Surrendering sex, introduction

**Disclaimer: This is not going to be an x-rated blog post, but it is going to be about sex...... which some people are uncomfortable about being discussed. I get that. I believe we need to talk more about it than we do.... in church, in Sunday School (adults), in our homes....it should not be a taboo subject. But you have been warned. Read on, if you dare.......and this could get long, so this will be the introduction and I will continue it in another post:

  One of my Facebook friends messaged me yesterday about an idea to blog about. He had thought about asking his wife to blog about it, but thought maybe it would be better coming from a male.... so I hope I can give this idea of his justice. He said it might be a controversial subject, but if you know me very well at all, you know I don't shy from controversial....... probably to the dismay of many people who know me.

  I have said it before, and I completely include myself in this statement: too many of us modern day American Christians don't do such a great job on one of Jesus' commands to His followers: take up your cross, deny yourself, and follow me. We tend to do what we want, and interpret the Bible so living the Christian life isn't difficult or inconvenient in any way. That is not truly following Jesus, but too many of us do exactly that.

 There is an old hymn we still sing in church occasionally:

All to Jesus, I surrender;
All to Him I freely give;
I will ever love and trust Him,
In His presence daily live.

Refrain

I surrender all, I surrender all,
All to Thee, my blessed Savior,
I surrender all.

All to Jesus I surrender;
Humbly at His feet I bow,
Worldly pleasures all forsaken;
Take me, Jesus, take me now.

Refrain

All to Jesus, I surrender;
Make me, Savior, wholly Thine;
Let me feel the Holy Spirit,
Truly know that Thou art mine.

Refrain

All to Jesus, I surrender;
Lord, I give myself to Thee;
Fill me with Thy love and power;
Let Thy blessing fall on me.

Refrain

All to Jesus I surrender;
Now I feel the sacred flame.
O the joy of full salvation!
Glory, glory, to His Name!

Refrain

  Have we surrendered ALL to Jesus? Everything, all areas of out lives..... even, gasp! - sex?!

  Here is what my friend messaged me, and what I will try to address in a separate blog post:

I have a controversial idea for a post. It occurred to me and I wonder if my mindset is biblical or just an idea. Here it is... As a married man, there are long droughts without sex. That's reality. Sometimes that is harder than it was when single because of expectations. In between children it could go months...in between because of medical, timing, cycle...it can go weeks. This is reality. If you look through Christian literature or blogs...especially the likes of Driscoll, you'll find many suggestions or explanations which are centered around self...centered around satisfying longing desires but nothing about prayer and no sex. Nothing about selflessness...and reality....which puts pressure on the marriage...which creates a vision of the female of a vessel that satisfies the flesh instead of oneness...the purpose for sex becoming mostly a vehicle of satisfying desires or the flesh instead of desiring a relationship...a bond...closeness with the other person, i.e. a picture of the bridegroom of Christ...respect and love for the other person..selfless, sacrifice...working as help-meets..As Christians, our goal should be different....and I think this is partly the reason for a dependency by Christian males on porn. Imagine the justification...not getting needs met...well, those aren't needs...that's your flesh winning...your desire for your wife should be different....it should be a relationship...a closeness....a draw towards oneness. You get what I mean? I think it messes up married men's views of women...I also think it messes up...puts a barrier between men and God. I think a post like this could be a controversial, but needed element for the church...for men and women frankly. Someone in your shoes who chooses the bridegroom of Christ in singleness...who understands putting Christ above self...who truly gets it...could put the scripture in line and write a dazzling post on this topic. I thought about having my wife write it, but I think it would have better traction as a male writer.