Random May thoughts

  In my down time at work in the Emergency Department waiting room, I don't have much to do except think and watch the door for patients, or chat with co-workers who come by the desk. Occasionally, I'll type a blog post up in an email and send it to myself. Sometimes I'll just type down a bunch of random thoughts that have been on my mind. They become a blog post like this:

   Age/birthday

  I am turning 47 in 17 days.....and I can't believe it. I am already at the point in life that I wonder where the years have gone. I don't mean to sound proud, but I see some other people my age who look older than I do. Maybe I am biased, but I don't think I look as old as a lot of people my age :)

This being my birthday month, I am accepting gifts, gift cards, and money all month long. :)

Weight 

  I am in a weight loss slump. Last week, I lost 3 pounds..... this week, I don't think I have lost any. It seems like I hit a point and get stuck there for a week or so. I am thankful for the 25 I have lost, but I want more to come off..... and faster

Donald Trump

  I may have too much anger and frustration with Trump and his supporters, but I cannot begin to fathom how any intelligent person that is a conservative and/or Christian could overlook so much in him morally and politically, and vote for him. I cannot and will not. If the Republican Party wants my vote, then they need to put up a decent pro-life candidate who isn't opposite to everything I believe.

Bathrooms

  It blows my mind the amount of people who have no problem with people using whichever bathroom they want to use, And it blows my mind even more that we who are concerned about safety  are being hated and called bigots by even other Christians. I feel like I am living in an upside down world, the twilight zone, or an alternate reality these days.

Vacation

 Three weeks from this coming Saturday is my vacation to  the Outer Banks. I cannot wait, and won't want to come back. Maybe God could call me as a missionary to that area......Or maybe I could set up a small store on the beach and sell Bibles, surfboards, towels, and fishing poles.....

  I am hoping to get through some of the books on my "to be read" stack while there.

Donald Trump 2

One of my biggest pet peeves lately is idea propagated by Trump supporters that everyone opposing him are liberals, Obama voters, or unemployed - they have used all three accusations. I am none of those, and am against him because I am a Christian and conservative. and I am too Christian and conservative to vote for him.

Minority victories

  Why does the minority always win? Gay marriage was legalized because a minority wanted it. Prayer was taken out of school because of one women. This insanity over bathrooms is to make .3% of the population happy. If there are so many Christians in America, why don't we ever win? Why don't we ever put a stop to the madness? Is it because too many of us don't care, are too liberal and are OK with these things, or why??

  There is this attitude that we should never offend or disagree with anyone, so we should lay down and let the country march onto whatever madness someone is pushing.

Bible translations

  I am thankful for the different Bible translations out there. I think King James only people are depriving themselves of better Bible reading and study. I find having several different translations make reading and studying the Bible more interesting and adds variety, especially to verses I could recite from memory from the King James Version, the one I was raised on.

Cross

  The older I get and the further I travel on this Christian walk, the more convinced I am that we are doing American Christianity, and maybe even American church wrong. Everything revolves around "me".....we want a church that has the style of music and worship that we like, we decide what in the Bible is relative to us and what we need to practice and obey. Most of us look at the cross as a fancy piece of jewelry, not an ugly and heavy object that we must carry if we are to truly serve God.

Politics versus trusting God

 I have been wondering lately about all of this demands and calls for we anti-Trump people to toss aside all of our issues with him to vote for him to avoid a Hillary presidency, and about all of this fear and worry about a Hillary presidency...... is our trust in politics and politicians instead of God if we support such a man instead of clinging to our principles, morals, and Biblical values? Are we Christians too focused on and too worried about this election outcome? And what does it say about us if we do set aside principles and morals to vote for a man as vile and vulgar as this..... or for the woman on the other ticket?

Hymns

  My two favorite hymns:

And Can It Be?
Great Is Thy Faithfulness

  I think it is sad that so many churches are deserting hymns and going to new songs that lack the depth and meaning so many of the hymns have.

I am loved

CHORUS
I am loved, I am loved
I can risk loving you
For the One who knows me best
Loves me most
I am loved you are loved
Won't you please take my hand
We are free to love each other
We are loved

VERSE 1
I said if You knew You wouldn't want me
My scars are hidden by the face I wear
He said my child My scars go deeper
and It was love for you that put them there

CHORUS

VERSE 2
Forgiven I repeat it I'm forgiven
Clean before my Lord, I freely stand
Forgiven I can dare forgive my brother
Forgiven I reach out to take your hand

Lord, let me be of help to someone, but make it quick and not a bother.....

