One that was listed several times was "The Little Drummer Boy."

 People seem to have two main reasons for not liking it: They say it isn't Scriptural (neither is Rocking Around the Christmas Tree, but I like it too)  - and the "pa rum pum pum pums" annoy them. Try listening to Johnny Cash's version and you will miss them.... I guarantee it  :-)

  I've always liked the song. Growing up, I don't remember my parents having a lot of Christmas recordings. Back then, what we did have were 8-track cassettes and records. One I do remember was the Harry Simone Choral, and it had The Little Drummer Boy on the record. I still think of those simpler and easier days when I hear the song.

  The Bible doesn't give any evidence of a drummer being at the manger, and though there most likely wasn't one, who knows for sure? And its not like a major theological issue that's going to endanger souls or split churches. Its just a cool Christmas song.

  And if we get too caught up in what we don't like about the song, we miss the point of the song. Here is what I get out of the song: We all aren't like the wise men, who brought him expensive gifts. Most of us are like the drummer boy, who don't have much to give our Savior. All he had was a song that he played on the drum. Granted, had he been for real, he most likely would have awakened the baby Jesus after Mary got him to sleep......

  All God wants is us. Our hearts. He's not impressed with big expensive things. He wants us. Our hearts, our lives, our talents. The little drummer boy only had a song to give him, so that's what he gave. His all. And that's all we have to give.

  So next time you hear The Little Drummer Boy playing, don't think about it not being Scriptural, or how the "pa rum pum pum pums" annoy you, but think about what you're going to give Jesus this year. It doesn't hurt to give Him something for His birthday. If He has your heart already, then give Him something else. Maybe like the drummer boy, all you have to give is a song. If so, do the best on it you can possibly do. He will be pleased.

  There is a great version of the song that has become popular this year, and I see even "drummer boy haters" admitting they like it. It is by an a cappella group named Pentatonix. I don't like a cappella, but this is the way it should be done:

Ragamuffins out of the closet (3 of 3)

   There is a term they have come up with when a gay person quits hiding the fact that he is gay, and announces it to the world: Coming out of the closet. They don't care who knows anymore.

  Maybe its time more people in the church, those of us who are ragamuffins, "come out of the closet". Admit what our struggle is, and that we need help.

  The devil is smart, and he has tricks and methods that have worked for centuries. I could be wrong, but I wonder if its part of his plan to cause this idea that we need to be silent about some sins and struggles? His reason could be two-fold, that I can see:

 First off, people who struggle in silence have a harder time of it. They are more apt to fail and give up.

  Secondly: When people do come forth and admit to a struggle, they are often used of God to encourage others, which Satan would not want.

  I am not a big fan of Michael English's singing. He was OK in the Gaither Vocal Band, but I'd never buy one of his CDs, but I admire him. He had an affair, and admitted to it. He got addicted to painkillers, and got help and admitted to it. I find him inspiring and encouraging. Some may still hold his sins and failures against Him, but God has forgiven him and is using him.

  Brennan Manning, author of the book that has so helped me, was an alcoholic. He sought help and fully admitted often that he had been an alcoholic, and God used him in ways that He never could have if he had suffered in silence.

  There are those who have battled porn, same-sex attractions, drugs, and other things who got victory and are out there writing books, blogs, speaking, and doing their best to tell others their story. Why? To show the work of God in their life, and to encourage others who are where they have been that yes, they can make it with God's help. They are not alone, there is hope.

  That sure sounds like something the devil wouldn't be happy with, so he continues to work on Christians to act hateful toward some sins, to make people dealing with certain sins or issues that they are all alone, and they need to keep it a secret, or their church and friends will condemn and avoid them.

   I have had people tell me things that blew my mind. I had no idea. Just recently, someone I know casually, and have never met told me a secret. Its not horrible, but its something she hides from even family.

