Purpose




Thoughts of a messed up Christian saved by God's grace





Monday, July 23, 2012

Forgiveness

This is a sad statement to make, but I really have a hard time with forgiveness. And not just when it involves me doing it, but when it involves me receiving it.

There have been things done and said to me, that I have a really hard time forgiving. I think I have forgiven the person, and then up it pops days, months, even years later. It is so easy to hold a grudge. Why is that?

And on the flip side, it isn't any different. When I hurt someone, I have a hard time believing I am forgiven. I feel like I need to atone over and over.

Even with God.

It could be partly due to the way I was raised, having preachers who seemingly loved to scare people into going to the altar at camps and revivals, and even in their home church. For someone like me, it just helped reinforce the idea that I could never be good enough.

And it hasn't helped that I have to deal with a "besetting sin." I always feel like I need to do more, that even though I asked God to forgive me, He hasn't quite totally done so.

But the thing is, when God forgives us, He remembers it against us no more. It has been said that it is just as if I'd never sinned. Sounds simple, yet profound. So why is it so hard to grasp?

I have been doing better with the forgiving issue lately. Maybe it is part of growing older. I have come to learn that just because someone disagrees with me, does not mean they are personally attacking me, though some can do so.

I have learned that holding a grudge does me no good, only harm. While I am stewing and dredging it over and over, the guilty party isn't even thinking about it, and is going on their merry way. Meanwhile I am miserable. Forgiving someone isn't just for their sake - it is for ours also. Maybe more so. Most of the time, the person will never know  you made the choice to actively forgive them, and it will make no difference in their life. However, it makes a big difference in ours. And besides, God commands us to do so.

Back in October, I was privlegded to go hear the Gaither Vocal Band in concert, along with a few guest groups. One of those groups was the Issacs, who does mostly bluegrass music, not a favorite of mine. They sang a song new to me that was from a CD that had just come out. I loved it. Not only was it pleasing to the ears, but it has a great message. As soon as intermission came, I went and bought the CD. The song is "Why Can't We?" Lyrics and video below. Check it out.

Why Can’t We?

By Rebecca Bowman Isaacs, Sonya Isaacs Yeary, and Jimmy Yeary

Verse 1:
He lies awake there all alone every night
Lookin’ back on all of his mistakes
Wishin’ through the tears that he could just go back
Cause there’s a lot of things he’d like to change
He just can’t forgive himself and forget
Even though God already did

Chorus:
If He can love someone
And find the good within
In spite of what they’ve done
No matter where they’ve been
If He can let it go
And set the debtor free
If He can keep forgiving you and me
Why can’t we

Verse 2:
There’ve been times I’ve been so hurt by someone else
I didn’t wanna give a second chance
I let all the bitterness take control
And took grace into my own hands
But even Jesus said whoever’s done no wrong
Let him throw the first stone

Chorus:
If He can love someone
And find the good within
In spite of what they’ve done
No matter where they’ve been
If He can let it go
And set the debtor free
If He can keep forgiving you and me
Why can’t we

Bridge:
He was hated and rejected
Betrayed by those He trusted
Even hanging on the cross
He said Father please forgive them

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