***This blog post is an edited version of one I posted in May of 2013. It  is  similar to my last blog post, Getting our hands, or car seats dirty, but I'm hoping to expound on it, though it may be a hodge-podge of "stuff":

   I am including myself in this, but I've been wondering if most of us aren't completely missing it in the church. We have our families and our friends, our jobs and activities, and we so rarely go out of our way to help anyone, really help them, as lead them to Christ, or cause them to want to be Christians.

I read a great fiction book last month, The Gate by Dann Stouten. There was a conversation between Jesus and the main character in the book that I thought nails it:

 Jesus: "As a Christian, your job isn't to bring people on earth to Heaven.. That is my job. Your job is to bring Heaven to the people on earth. To feed the hungry, to clothe the naked, to care for the sick, the crying, and the dying. When you do that, people will start asking 'Why? What's your motivation? What possible reason would you have for making that ...kind of sacrifice for me?' And when they start asking questions like that, then sharing your faith will be easy, then lives will be changed. It's simple really. Do that, and you'll change the world. Don't do that, and nothing will change. Like I said before, what you've done to the least of these, you've done to me"

And something else I read recently in Fearless by Mike Dellosso in the forward to the book:

In James Cameron’s 2009 hit Avatar the alien race greets
each other with the words “I see you.” During the course
of the movie we learn that those words mean more than they
appear to mean at first. To the Na’vi “I see you” is so much more
than acknowledging that an individual is present; it is to look
into their soul, to see them for who they really are, their character,
their passions, their hurts and fears and joys and dreams.


Interestingly native tribes in South Africa use the same greeting.It’s quite powerful when you think about it. We are a busy people, working, playing, texting, surfing; our minds are constantly occupied.


Yes, we’re surrounded by people we never really see. Oh, we see they’re there. They get in our way in line at the grocery store, cut us off on the highway, give us the wrong amount of change at the fast-food joint. But do we really see them? Mostly, no.

How radically it would change our lives if we saw those around us as not just bodies populating the landscape of our life, but as people with lives, with struggles and victories, as husbands trying desperately to provide for their family and wives exhausted from working and parenting and running here and there, as employees striving to do their best in a system that keeps expecting more for less.



What if we really saw those around us? What if we looked into their eyes and found the soul of them? How important would every connection be? Every word spoken? Every action portrayed?

And what if others knew that when we looked at them we saw so
much more than a body taking up space, that we saw them as a
precious creation, a person made in the image of God. A person.
I want to see people, really see them.


We used to sing a song at church:

"Lord, lay some soul upon my heart,
And love that soul through me;
And may I bravely do my part
To win that soul for Thee"

   There are so many hurting people around us, but how willing our we to really do something about it? Some of them are across the street, next door, on the street corner, and even in our own church congregation. Jesus spent most of his ministry helping and loving people........ how much of our time is spent doing so? Do we really want to have a soul laid on our hearts to pray for, to love? Can we sing the above song..... and really mean it?

   I was reading a fictional book the other night where white supremacists were finding young teenage boys that no one wanted and recruiting them - that does go on, and not just with white supremacists. Think of the difference we could make if these young people who are growing up without someone to love and care about them could be met by Christians who would take them under their wing instead of letting them be prey for evil, and headed for trouble.

  About 13 years ago, I decided to try something new. I enrolled in the Big Brothers program. The boy who I got as my "little brother" was a scrawny quiet kid of 12. The first time I picked him up, I didn't think it would ever work, but it did. Once he started talking, he wouldn't quit. :-) I was his "big brother" for 4 years and loved it. I got into it to do something for someone else, but it helped me a lot. It was fun, but it involved sacrifices and time. I hate sports, but went to some of his basketball games for his sake. I went to some school band concerts that were OK, and not something I'd normally do, but he was playing in it, so I went. I spent a lot of time and money on him in 4 years, and I don't regret it at all. (His mom would often try to pay me back when I took him out to eat. I wouldn't let her) I was the main male role model in his life for 4 years, and I hope and pray I was the example I should be. His mom told me a while back that she credits me with the man he has turned out to be. I cried when I read that. And really, I didn't do much. I spent time with him, tried to do things he was interested in, loved him, spent some money on meals, mini golf, birthdays, Christmas, etc, but it felt great to do it. I'd love to do something like that again. I wish I could do more.

  The thing is, so many of is don't get it. It is all about people. We can't take anything to heaven with us except for people, yet we are so busy doing things. And yes, we have lives and things we need to do, but when we stand before God and if we can have regrets, we are going to wish we had done more to help people find Jesus, and to make it to Heaven.

