December thoughts

 This is going to be one of those multiple subject posts, and the first post of December.

1) Christmas gifts

I am pretty much done with my Christmas shopping. I need one thing yet for one of my nieces, and then I am done. Then the fun part starts: wrapping. I am not a fan, but I have at least improved enough over the years that it isn't so obvious who wrapped it without looking at the tag.

2) Cowardly Christians, part 1: Carl Lentz

  A while back, a well known Hillsong pastor was asked a question. Carl Lentz was asked if abortion was wrong on the View.... a show I don't see how any sane person can watch. His reply:

“That’s the kind of conversation we would have finding out your story, where you’re from, what you believe. I mean, God’s the judge. People have to live to their own convictions,” Lentz continued. “That’s such a broad question, to me, I’m going higher. I want to sit with somebody and say, ‘What do you believe?"

 Cowardly may seem harsh, but I do call it the way I see it. The man had to know he was going to get some tough questions and opposition going on a show consisting mostly of liberal anti-conservative/anti-Christian/anti-God women.

 He later tried to make up for it, but the damage was done. He dropped the ball, and dodged the question instead of giving the answer he should have given: yes, it is very wrong.

3) Cowardly Christians, part 2: Lauren Daigle. 

  I had actually never heard of this Christian singer until she appeared on Ellen. I cannot stand Ellen. When I first became the greeter in the E.R. her show was on daily until I decided I was in control of the waiting room, and would change it to FOX news. I saw enough to be disgusted.

 Lauren Daigle appeared on the show and shared the Gospel, and was knocked for going on the show by a lot of Christians. I actually defended her on that.

 But now she has done something I consider her a coward for. She was on some show I never heard of, and was asked if she felt homosexuality is a sin. Her response was this:

"I can't honestly answer on that," Daigle responded. "In a sense, I have too many people that I love that they are homosexual. I don't know. I actually had a conversation with someone last night about it. I can't say one way or the other. I'm not God.

So when people ask questions like that...that's what my go to is.  I just say read the Bible and find out for yourself.  And when you find out let me know, because I'm learning too," she continued. 

  Now I am sure it was a tough question to answer. It would have been better for her to refuse to answer it, but to not agree with the God she claims to serve and give such a pathetic answer....yeah, cowardly and politically correct.

 If you read this blog much, you know I am same-sex attracted/gay, or whatever term I should use....and I have said many times it is sin and wrong. I even had a college friend give me a nasty comment on Facebook once about it. I had shared a news story about an athlete coming out as gay, and how Obama and many others were treating him as a hero. I said something to the effect that there was nothing heroic about it, and I think I added that the real heroes are the ones who are gay/SSA who live for God instead of their sexual desires. This woman attacked me and said I must be really homophobic and hate gay people. Yeah, kind of ironic. I messaged her and told her, and she would not back down. Her son is gay, not sure how many people know/knew.

 But even though it is something I personally deal with, I will not pull any punches in admitting and saying it is a sin. More on that later.

 We should be loving with our responses in such situations, but to say what she did is a complete failure as a Christian. There are many other ways she could have answered. But she gave a complete un-biblical answer, and may suffer for it.

**update: Some Christians are bashing anyone who dares criticize this woman. One guy/author I follow had harsh words about it, and ended it with "no one wants your opinion"......outspoken me commented and said that maybe no one wants his either :)

 And yeah, people can go overboard with this stuff, but this woman really dropped the ball. And here is what bothers me the most and the main reason I am so disgusted about this: This woman has influence, and it is very possible - and very likely - she could influence someone the wrong way. Same-sex attractions/gay attractions or whatever you want to call it are very tough to deal with. It is hard to live right when you are lonely, want someone to love.....and you are most likely in for a celibate lonely life with no one to love if you follow Jesus. What if she tips someone the wrong way? What if there are listeners/fans of hers who are SSA and hear what she says, and decides to believe what she so carelessly said? I find her comments dangerous and heretical.

4) Supper with the nephews

 I was wanting to shop at the Lifeway Christian store in Canton Wednesday, which is where my little sister and her family live. It is about an hour away, so I don't get over that way a lot. Since I was going over, I picked my nephews up to take out to eat. The youngest two asked where we were going, and I asked them where they wanted to go. They picked Chik fil a. My oldest nephew works there after school some days and on some Saturdays and gets $10 worth of free food per shift, so I pointed out he may want to go elsewhere. They assured me he'd want to go there.... and when he came into the room, that is where he picked to go.