  I have 367 friends on Facebook, and many friends outside of the internet. How many of them are dealing with some issue they are afraid to tell anyone about? How many could be helped if someone else "came out of the closet" and admitted they struggled in that area, or had struggled and gotten victory.

  Some are doing it. Thank God for those who have been brave enough to quit hiding, and risked it all to admit it:
"I'm an alcohloic"
"I'm addicted to porn"
"I was molested"
"I'm attracted to the same sex"
"I'm having marriage problems"
"I'm suffering from depression"

  God has a way of using the bad in our lives for good. The people who love the most, who are not judgmental, who have reached people dealing with some bad stuff, are often the ones who dealt with some bad stuff themselves. Who knows the people we could reach and help if we quit hiding. Is there risk? Yes, but life is risky, and if God has helped us, we kind of owe it to Him to let others know, and try to help others.

  It is rough thinking you are the only one dealing with an issue. To sit in a church full of people who seemingly have it all together. I'm not necessarily talking about a sin issue. There are other things that we feel ashamed to admit we are dealing with. Afraid to be judged, condemned, avoided.... how awesome would it be to know there are others who have been where we have been, who have gone through the same valley, struggled with the same sin, who hasn't had a bed of roses being a Christian.

  When we come to God, the masks have to come off. He sees right through them, and we may try to cover our sin or scars, but He can see everything. There may be some things we need to keep between God and ourselves, but there are other things that God may be able to use, may be able to use US, if we come out of the closet of silence and shame and admit it.

  Will we face people who will judge us? Avoid us, gossip about us, condemn us? Most likely. But not all will, and chances are, there is at least one person who is cowering, struggling, who may end p coming to us for help and encouragement they so desperately need. It won't be easy. Often doing  the right thing isn't easy, and we get fought, but if we help and encourage others, and point them to our Savior...... isn't that what its all about?

  What good is having a testimony of God's help and deliverance from something of you can never tell anyone? If God heals from cancer, the person will testify, some even write books, but what about being delivered from and getting victory over something like porn..... why must some even hide their victories, while others shout them from the roof tops.

  I could be wrong, but I do believe if more people were honest about what they are struggling with, and about what God has helped them with, there would be more people encouraged and getting help from the same issues. If we come out of the closet with what we are going through, and how God has helped us, the sky is the limit on what God could do. So what is holding us back? People...... Christian people.

  Maybe we all need to stop caring so much about what people think of us, and telling God to use us, even if it means shouting from the housetop what we have wanted to hide forever. If He receives glory, and if others are helped, wouldn't it be worth it all in the end?

 

Combatting depression

   I can't remember exactly when it hit, but some time a few years ago, I felt I was suffering from depression. I googled the symptoms, and yep. I had it.

  There are a couple of common misconceptions among many Christians:
1) Christians don't get depressed
2) Depression is a spiritual problem
  
  There was a woman arguing for the case of #2 in our church's Bible study a year or so ago, and she did have some people refute her, thankfully. It is definitely not a spiritual problem, but it won't help you spiritually either. In my case, I couldn't pray. If I tried, it seemed my prayers bounced off the ceiling and fell onto the floor. Ever hear the phrase "the heavens were like brass"? Yep. They were. Throw into the mix that I have always struggled to believe God loves me and that matter to him, I am sure the devil used my depression to his advantage. And no, I'm not saying he caused it.

  It took me a while to get to the place that I sought help. I went to the clinic near me and got a very nice lady doctor. She asked me my symptoms and what I thought might be causing the depression, so I gave her a list. She identified herself as a Christian, but we totally disagreed on one issue I deal with, and it came up in later visits, and was part of the reason I quit going, I didn't want a doctor telling me something was OK with God that there is plenty of evidence in the Bible that it is not.

  She gave me a prescription that I took til my next visit. I didn't notice any change, so she gave me a different one. This went on for several months, with some pills helping a little for a while, then not at all. The last prescription she gave me was the most expensive: $75 for a month supply. By that time, I was tired of what felt like being experimented on, and of her views on one of the things I deal with.

