Thoughts of a messed up Christian saved by God's grace

Wednesday, October 5, 2016

A bachelor looks at women's parties

**Disclaimer: this post was done in fun, and I did exaggerate on some things. My opinions of these parties are for real, and are also the opinions of this blog site owner.....which would be me, by the way.....

One of the advantages of being a guy, is you never get invited to parties where you are expected to buy stuff. It is one of the awesome perks of being a guy.

  And ladies, let me clue you in on something you all seem a little clueless about - no offense intended - these parties are not a good deal. I am going to break something to you that maybe you'd better sit down for:

You see the company needs to make money

The dealer needs to make money

The party hostess needs to make money or points so they can get free stuff

You are not getting a good deal......there are too many people in between you and the manufacturer who gets a piece of  the pie.

And the more pieces of pie being dealt out, the more expensive the pie gets.

  So they invite their unsuspecting friends. Wake up ladies, you are being used. You think you got invited because you're a good friend of the party giver. Wrong. When they look at you through the lens of their party, they don't see a friend. They don't even see a person. They see dollar signs and/or points.

 Me being the nice guy at least some people think I am, I am going to help you unsuspecting females out, so you can save some money.


  Pretty pricey plastic containers to keep food in. By the time the company gets their cut, the dealer gets her cut, the hostess gets her cut...... you are paying way more than you need for something to put leftovers in.

 Now I have a great way for you to save money here: Whipped topping containers. They come in a couple of different sizes...... and they are cheap.

 And get this: They aren't empty when you buy them! They are filled with delicious whipped topping. You get more for your money than when you buy an empty expensive plastic container from Tupperware.

 Oh, and your friend is just having the party so she can get free plastic containers.......just give her a few whipped topping containers instead of going to the party. You save money, and she gets what she wanted all along - free plastic containers to put her leftovers in!


  OK, this one really boggles my mind. Women go all to pieces over these purses/bags that all look like a diaper bag. Seriously, they do.

Below, are 31 bags - well, there are actually only 12, but the brand is 31. Look them over carefully.

Now look at the picture below. It is an actual diaper bag....... see how closely they resemble each other?

  Now let me be bluntly honest. If you are constantly carrying around a diaper bag - or what looks like a diaper bag - people are going to assume something about you.

1) They will assume you have a baby. They may wonder where the baby is........ but they will assume you have a baby

2) They will assume you are going to have a baby, and that you getting in practice carrying a diaper bag around.

  If you are single and looking, you do not want prospective boyfriends to assume you are pregnant.... they may run for it.

 If you are married, people are going to assume you just had another baby....... and they will think you are an irresponsible mother who forgot the baby at home.

  So just go buy an actual purse.... they can run a lot cheaper than the 31 bags. By your friend one and maybe she won't invite you to more parties.....

Trim healthy mama
  THM is new to me, and I was surprised to find they have parties. I can't imagine what they would eat there....... forget having good snacks. It would be something small, tasteless, and guaranteed to leave you hungry, but trim.

 My advice: this being a party is going to make the product more expensive anyway, so come up with your own diet. It is cheaper, and you won't have to go to a party where they have no good snacks. Besides, it is so discriminatory. What if you have no kids and are not a mamma? What if you aren't trim? And what if you're not health...... and horrors, what if you're none of the three?!

 The grocery store doesn't discriminate. Go there and save money.... and buy your friend a stalk of celery. She just wants stuff to make her healthy and trim, and celery is cheaper than what you'd spend at the party.

  This place doesn't have dealers. They have "consultants".....sounds more expensive to me than a dealer......

  They have candles and other similar products that can be bought much cheaper at other places. You can get good deals at Yankee Candle, and Wal-mart even has a good selection of scented candles and warmers, etc. 

 Check out the Dollar Tree, Dollar General, and Family Dollar.....very cheap, especially the dollar tree. 

 Skip the party and save lots of money. So your friend doesn't feel bad, go to the Dollar Tree and buy her a few candles at $1 each....... that is all she wants anyway.....free candles. 

Essential oils

  I can't help it... I find the idea of essential oils a bit hooey. OK, a lot hooey. It brings to mind stories of snake oil salesmen of the Old West. I like to joke that my essential oils are Valvoline and Crisco..... but they seriously are.

 As with any party, you are just helping the hostess get free stuff, and the people above her make money. Skip the hooey and buy your friend some Crisco, and maybe some Valvoline also. You'll get off cheaper, and she will get what she wanted - free essential oils.

Origami Owl

  When I first heard of this company, I thought it was what it sounded like....origami. To my surprise, I eventually found out there is no origami, nor does it have anything to do with an owl.

 It is jewelry. Well, you lost me right there since I don't wear jewelry..... unless ring around the collar counts.....

  I see stores running 70% off jewelry often..... buy your bling there, and buy one for the party giver. You'll save money, and she'll have bling to wear.

Pampered Chef
 This one surely could have been named better. It makes me think of an adult male wearing pampers while he cooks....... uh, no thanks.

 In reality, it is just expensive cooking utensils, pans, and other things you could buy much cheaper at Walmart, or the Dollar General.

 Take out the middle man - or women in this case - and go to Walmart or a Dollar General. Buy a cookie sheet for a few bucks for your friend, and you'll all be happy and you will save money.

Book party
 To my disappointment, a book party is also nothing like it sounds. I would think a place where you could meet and order books and talk about books. Nope! A book party is where the lady wanting free stuff is too cheap or lazy to have a party at her house..... or maybe she is a terrible housekeeper..... so she passes out books to all of her victims...... I mean friends......so they can order out of the book. It is a win-win situation. They can pay more for something they didn't really want in the first place, and it helps make the company and dealer (or consultant) richer.

 Oh well, a real book party would probably make me pay more for the books than I would from where I usually buy them.

 Though there may be food.........

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