5) Impromptu get-together

  I got home last night from work around 6, ate, watched a Christmas movie, and was reading a book. I figured I was in for the night until my brother-in-law messaged everyone in our family group chat  a little before 9 and asked who wanted to meet at McDonald's for ice cream. They were in Salem for something, and were headed for McDonald's. I threw on clothes and headed there. I was last to arrive, but they had just ordered. In addition to them and my nephews, my youngest niece and her boyfriend also came. I really do love being with my family, so I enjoyed our hour and a half or so. And yeah, I got ice cream and fries.

6) My weight

 I have been bouncing back and forth between 214 and 216 for a couple of weeks now, and getting frustrated about it. I am happy to be down from 230 back in May, but I need to lose more. I was pleasantly surprised this morning that the scales showed 213, especially after ice cream and fries. Hopefully I will still be that tomorrow, or even a pound less. My eating plans for the day are pizza for lunch...I buy 8 inch pre-made crusts from Walmart and add sauce and toppings.... and then a chicken salad for supper.

7) Baby It's Cold Outside

  I cannot stand the song Baby It's Cold Outside. I have heard many men and women do it as a duet, some worse than others, but the song about makes my ears bleed. It is a song I'd like to ban from my listening experience forever.

 But it is being banned for ridiculous reasons. It supposedly encourages rape. Yeah, how dumb is that. Keep in mind no one is wanting the 50 Shades movies and books banned....which truly does encourage some bad stuff being done to women. Yet people are going after an innocent - but ear bleeding - song.

 Liberals are offended by the stupidest things, yet cheer and support the bad things...like murdering babies in the womb, screwing up little kids with transgender stuff and sexuality, and more.

 But by all means ban a song that has been around since the 40's. Man has this country lost its way and mind.

 This country continues to ban and claim offense over things that for years has caused no problems. As someone has said, we are sop afraid to offend anyone except God.....and Christians, of course.

8) Ties

 Anyone who knows me very well may be shocked by this: I actually don't mind wearing ties that much any more. If the shirt is loose enough at the collar to not strangle me, it isn't a big deal. I even wore one to church last Sunday and plan on wearing one tomorrow.

 I am required to wear one for work, and have gotten used to it and have also gotten better at tying ties. I do try to keep ties tied for as long as I can for work so I don't have to tie one every time I wear a tie.

 We are allowed to wear Christmas ties, so I bought a few to wear to work.....and maybe to church. My main problem is matching ties with shirts. I have learned to just wear a solid shirt with a print tie and a solid tie with a shirt that is not a solid color. I see guys all the time wearing print ties with shirts that aren't solid, but I guess I'd better not attempt it.

 I have a coworker who helps me out. I had this conversation with her Thursday about a Christmas tie I was wearing:


Me: "would this tie go with a striped shirt?"

Her: "uh, no...it would be too busy"

Me: "oh"

Her: "I'm here to protect you from making a fashion disaster Buzz"

9) Gifts

  I am almost done with my gift buying for Christmas. I need one more thing for one of my nieces, and then I am done. I started wrapping tonight, and will work on that more another evening or day.

 My family is big on gag gifts. I guess I am the one who started the yearly tradition...shocking, I know. I also tend to be the one to receive the most gag gifts at Christmas. We pass out all of the gifts and go around taking turns opening one gift at a time. I am always opening gifts after everyone is finished....because I get the most gag gifts.

 And this year I have some new ones. :)

10) Christmas cards and letters

 I have never liked Christmas letters. They seem so impersonal and mass produced. We had a family who used to attend our church that went way over the top bragging about their kid's accomplishments over the year. My family got to calling Christmas newsletters "brag letters" because of  that. I still groan when I get one.

 And dare I go further? I don't even get that excited about Christmas cards for the most part. I do like getting Christmas cards in the mail, especially from people I don't see often. My church passes out cards people take in, and it is almost old hat. I like to get a card that has a personal note in it, but most just are signed with the person's name and I am just one of many whose name they scrawled and then signed as they went down the church address list. Yeah, that sounds bad and may make me sound like a scrooge, but it is true.

 I myself? I'd like to make a fake Christmas newsletter. My little sister did that one year for our whole family and passed it out to a few select people. Cards? I send most of them to people I don't see often, my family, and a few people at church.