  We're all busy, but we can still make time. My church has reading course books for the youth and for the missionary society. One year, I was in charge of the youth books. I had to try to get people to read them, keep track of where they were, and report at the end of the year how many people read each book. I got so sick of the excuse half the church gave me "I don't have time." I'd fume to my family later: "I bet if we'd ask them over Friday or Saturday night for pizza and games, they'd have time for that!" Were they being honest? Some of them, maybe, but we do make time for what we want to do. I'd rather they had just said they didn't want to read them.... that is what I do. :-)

   I was talking to someone recently and was surprised by something they said. They told me they haven't professed to be a Christian for 3 years. Everyone in their church, and outside the church, just assumes they are where they should be with God. I thought "how sad." I'm not advocating going around taking everyone's spiritual temperature in the church, but if we can't see the people in our own church who are hurting and need encouragement and help, then how can we help people outside of the church........ though we need to do both.

  If Jesus was walking the earth today, He would be out there helping people, putting feet to the Gospel. That is what He did when He was here. I am not saying we can't have fun and games, but He viewed people more important than that. Healing them, helping them, loving them. And it is still important.

Read Matthew 25:34-46 (NLT)

34 “Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the Kingdom prepared for you from the creation of the world. 35 For I was hungry, and you fed me. I was thirsty, and you gave me a drink. I was a stranger, and you invited me into your home. 36 I was naked, and you gave me clothing. I was sick, and you cared for me. I was in prison, and you visited me.’

37 “Then these righteous ones will reply, ‘Lord, when did we ever see you hungry and feed you? Or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38 Or a stranger and show you hospitality? Or naked and give you clothing? 39 When did we ever see you sick or in prison and visit you?’
40 “And the King will say, ‘I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters,[f] you were doing it to me!’

41 “Then the King will turn to those on the left and say, ‘Away with you, you cursed ones, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his demons.[g] 42 For I was hungry, and you didn’t feed me. I was thirsty, and you didn’t give me a drink. 43 I was a stranger, and you didn’t invite me into your home. I was naked, and you didn’t give me clothing. I was sick and in prison, and you didn’t visit me.’

44 “Then they will reply, ‘Lord, when did we ever see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison, and not help you?’

45 “And he will answer, ‘I tell you the truth, when you refused to help the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were refusing to help me.’

46 “And they will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous will go into eternal life.”

   If I read those verses right, it sounds to me like helping people, showing them love, is pretty important to God. Important enough that he cast aside the people in the above verses that didn't do it.

  As the first book quote said, if we love people and start putting actions to what we believe, we won't have to preach to people, they will want this Jesus we claim to be like and serve.

  We can pay our tithe, keep all the commandments, go to church regularly, live an honest life with integrity, but if we don't reach out to others, we aren't being like Jesus at all.

  In closing, I am not saying everyone is failing in this area. There are many people who are doing far more than their part, but I fear more of us are not doing what we should, than are. It would do us good to pray for God to send someone across our path that we can be Jesus to, to love, and help in any way we can. The sad truth is, most likely they are already there for many of us, and like the religious rulers in the story of the Good Samaritan, we walk on by and ignore them. We should take caution to only pray that prayer if we mean it. It will cost us some time, maybe money, and inconveniences.

Getting our hands, or car seats dirty, a re-post

**I first write and published this in March of 2013, but edited it a bit and added some pictures to break it up a bit

 I did something yesterday that I don't normally do. I was on my way home from work and just past the Austintown exit on Rt 11, a 4 lane freeway, I spotted a man walking. It was cold and snowing a bit, and I felt like I should offer him a ride, even though he wasn't hitch-hiking. He gratefully climbed in and I told him I could take him as far as Lisbon, where I live, 30 miles down the road. He was headed for East Liverpool, 16 miles past Lisbon, and had been walking from Cleveland. He said he had spent the night under a bridge. He chatted a bit, but it was a mostly quiet 30 miles. At one point, he asked me who was singing on the CD I had playing. I told him it was a gospel group named the Isaacs and he said they sounded nice.

   As my exit came up, I felt like I should get him some coffee and something to eat, kind of brought on by the fact that he most likely assumed I was a Christian - the gospel music. He gratefully accepted my offer, so I stopped at the gas station/convenience store right off the exit and bought him some coffee, a sandwich, and some chips and was on my way.

   He didn't appear to be very clean, and also smelled, so when I got home I put a new air freshener in my car and sprayed the seat with Lysol.

