Love them like Jesus

 You most likely have never heard of Antonio Rocquemore . I had never heard of him until yesterday. He is now making news for what he did in the church he pastors. He called out a man in his congregation during the church service who was cross dressing, and told him cross dressers are not allowed in his church, and asked him to leave.

  I don't get cross dressing. I have been dealing with being attracted to the same sex for years, but I never wanted to dress like a woman. Sure, I have struggled to feel like a real man all of my life. I am not attracted to women, I hate sports and am no good at them, I am not interested in sports. Yet I never wished I was a woman nor felt like one..nor did I want to dress like one. I already felt less of a man, why on earth would I have wanted to make that worse and more obvious by dressing like a woman?

 Some guys want to do that though. This man may not even be gay or transgender. I have read there are heterosexual men who like to cross dress.

  Back to this incident.My first reaction when I read the story was one of sadness with a bit of indignation. Do I approve of cross dressing? Absolutely not. I believe men should dress like men and look like men. Women should dress like women and look like women.....and I won't go into how that looks. If people cannot tell at first glance if a person is a man or woman, that is wrong. The Bible spells it out pretty clearly that men and women were created to be different, and should look different.

 So if a cross dresser showed up at my church, I'd be slightly uncomfortable. I admit it. Most people at church would be. Many would be uncomfortable if an obviously gay person came.

 But does that excuse this pastor, or excuse the rest of us from doing what is right? What this pastor did was disgraceful. One of my first thoughts was this man will likely never come to God because of that. Would you? If you were sitting in church and the pastor called you out and said your kind wasn't welcome there, would you want to go back to church? Would you want to be around Christians or be interested in the God they serve?

   I have related a similar story on my blog before that happened some years back. A young man was on the worship team at his church and he had same-sex attractions. He went to his pastor to talk about it, and his pastor seemed understanding and said he'd pray for him. At the next service, this disgrace of a pastor related what the young man had told him, turned to where he was standing on the platform, and told him to leave....his kind was not welcome there.

 I cannot imagine the devastation. Not only was he "outted" in front of his whole church, he was ordered to leave and not come back because he was attracted to other guys. When I think of that story, I wonder what happened to that poor guy. Did he stick with God, or did that drive him from God into living the gay lifestyle. Why didn't anyone stick up for him?

  We are dealing with things today that churches haven't had to deal with for years. Most churches are not equipped. My church is poorly equipped to deal with gay people, transgender, cross dressing, etc. I know it. Thankfully I have not experienced anything at church since slowly outting myself a few years ago. I doubt the whole church knows, but maybe they do. Gossip is one of the accepted sins in the church, and we do have a few. If they got hold of the juicy tidbit that I am attracted to guys, they would spread it gleefully.

   But no one knows how to deal with it. My interactions with church people outside of church amount to Facebook, so I don't know if anyone avoids me because of my SSA......but no one ever talks to me about it or asks questions. Most likely it is because no one understands it and don't know what to say.

  The sad truth remains that our churches and pastors are not equipped to deal with this stuff. What would you do if a gay couple walked into your church holding hands? What would you do if a transgender person came and wanted to use the opposite bathroom they should use? What if a cross dresser walked in?

 God said we are to love, and that we do not know Him if we don't. He didn't give exceptions. There are no exceptions with Him. He loves everyone, and has commanded the same of us. OK, maybe politicians are the exception. Just kidding, but we act like it is. :)

  My brother-in-law pastors a church in Canton, OH that is fairly small in attendance...40's, I think. They had a young guy coming for a while, who may still be, who would dress as a woman. They weren't sure how to handle it, but they made him welcome and did not order him to leave.

 The whole LGBTQ thing is messy. I believe there are things we should stand firm on and not cave in. There is a movement determined to force everyone to totally accept every sinful and bizarre behaviors. We cannot compromise, yet we must also love.

  Let me open a window into what it is like to be SSA. I am not going to list everything, but what fits with this blog post. Many gay people struggle to believe God loves them. We tend to be more vulnerable, immature, easily hurt, many have father issues and have a difficult time picturing God as a loving father. Many don't feel they belong anywhere. Many are lonely...maybe most. Many long for a loving physical touch. Many fear rejection and feel they have been rejected all of their lives.

  I have heard many people say it, and I believe it. The gay community isn't about sex. Yeah, gay people are going to have sex with people of the same sex if they are not serving God. But that isn't what the gay community is all about. It is community, belonging, having friends, being around others like them without fearing judgement.

 Then these hurting people come into a church. A lot of them already fear the church. The reaction they get may determine where they spend eternity.

 Love is not approval of one's behavior. That is something we need to truly get. God loves everyone, but does not approve of everything we do.

  This pastor was totally in the wrong. Yeah, it can be messy dealing with the stuff we have today, but that is what the early church was like. There is nothing new under the sun. Read the books of Corinthians. Paul had to deal with some pretty bad stuff in the early church, and I doubt he mentioned everything.

   Something else I have discussed on my blog before is some of the hateful comments I heard at my church regarding gay people. That has been a while...close to 10 years. It has been a topic of discussion in my Sunday School class more recently, and the comments were very compassionate and Christian. It may have helped that several knew they had someone there who has SSA.

  But that should be the norm. No, we don't have to accept these things as OK and normal, but we can love people. Christians should be able to be friends with a gay person, but how many could do that?

 The church needs to be better equipped for these things, but we don't need equipped to love. That should come naturally for any true Christian.