 And this may sound really bad....but few people at church are part of my life. I see them at church and we may speak if we cross paths, but to many, if not most, I am just another face in the church, another name on the church Christmas newsletter.

 Yeah, it can go both ways....but this is coming from a guy who has always had trouble making friends, and is very afraid of rejection.

11) My banned post

 I got a notice from Facebook this past week that they had removed/banned a post of mine. I have heard of this happening and always wondered if it really happens. It happens. The post is a news story about a woman who is trying to turn her 6 year old boy into a girl. The court ruled against the father and said he could not tell the boy he is a boy. The story is wrong on so many levels...... and it is insane Facebook removed it. Anyone with decency and common sense should be horrified by it...but evidently Facebook supports that stuff.

 This stuff is child abuse of the worst kind. God have mercy on these poor kids who have such horrible unfit parents.

12) Transgender

 The transgender stuff is getting way beyond insane. People need to stand up to it. Yes, I feel badly for those who are confused and think they are the opposite gender that they are.....but you cannot change your gender. Oh, people can mutilate their bodies, take hormones, and do other ungodly things to attempt it.....but they are still the gender they are born, and are more likely to commit suicide after the attempt. They need help, not encouragement to pursue a delusion.

 But people need to stand up to men who are trying to be women participating in women's sports and other such things. Bruce Jenner won woman of the year a couple of years ago. Why didn't the feminists revolt? Why are women in competitions revolting or taking a stand when a man enters? Miss Universe may be won by a man this year, and everyone involved is either politically correct or afraid to speak out. People are losing their jobs for not calling people the pronouns they want to be called.

 When and where will the madness stop?

13)  Someone to come home to

  I'm not a normal guy. I know that and admit it, thought what IS normal? If you dropped the average "normal" guy in a lot of times in history, they'd be lost and considered abnormal. Good with cars? That wouldn't do you any good in 1492. Love football? That wouldn't do you any good a few hundred years ago.

 And yeah, I am different in part because of my same-sex attractions. There is no mold for guys like me. Some love sports and are good at them. I hate sports and am lousy at them. I love to shop, and most guys do not.

 SSA (same-sex attracted) guys tend to be more vulnerable than heterosexual guys. We also tend to be more open and willing to talk. Someone has joked that the average gay male would be every woman's dream.....if they were attracted to women.

 I said all that to say this: I tend to share more about how I feel and what I am thinking than "normal guys."

 Being single can be great. Other than work, I keep my own schedule. On days off, I get up when I want. I play music when I want and as loud as I want. I stay up as late as I want when I don't work the next day. I eat when I want.....and not so much what I want anymore....but I used to. Diabetes and high blood pressure changed that.

 But it can be rough and lonely too. There are nights I wish I had someone special to come home to, who would have supper ready and want to hear about my day. The cards I have been dealt say that can never happen for me.

 Sometimes I feel I have too much to deal with: diabetes, weight issues, hair issues (OK, that doesn't really bother me anymore), SSA, high car insurance, and other stuff I don't need to mention that bothers me.

 Then I feel guilty. Instead of diabetes, it could be cancer. Instead of SSA, it could be no limbs like Nick Vujicic. There are always people worse off than us, but sometimes it is difficult to focus that way.

 I'll be honest. Christmas brings the lonely factor home, maybe more than any other time. There is so much focus on love and couples. Songs, movies, advertising, and other things remind that this is a time for love and family.

 There are no gifts under my tree, for there is no one here to give them to, or give to me. Yeah, I have gifts for family, but they won't be opened here and it doesn't make a lot of sense to put any under there. But there are none for me, and there never will be.

 I've been kind of mad at God lately. There have been other times in my life that I have experienced that. The Christian stance is that no one is born gay, and God doesn't make people gay. But if that isn't true, then what does? I didn't wake up one day and think "I think I am going to be attracted to other boys!"

 There are theories, but no one really knows. Maybe we ARE born this way, but that wouldn't make it OK. Everyone is born with the predisposition to sin. Whatever the how, why? Why me? I would have loved to have had a family. I love kids, and still hurt sometimes knowing I can never be a dad. At times, it feels like a curse. I find myself asking God why me, what did I do to deserve this.

 And He has never answered that.

 I'll get over it eventually. I always have. There have been times I accepted this cross and have not been angry with God, so that day will come again.