  During that time, I also went to see a psychologist, who was surprisingly free because of my income. Again, differing views on a major issue caused me to not go back, so I just suffered with it.

  If you have never suffered with depression, you can't understand it. Things seem so dark and hopeless. You lack energy. You have a hard time caring about much of anything. I joke that I wasn't lucky enough to get the loss of appetite that many get. No, I eat when I am depressed.

  I love to read, but rarely read. I'd force myself to read books I was committed to reviewing.

  I reached a point where I knew I needed to do something. Its not healthy to just go on day after day feeling the way I was feeling. So I decided to "self medicate", so to speak:

  1) I started walking. My doctor had actually suggested that, but it was winter at the time, and I thought "you have got to be nuts!" But once spring came, I started walking.

  2) I got some praise and worship music. My favorite genre' is Southern Gospel, and I doubt that will ever change, but there is something to be said for listening to praise and worship music..... it changes your frame of mind and your outlook. I'd often listen to it while walking.

  3) I got more thankful. When you're depressed, you focus on the bad, and there is definitely bad, but focusing on the good and being thankful for what I do have, and what is good in my life, helped immensely.

  4) Similar to #3, being more positive. I can't believe how negative I was when I was at my worst. I would go over and over what was wrong in my life, in the world, I'd focus on how dim and hopeless the future looked. How hopeless I was.

  5) I tried to be more sociable. Depression is odd. You feel lonely, yet you try to avoid being around people. I started speaking up more in Sunday School. Got a little more involved on Facebook. I'd try to talk to more people at church.

  6) I started getting out more. Shopping is something I enjoy and its almost therapeutic for me, especially bookstores, and even more so, Christian bookstores.

 7) I started to improve myself. There isn't much about myself I like, so I tried to be someone I could like better. That's still a work in progress, but it gives me a goal.

 8) I started blogging more. I enjoy it, and though its something else that was hard to do when I was depressed the most, the more I do it, the more it helps.

 9) Reading. Yes, it was difficult at first, but I started enjoying it again.

 10) Reading. No, I'm not being redundant. I started reading helpful books. I have always read a lot of fiction. Christian fiction, but I started reading non-fiction Christian books. Books about His love, books about dealing with depression from a Christian standpoint, and they helped.

 11) I started working through my issues with God. My views of Him have been so skewed, I have doubted His love so much...... and once I started working on that, it was another thing that started to help.

   There are probably some things I missed, and some I'm not even aware of that have helped me, but those are the ones that come immediately to mind.
 
  And I still am dealing with depression. These things are not a magic fix, but I have come a long way. A very long way. I am better at stopping myself if I start to slide into feeling depressed, and am much better at being more positive.

  Should I seek medical help again? Maybe. I'm not knocking anyone for doing so, and would in fact encourage it. For me, it just wasn't helping, so I am going to continue to "self medicate" and also to start seeking God's help with it. Something I should have been doing all along. Ideally, I'd like to see a Christian counselor or psychologist, but know of none near me, and doubtful I could afford one anyway.

  I don't want to diminish God's help, for He can and will help in a lot of areas, but what Christians tend to not get, is depression is a sickness. Just as we go to the doctor for a lot of other things, we need to go for that. Some would say we just need to pray more and believe in healing...... well, if you're severely depressed, that's not really an option. You may as well go pray to a brick wall for all the more help prayer feels like when you're in that position.

  If you're dealing with depression, get help. If you are not and never are, try to understand we who have and are. Its not an easy thing to deal with, and all too often it is something we feel we have to try to hide. And hiding something like depression can be dangerous.

The Christmas I lost Jesus...... and I talk to a porcelin baby Jesus

   I'll never forget the year I lost Jesus. I think it was around 14 or 15 years ago. And I didn't just lose Him. I lost the whole gang: Mary, Joseph, the wise men, shepherd, cow, sheep, donkey, and camel. Gone. Lost. I wasn't necessarily devastated, but I was definitely morose and disappointed.