   There is a reason I stopped and picked this man up. I have been thinking a lot about this idea of getting our hands dirty. Too many Christians, myself included, go through life living our Christian life and rarely go out of our way to witness or help people in need. We do it if it doesn't involve getting our hands dirty, if it causes no discomfort on our part, or takes up time we would rather spend doing something else. I tell this story not to lift myself up, for I don't do enough. There are some Christians who do more, but I'm afraid our churches are filled with people like me. We want to live for Christ and be like Him, but not in every way.

   We can dress modestly and look like the gender we are, we can have great attitudes, go to church regularly, and be next to perfect......... but if we never step out of our comfort zone and help people, love the unlovable, and really do something  worthwhile, we really aren't much like Jesus after all. He got His hands dirty. He visited the outcasts, the down and out, the lepers and other undesirables. Can we do any less?

   I am friends with a dear lady named Pat. She is a wonderful Christian woman whose oldest son is gay. He openly lived the gay lifestyle for years, and she loved him and his friends. She'd visit him and treat his gay friends like they were someone special. Not sure if she still does it, but she would go around speaking about the issue of homosexuality from a Biblical standpoint, and with her son's permission, talk about him and what it is like having a gay son.... she truly loved the sinner, but not the sin. Too many Christians would run from that. They would be afraid to catch the gayness, or other ridiculous ideas. I sat in a Sunday School class in my own church a few years ago where the issue was being discussed and heard these comments, and others similar: "I'd never let my kids around one of those people." "I'd rather have a murder around my family than one of those perverts." Wow, really?! Is it any wonder people in that lifestyle hate Christians and the church so much? I pity the gay person that runs across Christians with that attitude. They will be all the more turned off by Christianity.

   Now I'm not saying we should go around picking up hitch hikers. It isn't always a wise or safe thing to do, especially for women, and had I not felt so strongly that I should, I would have driven by. I doubt my actions will bring that man to Christ, but hopefully he will view Christians and God in a more positive light because of what I did. We don't have to be out there witnessing to every person we meet, though that is great if you do, but we can all reach out somehow to people, even those who seem unlovable or are living lifestyles that are destructive, sinful, and that we abhor. Jesus wouldn't pass them by, so how can we and claim to be like Him?

  I fear sometimes we just don't love enough. Yes, we still have to say sin is sin and try to stand against the tide of evil, but we cannot sit idly by and not reach out to people, to help them, love them, and be kind. Even if it is taking a plate of cookies to your heathen neighbor.

  Maybe you have read my blog post and you're the exception. That is great. I'm not the exception. I need to love more, reach out more to people, do random acts of kindness in His name. We won't win anyone to Christ unless we love them and touch their lives in some way. This has really been on my mind lately, and I've probably done a poor job of expressing my thoughts, but hopefully I can do better in the future. I may never pick up another person walking along the road, but there are other opportunities that face each of us daily, a chance to show love, and to be like Jesus at His best.

Eating healthy

 It has been eight weeks since my stay in the hospital. Eight weeks since I found out that I have blood clots on my left lung and also have type 2 diabetes.

  I had needed to lose weight for a while, having put a lot on when my depression was at its worst. I weighted 247 when I was admitted to the hospital - the most I have ever weighed in my life. In those eight weeks, I have lost 25 pounds so far, with 32-37 more to go to my goal (depending on if I decide to hit 185 or 190). I have changed my eating habits drastically, am using an app to keep track of my calorie and carb intake (which I posted about on here), and am using a fit bit bracelet to keep track of my walking and to help me walk more.

  The hardest things for me to cut back on are mashed potatoes, bread, and pasta....all foods high in carbs. All of these years we thought bread was good for you.....not so much, A nurse at the clinic I go to said I could eat a candy bar and my sugar would spike but go back down. If I eat a few slices of bread, my sugar will go up and stay up....weird.

  Sundays are the worst for me. I don't get as much walking in, and we always have a big Sunday dinner that has meat, mashed potatoes and gravy or noodles, rolls, veggies, and dessert. I used to get a couple of big helpings of the potatoes, but have cut back to one normal-sized helping. I'll have one roll, and a small piece of dessert. That is far less than I used to eat on Sundays, but when added to what I eat before I go to bed; it is usually too many carbs and calories.

  Weekdays are easier. I rarely eat breakfast, and will usually have a string cheese mid morning. Lunch at work is usually a mix of a couple of the following:  yogurt (sometimes with fruit in), unsweetened applesauce, popcorn, an apple, and nuts. I eat whatever there is for supper, but cut back on my portions.