 I am tempted to delete the last several paragraphs, but I don't shy about personal stuff and being bluntly honest, so why stop now?

14) The real meaning

 I guess if one truly focused on the real meaning of Christmas, the rest of it wouldn't matter. It isn't about family, giving gifts, getting bargains, eating, Christmas music, etc.

 It is about God loving us so much that He sent His only son as a baby who would be killed by those He came to save.

 All of the other stuff is just trappings. Not that it is all bad. I love being with family at Christmas, and giving them gifts. OK, I enjoy getting them also.




15) Santa 

 I am not a fan of Santa. He is an impostor who takes the place of Jesus in too many homes and hearts. If I had kids, Santa would not be any more present in my house and life than he is now....which is none at all. I would not let my kids believe he was real, and have major issues with that.

 Besides, I would want my kids to know their gifts were from me, and bought with my money. There is no way a fat mythical being would get the credit.

 I do like one Santa song: Santa Baby. Yeah, it is a romantic Christmas song that can bring me down if I think about it too much, but it is an awesome song.

16) Santa at the manger

  There is a thing going around on Facebook claiming that Facebook is censoring the picture of Santa at the manger for being violent. That is obviously insane, if it is true... and it does seem to be.

 You may disagree with me on my feelings about the picture/figurine. But if you read this blog much and haven't disagreed with me yet, you had better do some deep soul searching...... ;)

 Hate is a strong word, but I hate the Santa at the manger thing. People are often shocked when I say I don't like it, and act like I just said I don't like to breathe. Here's the thing: Santa is a mythical being who unfortunately takes Jesus' place all too often, and  unfortunately many people tell their kids he is real.

 So here is a figure depicting the Savior of the world as a baby with the mythical being who takes his place at the time of the year we are celebrating that baby's birth. It rubs me really wrong, and seems a bit heretical to me. Yeah, bring on the flames. I'll toss your Santa at the manger in those flames. That was supposed to be funny.

 And yeah, I get the attempted idea behind it....but good intentions does not make it right, nor does it make me like it.

 I have half joked that we may as well put the Easter bunny and tooth fairy at the manger also.




17) Favorite Christmas song

 I have a lot of Christmas songs I really like, and many favorites. Some are new, and some are old. One that was written in the 80's is one near the top of my list: We Are the Reason. There is a group I don't normally listen to who recorded it on their Christmas CD a few years back who hits it out of the ballpark: Avalon. I have heard it by others, and they can't hold a candle to that version. David Phelps is one of the best voices I have ever heard, and I was disappointed in his rendering of it on his new Christmas CD. It doesn't compare.

18) My tree

 I showed a picture of my Christmas tree to my youngest niece and my nephews last night. She said it looked like I threw my ornaments on it, and that the tinsel is crooked. The boys agreed with her, but her boyfriend said it looked good. I like how it looks. It is me. :)





19) Mary Did You Know....heretical?!

  A Facebook friend posted something someone had written claiming the song Mary Did You Know? is heretical.

 Spoiler alert: It is not

 The reasons: Mary DID know, and then there is that line in the song he and other Catholics hate: this child that you deliver, will soon deliver you."

 Yeah, it is a Catholic thing. They believe Mary was sinless, and next to God....so the idea that she needed a Savior is something a lot of Catholics cannot handle.

 As my best friend said, if Mary was sinless, then she is God and there are 4 parts to God instead of 3.

I have never understood the idolatry and worship of the Catholic church to Mary. She was a vessel to carry Jesus, and was not sinless. She should not be prayed to - that is idolatry - she does not have God's ear any more than you or I.

 I saw an  obituary recently for a young Catholic guy. It said that he was always faithful to the blessed mother. Huh?! How about being faithful to God?

 And I seriously doubt she knew everything the song asks. And by the way, the song asks if she knew.......it does not say she didn't know.

 It is an awesome song, and Catholics are a lot closer to being heretical than the song is.

20) Christmas and work

 My boss sends out a tentative schedule, and asks if anyone needs anything changed. I was scheduled to have Christmas Eve off, and work the day after Christmas (I have all holidays off). I would rather have the day after Christmas off, so I asked my one coworker to trade and she did. Now I have Christmas and the two days following off. I like having the day off after Christmas, as I can stay at with my family all day and not worry about going to bed early.

 And I am looking forward to the chaos, fun, and laughter of Christmas Day with my family.