Purpose




Thoughts of a messed up Christian saved by God's grace





Saturday, September 29, 2012

If I got married........

I was thinking about weddings today - no, I am not planning on getting married, but what if I did....... I'd want to change a few things.

First off: what is this deal about it all being about the bride? It seems the day revolves around her. She picks the colors, she picks the songs, she picks who is in the wedding.... usually allowing the groom to pick at least some of the groomsmen, she picks the food for the reception, she picks the cake.....

Wait a minute!!!!!!! What about the other person? The groom? The day is about him just as much as it is about her, isn't it? If it weren't for him, there would be no wedding, no processional, so shouldn't he have equal time and equal say? I think so.

In my experiences of being in weddings and wedding rehearsals, it seems most women suddenly become spoiled brats on their wedding day, wanting everything to be their way. Now I didn't say all women... most women....... :)

And what's this about a bridal shower? First off, is it necessary? She is going to get gifts at the wedding...... oh wait, this is all about HER, so of course she needs her separate little party. Baloney..... I want in on the party if I am getting married, or I want my own. Fair is fair baby cakes!  So this is how it will go:

Ask the girl to marry you, then mutually decide on a date. Now the fun part starts. Oh, you will need a hat of some kind.



1) Decide who to invite. This can get tricky. I say immediate family only, but that would never fly, so maybe throw every one's names in a hat, his side, her side, and both sides, and pull equal amounts out of each hat.

2) Who to have in the wedding. Simple. She picks the chicks, and the dude picks the dudes.

3) Music. Both list the songs they want played and sung, decide on how many for each, and they both get to pick an even amount on each one.

4) Colors. Another easy one. They usually go with 2 colors. He picks one, and she picks one. She gets to pick the color of her dress, and he picks the color of his suit or tux...... oh, and since he is wearing it, he gets to decide tux or suit, tails or no tails.

5) Preacher. If they go to different churches, this could be tricky..... I say throw the choices in a hat and pick one.

6) Church. Same as #5

7) Singers, players. This could get messy, but not necessarily. If the bride and groom are in agreement of who will sing and who will play.... awesome. If not, grab that hat again.



8) Cake. This could be an easy one. Most guys don't care what the cake looks like, but may care the flavor. I say go with half chocolate and half white. Easy.

9) Food. This could be an easy one too, there is such a wide variety of foods available that both should be happy and be able to incorporate both of their tastes and wishes

10) Photos. OK, a pet peeve of mine. The wedding is over, and all the guests go to the hall and sit and wait. And wait. And eat peanuts and those disgusting little mints (oh wait - no mints at my wedding! Peanuts and M&MS) - and wait. For what?! So the bride and groom can ride around town, then get their pictures taken. Wait a minute..... a solution. Actually two ideas:
    Have everyone dress up for the rehearsal and take pictures the night before. Hogwash on the groom not seeing the bride before the wedding in her gown. He knows what she looks like, so what!

or

    Take the pictures before the wedding. Its rude to make people wait!

11) No bride ransom or whatever other method to wrangle extra money out of people. This is a BIG, BIG, pet peeve. The reception finally starts, all is going well, then the groomsmen "kidnap" the bride and a collection is taken up to get her back - this is a poorly disguised effort to get more $$ out of the guests. I think its rude. Everyone already got a gift for the couple, and half of them also gave at the bridal shower (and the groom shower they had since this would be my wedding). Its rude and stupid. Not happening at my wedding. Nope. The wedding party and relatives will be warned ahead of time. And if I were getting married, I'd just handcuff the bride to me. Fix that dumb idea.

12) Cutting the cake. Where did the dumb idea come from of feeding each other cake, then smearing it in their face? I can feed myself, and if I were going to shove it in someones face, how about my new mother-in-law? There's an idea.

13) The gifts. I hate opening stuff in front of people. I say open them in private. People don't need to know what you got, and most probably don't care. Besides, it will clear out the place quicker.



14) The honeymoon. OK, fair is fair. The bride should get an equal say in where, instead of being surprised. What if she doesn't want to go where the guy picked? They should pick a place together, and if they can't decide, I am sure there is a hat lying around somewhere......

You know, after this, I think I have uncovered a buried talent: I could be a wedding planner/co-ordinator. I think I show promise. Coming to a wedding near you soon........

5 comments:

  1. My husband and I opened our presents when we got back from our honeymoon or sometime when we could enjoy it.
    I still love the tradition of not seeing each other the day of the wedding.
    Your ideas of making decisions together is a good on and we did, however most guys could care less about colors and so on. :-)
    I agree about the things that make it look like people just want more gifts: Like having 2 receptions. One in one state and one in another. DUMB! HA HA!!

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  2. It's not about the bride or the groom; it's about their mothers!

    Timothy's axiom regarding wedding expenses: the chance of the marriage succeeding is inversely proportional to the money spent on the wedding.

    However, don't skimp on the photographer! The bride's dress can get ripped (my wife's did), the cake can fall over (they caught it just in time) and the mints be as hard as concrete because your future mother-in-law didn't keep them refrigerated but the pictures have to be perfect! I interviewed the photographer and found a very talented one who specialized in weddings. No one remembers that other stuff; they just remember the great pictures. We have friends who weren't so lucky.

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  3. Number 8? Exactly what we did :)
    The gifts? We had o open them that day, there was family out of state and they would've been very hurt if we would've waited. Anyone was welcome to stay, or leave. :)
    I did pick the girls, he picked the guys. Problem is, he forgot to ask one of the ushers. The night of the rehearsal his aunt looks at the wedding party list and goes "oh no!" We didn't find out until later, but they really had to scramble so they could find him a suit.
    and really? Who cares if its perfect or not? Our cake fell over and I just laughed!

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  4. When my husband and I got married it was about both of us. He was at my shower, he "helped" pick the invitations (but mostly let me do that), we both had a decision in who was in the wedding, I guess I did pick the songs as he is not that much into music, but we both picked the food. It wasn't just about me that day it was about us both, which is how it should be. He helped pick the cake even though he is not a cake eater.

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  5. Hmm, I've never heard things done the way you are describing. We made all of our decisions together for our wedding. I did have a bridal shower, typically that is done so that the woman gets things to start her household with. Fun things like vacuum cleaners and towels! The wedding gifts are typically cash to help the couple start out. We opened our wedding gifts in the privacy of our apartment with just close family when we returned from our honeymoon. The guy usually has a bachelor party too, so that's something the girl doesn't have usually.

    Never heard of a bride ransom? That sounds weird!

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