   Snacking has been one of my weaknesses for a while, so I have had to come up with new snacking habits. I love veggies with dip, and dips are low in carbs. Nuts are healthy, so those are a common snack for me....especially Diamond Smokehouse Almonds. The right kinds of popcorn are good, and some fruits in moderation - they are high in carbs.

  I have cut back on pop, though I am not a big pop drinker anyway; and iced tea. I drink more water and a lot of Sparkling Ice, which has no calories or carbs.

  Surprisingly, a lot of sugar free items are not very low in carbs/sugars and I have learned to watch those labels carefully. Fruit is also high in sugars and too much is a bad idea for someone with diabetes.

  As a result of the blood thinners I am on, I also have to watch foods that are high in vitamin K, but most of those I don't like anyway. The biggest problem with the blood thinner restrictions are salad dressings. My blood was too thick a few weeks ago, and I deduced after reading the info I had, it was because I'd had several salads recently and the dressings have soybean and canola oil in them - two no-no's while being on this blood thinner. I can't find any dressings that do not have those, so my only option while being on blood thinners is to make my own dressing using the Italian packets that you mix with oil, vinegar, and water. It is more bother, but I can still have my salads.

  I had shirts hanging in a closet and also in a few totes that didn't fit me. I have been slowly getting into a lot of them, depending on how the shirts are made. Pants are going slower. I am getting back into 38 waist relaxed fit jeans, but most of the 38 waist dress pants I have are still too snug. I have several pair of 36 waist pants that I am aiming to get into eventually. I definitely don't need to go out and purchase a new wardrobe.... I have a wardrobe waiting for me.

  I still feel this whole experience was God. Had I not passed out in the Emergency Department, I don't know how long I would have gone before these two issues would have been discovered. I don't look at the diabetes as a curse, but as the push I needed to lose weight and change my eating habits. I got checked out very well in the hospital with tests that I normally wouldn't have gotten..... I even had my heart checked, and my bills were mostly taken care of.

 I am not going to turn into a health nut, but I am using this experience to adapt to a new way of eating - less sugars, less snacking, less calories; and hopefully more exercise.

Choose your own adventure

   When I was a kid, there were some books that became very popular: "choose your own adventure" books. Even the ever popular Hardy Boys series did several books using that style of writing along with Nancy Drwe. If you aren't familiar with the books, I'll give an example: "The book proceeds as normal at first, Then as Nancy Drew and Frank and Joe Hardy are about to explore a deserted building that may have needed evidence in, a suspect drives by. If you think they should check the building out, go to page 26. If you think they should pursue the suspect, go to page 35." The books usually have several places that you can choose between two different courses for the characters to take, ending with a couple of different outcomes.

  I was never content to read the book that way. I'd bookmark the page where the choice was given and go back later to try the other choice, bookmarking several pages so I could explore all of the options.

  Wouldn't it be great if life was like that? Imagine if you could select one course for your life - say take that certain job - and follow it out to see how your life would end up. If you aren't happy with that, or if it goes bad;  just back up to where you picked that course in your own story, and try the other option.

  There were a couple of problems with backtracking on the choose your own adventures to try the other courses:

1) Sometimes the other course wasn't as interesting and I didn't like the outcome as well as the original that I chose.

2) I usually goofed up and confused and the story got messed up and didn't make sense

  But I still liked them, and was ecstatic when they brought them out in the never ending Hardy Boys series.

  The last few years, I have gotten reflective and contemplative during the month of May. It is the month that I turn another year older. As I have reflected and contemplated, it almost seems like my life is a choose your own adventure story with someone else choosing the next course of action to take. I want to go to page 33, but wind up at page 45 wondering how on earth I got there.

  When you are young, life does seem like a choose your own adventure with you in the driver's seat. But as I quickly learned, I don't always choose right; and all too often I picked the wrong course in this book I am writing. The adventures I wanted to choose turned out to be the wrong ones.

  Now here I am, 23 days away from turning another year older and am wondering where the years went. I feel like I have accomplished nothing, and my dreams and wishes lie smashed as a sandcastle on the sands after a wave has crashed onto the shore.

 Even at my best, I feel that I lead too self-centered of a life and am left with the constant feeling there is something more I need to be doing, but have no clue what. From the chapter I am at in my story, the choose your own adventure thing isn't looking that great anymore. If I could only go back to one of those places in my life and choose differently....... but that is not an option we are given. Once we set our course in this adventure we call life, there is no going back and changing everything that resulted from that choice.