  The Nativity scene is my favorite Christmas decoration. Its more than a decoration, but is a reminder of what Christmas is all about, so I was definitely bummed out. I looked high and low, but no luck. I'd just moved from an apartment into the bottom of a duplex, and in the shuffle of moving, I'd lost Him. And His entourage.

  Looking back, I don't know why I didn't buy another. I really like the one I have, but a person could have two, couldn't they? As long as both baby Jesus don't wind up in the same stable, two would be OK. Maybe I couldn't afford to buy something I knew was in the house somewhere. Whatever the reason, I went the whole Christmas season with no Nativity scene to gaze at. It was a mite depressing.

  This may sound weird, and hopefully no one will have me put in a psych unit for admitting it, but I talk to the baby Jesus in my Nativity scene. Yeah, you read that right. I talk to a porcelain baby Jesus. Don't worry.... he doesn't talk back, and I'd be a bit freaked out if he did. And no, he isn't an idol :-)

  I have always loved to look at the Nativity scene and imagine what that night was like. To have been there. To be one of the shepherds who had had angels appear to them, or one of the wise men, those men who gave Jesus His first gifts.

  I can't step into the scene, but wish I could. As I gaze at the stable I have set up, I have often found myself praying. I am looking at a porcelain baby Jesus as I pray - and a hand-painted one at that!  - but I'm not really praying or talking to it. I'm talking to the real Jesus who died on the cross for me. I find myself talking to Him about Christmas, about how thankful I am that He came, about how I wonder what it was like, of how I want Him to have all of me, as I don't know what else to give Him.

  And isn't that the best thing, and all He wants? All of us? I've been so guilty in the past of having the wrong views of God, and thus holding onto parts of me that He wasn't really getting. This Christmas, I want Him to have it all. I'm not a wise man, though some would say I am a wise guy, but I can't help but believe all of me is more important to Him than the gifts those wise men gave so long ago.

  You can knock me talking to a porcelain baby Jesus, but that little piece of porcelain helps bring the meaning of Christmas to mind, and helps me focus more on why He came. To help me remember its not the shopping, gift giving, cantatas, programs, cookies, and all of  the other Christmas trimmings, its Him that matters.

  I think we are all a little prone to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of Christmas. We worry about finding the right gifts for everyone, and worry about someone giving us a gift who we haven't bought for.

  We have parties, programs, and Christmas busyness coming out of our ears, and its so easy to lose Jesus in it all. I don't want to do that. Its a time set aside to remember and celebrate His birth........ and should not Christians find  the best ways to celebrate his birth that will best honor Him and help us remember Him? Maybe we all need to take time to pray and even if we have done it before, give Him our all again. I don't think He'd mind.

  There is a story I have shared before, but it comes to mind every year around this time, and it won't hurt to share it again:

 A young couple had tried for years to have a baby, but with no success. Finally, when they had lost all hope, it happened. A baby boy was born into their empty arms. They were thrilled! After he was brought home, they threw a party in his honor, so that all of their friends and family could meet the little prince who had made their lives complete.

After all of the guests had arrived, someone finally asked to see the little guy. The joyous celebration turned somber as they realized no one knew where he was. A frantic search began all through the house until finally he was found. On the bed where all of the guests' coats had been piled, nearly suffocated to death.

  No, we won't suffocate Jesus under a bunch of coats, but we can get so caught up in the busyness of Christmas, that we lose sight of Him. It would do us all good to take a step back, just stay home an evening and think about Him, and why He came. Thank Him for coming, for dying for us, and find some way to give back. Its all about Him, isn't it time we act like it? I'm going to go tell my porcelain baby Jesus so......

And by the way, my Nativity set was found after Christmas was over, and that was the only year I didn't put it up, but it was not the only year I lost Jesus during His birthday celebration.