  But there is still hope even though we can't go back to the page in our story where we chose the course that we did to choose another. It has taken me this many chapters in my story (or years in my life, if you prefer) to come to a few realizations and truths:

  It doesn't matter what our story has been, or the choices we have made; God can our story and write an ending that we never could have imagined. He can make something beautiful out of the messy scrawls and wrong turns we have taken.

  It doesn't matter what we have done or where we have been, God still has a plan for our lives and can use anyone in His work and Kingdom.

  God's grace and mercy are truly never ending and is so vast that no human mind can comprehend it. His grace can cover the mess we have made out of our lives.

  Choosing your own adventure really isn't that great after all. Handing the choices over to God and letting Him guide us to what He knows is best and what He wants for our lives will never end in disappointment. If we do His will and follow His plan, we will never be wishing we could go back and change things.

  The devil likes to point out all I have done in my life, and how horrible my struggles are compared to the other Christians at church. He loves to tell me God can never use me and I can never do anything worthwhile for God at this point. I am too old, too tired, too messed up, too.....everything.

  These last several weeks have been challenging: an unexpected hospital stay, 2 unexpected diagnoses that have made life challenging, up and down emotions about it all, doctor visits, bills......and now the depressing political news that means Hillary Clinton will most likely be our next president. This isn't what I would have chosen for my life or for our country,  in regards to politics; but God is in control of my life and this whole world. He can bring good out of bad, and get beauty from ashes.

 As I start this 47th chapter in my story, I want God to write the story. I don't want to choose my own adventure anymore, but I want Him to direct me on which course to take. I want to find His will for my life and stay in His will in this 47th chapter and throughout the rest of the chapters in my story, how many ever there are.

 There is hope for all of us, no matter what our story has been or what choices we have made as we tried to write it. He always knows best, and will never let us down. Bring it on, chapter 47.

Politics: Misplaced faith

This election cycle has been a messy and vicious one; and a very bizarre one. It looks like the Republican nominee is most likely going to be a liberal who has donated money to the very people who fight Christians and conservatives the most. In addition to the many reasons Christians and conservatives should run from him, he is being investigated for fraud. On the other side of the aisle is a woman he has been friends with for years and who he has supported financially and in other ways. She is under investigation by the FBI and should be in jail, not running for president; yet voters are swarming around these two extremely corrupt individuals like they are God Himself. It really is a sad commentary on our country that out of the millions of people in America, this is the best we can do.

   I am worried. I could be wrong, but with the polls and unfavorable ratings; it looks like a sure thing that if Hillary and Trump are the candidates, she will beat him. A Hillary presidency is scary. She has promised to further gay rights, go after guns, and she hates conservatives and Christians and views us as the enemy. There is a high likelihood that the next president could seat 2-3 Supreme Court justices, and we know what kind of judges she would put on the bench... it truly could be the end of our Constitution and religious freedoms. And yet I fear Trump wouldn't be much better. He has also promised to further gay rights, and has been on the wrong side of every conservative issue before his sudden miraculous conversion to being a Republican. The idea of Donald Trump putting Supreme Court justices on the bench is also a disturbing idea. He has said that his very liberal pro-abortion sister would make a great Supreme Court justice, so one could assume his choices wouldn't be much different than Hillary's..... and he has flip flopped on every issue, so who knows what he does stand for or what damage he would do as president.

  These last eight years under Obama have been bad. Pretty much every fear we had has come to fruition under him. Our religious freedoms are under attack far more now than before he became president, and our country is less safe than before him. Only God knows how much worse it will get under a Hillary or Trump presidency.

  I have had some thoughts spinning around in my head lately:

1) We Christians are not living for this world. If life was perfect here, why would anyone want to go to Heaven? Jesus said the world would hate us, and if we truly live the Christian life that we should; we will not be liked by the world.

2) Others have had it worse and kept their faith. As I have thought about a Hillary or Trump presidency, Ahab and Jezebel came to mind...possibly the wickedest king and queen Israel had. They were so bad and evil that God's prophets were on the run and in hiding to avoid being killed by this wicked couple. so if Ahab Trump or Jezebel Hillary becomes president, the church will survive. We will survive.

In the early days of Christianity, Christians went through all sorts of things. They were thrown to the lions, used as human torches, and more..... and yet the church lived on and Christianity did not die.

Even today, Christians in Muslim countries are going through terrible things because they are Christians. If Hillary becomes president, we will not be as bad off as some Christians are.

3) Our faith cannot lie in politicians, politics, America, and our freedoms we have as Americans. I still believe Ted Cruz could turn this country around - or at least stem the tide a bit,  but it seems the majority wants the worst candidate to ever run on the GOP ticket... yet, Cruz isn't the answer. Our hope cannot lie in Ted Cruz, Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton, or any other politician, If we have lost sight of the fact that God is in control no matter who runs our country, then our faith is misplaced; and is in politicians/politics.

All of we Christians - myself included - go overboard with this political stuff. Yes, of course there is reason for concern, but should I or you be freaking out at the very likely horrible outcome of this election? Are we placing our faith and trust in God if we are constantly worrying and fretting about the election outcome? I am one of  the biggest offenders, so I am preaching to myself also.

And yes, I am still frustrated and angry with the conservatives and Christians who are so blindly supporting the likes of Donald Trump. I don't understand how a Christian with any discernment and principles could vote for and support people like Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump, and am frustrated that the lack of discernment and caring about the important things from them will impact my future and freedoms....but God will still be in control.

4) Maybe what American Christians need is tough times. There are those who scoff at the idea of there being persecution here in America... they are usually liberal Christians who have no problem with sin or liberal policies..... but there is some persecution going on in America. No, it is nothing like what Christians are facing in other countries, but it has started. The further gay rights are pushed, the more freedoms we will lose and we will be dealt with if we dare say these things are wrong. People are already losing jobs and businesses for not caving in......and it will get worse under Hillary and Trump. The day could come when you won't be able to hold a job or even buy and sell unless you embrace gay marriage and all things gay.

Our country is getting progressively more and more wicked. Christianity in America has become so shallow that the differences between us and the world are barely discernible. Maybe we need shaken up so we find out what we are made of and if we are truly on God's side or not. I don't want to see persecution or experience it, but history shows that the church grows during persecution.

5) It isn't all about us. Someone said to me a while back that the return of Jesus must be close with the mess our country is in. We Americans tend to be a bit self-centered, We aren't the only country God cares about. We Christians here are not the only Christians in the world, and God's timetable does not revolve around America and our politics. Does He care? I am sure He does, but He has a world to run, not just one country. If Trump or Hillary becomes president and further destroys America and our freedoms, the world will still go on.

  I have been very outspoken about Donald Trump and not voting for him. I won't list the reasons again, as if you like Trump you don't seem to care how bad he is, and if you don't like him you already know....... but this post underscores why I can't and won't vote for him. These things should be more important than politics and voting for and supporting evil just to stop another evil from being president:

God
Being a Christian
Doing the right thing
Having principles

6) If - and that is a big if - I walked into the voting booth and voted for a candidate I detest and think is the biggest sleazeball since Bill Clinton just to try to stop Hillary from voting, what does that say about me?

  I know a lot of people who don't support Trump will vote for him if he wins the nomination in hopes to stop Hillary......but is that really OK? Is that the answer? Are we standing for what is right and against what is wrong if we vote for the wrong guy just so the other wrong guy (or woman) doesn't win?

  I am tired of voting for the lesser evil and of voting for candidates who do not stand for the right things just so I can attempt to help stop a worse evil,..if there is one this time. Knowing all I know about Donald Trump, his lifestyle, his past, his actions and words.... if I walked into a voting booth and voted for him just to try to stop Hillary Clinton from being president; then politics are too important to me and are taking precedence over principles and my Christianity.

May musings on life latey

Birthdays and such

  I can't believe that it is already May. I'll turn another year older in 24 days..47. I still feel like I haven't accomplished a hill of beans in my life, and wonder if life will be what I want it to be. Lately, I have felt overwhelmed by life in general and wish I could take time off from work and everything and just relax and forget about doctors, bills, and Donald Trump.

 In addition to my birthday being this month, my mom's is on Mother's Day and my middle niece, Allie's, is on the 27th..... she missed being born on my birthday by one day.

Vacation

  I do have something to look forward to: Vacation. It isn't coming soon enough, but I have started the official countdown on a calendar. We are down to 32 days til vacation. I'll be going to the Outer Banks for a week, and I seriously cannot wait. I have started my list of what I want to take and have set aside some books and DVDs to take along.

Work

  Work has been going well. I like what I am doing, but I weary of driving 45 minutes one way; and I wish I got paid more for what I do. I got recognized last week for doing a good job. I was given a card with a note and a gift card to the one coffee shop in the hospital..... it made me feel very good.

Weight

  I am officially down 25 pounds from when I hospitalized on March 3. I was up to 247, and am down to 222. My goal weight is 185 or 190, so I have 32 or 37 more to go. I am getting used to my new diet, though weekends are the toughest for me. I have a ton of clothes that I had grown out of and am slowly getting back into, so I won't need to go out and buy a new wardrobe..... I have had a whole wardrobe packed away and waiting for a time when I lost enough weight.

Day off

  Today was the second of my two days off. My middle niece didn't have school today and was hoping I'd take her out for lunch, so I picked her up and did some shopping and asked her where she wanted to eat. She picked Mexican, not a surprise. It makes this uncle feel good that my nieces and nephews want to be with me, and I was happy to buy her lunch.

Good deeds

  I took a lady in a wheelchair up to her husband's hospital room on Friday and then back outside to her car. As I put his bags in the car for her, she thanked me and said I did my good deed for the day. I jokingly asked if that meant I didn't have to do any more good deeds for that day.

 Then Saturday, I was shopping in Boardman. It was raining, and when I went to the Goodwill there that is in a plaza, I parked up by the row of stores. There was another store I wanted to go to that was quite a ways down but could be reached by walking under the same roof. As I was walking back to my car, I heard a lady's voice say "Sir, can you please help us?" There to my right was a car with a lady sitting behind the wheel. The lady who had called me was standing by the car door with several bags at her feet. I figured they were having car trouble, and I am the last guy you'd want to call if you're having car trouble, but I walked over to see what they needed.

 It turned out that the lady with the bags didn't even know the elderly woman in the car, but was trying to help her. The issue: the lady had gotten her hazard flashing lights on and couldn't figure out how to shut them off. I got in the passenger side and spied the button immediately between two vents on her dash. She said she had wondered what that button was for. I walked away happy it was something I could help her with and feeling good that I did it.

 And I was left thinking about how we all need to do more good deeds. We are all so busy that we don't always take the time to slow down and help someone in trouble.

Listening

  I ran across this statement recently and shared it on Facebook: "listening is a kindness that anybody can show." It is so easy to hear people without really listening, and even easier to try to fix people when we do listen.... sometimes we just need someone to listen to us and not offer solutions, not give advice, but just listen and let us get out what we need to tell someone without recriminations or advice.

Voting

 Something I have been wondering about lately: Do we bear any responsibility for the actions of a candidate we vote for?  For example: say we vote for candidate A who goes on to pass legislation forcing abortions on people who already have the allotted amount of children (it happens in China)......do that candidate's voters/supporters share any blame or responsibility for that law being passed and for the babies being murdered?

Makeup

  I really don't like makeup on women........I find myself wondering why women think they need it. If we men don't need makeup to make us look good, then why do women need it? There are many animals that God made the male more beautiful than the female.. is that the case with we humans too - that God made men more beautiful than women so women need help to look as good as we do? Just asking... and really, what is up with the raccoon look/eye shadow? And why do women want really red lips......we guys are happy with normal colored ones :)

Bathrooms

  If my nieces are ever in a public restroom and a man tries to go in..... I will stand in his way and tell him he is waiting until they come out. This stuff is insane and we do not have to go along with it. And yes, I am boycotting Target. And why is it OK for men to be in the women;s bathrooms, fitting rooms, and locker rooms; but not OK for sane people to have a problem with that?

Donald Trump

  It isn't over yet. Old adulterer/strip club owner Trump may not get the nomination..... we can only hope he doesn't. I am 100% convinced he cannot beat Hillary. I am still confused and amazed at the conservatives and Christians who are overlooking so much about him that they'd never accept in someone running on the Democratic ticket...... they are just like the Obama voters who plugged their ears and shut their eyes to all the bad about him and voted for him anyway.

Yard sale

  Our family is gearing up for a yard sale, if we can have a week-end without rain. Hopefully that happens soon, as I am tired of all of the yard sale stuff sitting in the way. If you live close, I'll be selling a lot of books, XL shirts, some XXL shirts, CDs, and some pants and jeans.... in addition to everything else we will have.

Singleness, and addicted to relationships

 Being single, especially being a single guy of my age, can be tough. I rarely do anything with someone outside of my family, and the majority of my conversing, etc happens in passing at church.....

 However, I have become more comfortable in my own skin. I know people who seem addicted to being in a relationship. They break up or divorce and immediately are on the hunt for another mate because they have to have someone.....it is like they are afraid to be by themselves without someone to love and be dependent on. Being single isn't that bad, and if you can't be comfortable just being you as an individual and not being a couple, there is something wrong.

Americanized Christianity

 I wonder how many of us are the kind of Christians we should be? This Americanized Christianity that so many of us possess seems so shallow, self-centered, and has no cross or denying ourselves of much of anything.