An extra day

  Ever wish you had an extra day? If so, what would you do with it? Catch up on laundry and housework? Read? Binge on Netflix?

  Well, guess what.... you do have an extra day. We all do. This is leap year, a year when an extra day is tacked onto the month we are in, February. It is also the year that women are supposedly allowed to ask men out, instead of the way it has been done traditionally. That actually happened to me 3 leap years ago. I have no idea if it was because of leap year, but a young lady at least 10 years younger - possibly more like 13 - asked me out on a date. She even knew my issues and why I was single, and was still interested in me. Did I mention she was blind? Just kidding....but it was a surprise. And I said no, because I knew it would never work out.

  Four years ago, I penned (typed?) a similar blog about having an extra day. I decided then to do what I am going to do with my extra day this year. Seriously, if we have an extra day, shouldn't we do something different or special? Granted, the extra day is the 29th, and I will be doing something special on the 24th. And the 25th.

  The Amish part of Ohio is about an hour from me. Well, since I moved, it may be a little further. There is an inn there called the Dutch Host Inn that has what they call package deals during their slower times. The idea is to draw more people in than they would normally have. My one sister and her husband had done it a few times, and my parents also had done it. I looked it up, and the prices were for couples. So, I called and asked if one person could do it, and not only could they....the inn knocked $10 off for one person. So I made the reservation, went, and had a jolly time.

 The prices are different, depending on when in the week you go. Monday and Tuesday are $94.95. $84.95 for me :) - Thursday and Saturday are $104.95, and Friday is $114.95. The price includes one night's stay at the inn, plus a bunch of free stuff. I have done it a few times now, and I try to get there on Monday morning around 9:00. I check in, and get my packet of coupons  for places all over the area, covering different towns.

 This year, this package inclcludes:

 Breakfast at your choice of 3 different restaurants

Supper (or dinner for you odd people) at your choice of 3 different restaurants

A pound of cheese

A pound of ham off the bone

A loaf of bread

2 fry pies

1/2 gallon of apple cider

9 oz jar of jam or jelly

A bottle of BBQ sauce or seasoning

9 oz jar of Christmas jam

1 pound bag of brownie mix

a pair of socks

2 large sleeves of flavored popcorn

a personalized bookmark or pen

2 leather coasters

2 engraved wooden coasters

a kitchen utensil

a jar of mustard (yuk)

a ball candle

20% off purchase at a Christian bookstore

20% off purchase at Collectors Decanters and Steins (doubt I'll use it, though I did get a couple of magnets there once)

  Each of those items is from a different business. I have added up approximate totals, and it comes to more than what I pay for the room. Some things, I know what they cost. The BBQ sauce is $7.99. The two meals come close to $30. It is well worth it.

 I love the area, and am hoping the weather is nice enough that I can park and wander the streets of Berlin, my favorite town over there. There is a used bookstore in Millersburg, OH I discovered on my last trip over there, and I am planning on going there again.

 I always hit the majority of places Monday. You can't get in your room til 2, so I head back to the inn around that time. I relax, look over my treasures I have accumulated, then head for Mrs Yoders Kitchen in Mt Hope, and get their buffet......which has awesome fried chicken on it. I then head back to the inn and read and/or watch a movie.

 I get up Tuesday morning and hit the Dutch Valley Restaurant for their breakfast buffet. It is the closest of the 3 restaurants available for the free breakfast, visible from the inn. I then go out and hit the remaining places I haven't been to. The place offering the free fry pies is not open on Mondays, so I have to save it for Thursday.

  Maybe I am the only one who needs an extra day, a day to get away from it all. Life has been rough lately. My depression is worse than ever, and that is with medications. The way so many have acted towards me for daring to oppose a president with an R by his name has made it worse, along with the constant praise and defense of such a corrupt bully. No one may understand why and how, but the whole politics and Trump over Christianity and how people are treated has torpedoed my faith. People in my own church who won't shop on Sunday or watch TV, along with a lot of outward stuff, don't care about honesty and attack anyone who disagrees with DT...false accusations and attempts to squash freedoms of speech abound from those who are supposed to be like Jesus, but act far from it. I have no confidence in my church or its teachings anymore, and evangelical Christianity has been hijacked by politics and a corrupt billionaire. Christians defend and are OK with adultery, strip clubs, sexual assault, vulgarity, etc.....and even what Trump is guilty of but got acquitted for.....yet still rail against the sin I battle daily....and for what? False accusations and attacks on me and others for daring to hold a politician to the same standards they used to. Losing my faith in my church, its teachings, evangelical Christianity, and the Republican Party hasn't all been bad.....it has shown me that Jesus is all that matters. Being a true Christian isn't anything to do with my church, its teachings, American Christianity, conservatism, etc....it is about a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. So many Christians in my life have no idea what I am battling daily. If they knew, I hope they would change and stop the false accusations and lies......but the blind loyalty to a corrupt politician is an obsession so radical, that I fear nothing would change. I have true concerns about how obsessed so many Christians are with DT, to the point that defending him is more important than being like Jesus and how they treat people.

 Didn't mean to get political, but that stuff is taking a toll on me, and getting away from it is important and necessary.

 I need to get away from all that. Yeah, I have un-followed a lot of people and political pages......but I need a day for just me that I focus on having fun and mental health. I love the area over where I am going, and I love to shop. Hopefully my tax refund will have come by then, which will make it even better.

 February 24th can't come too soon.

Thoughts on a day off in November.....life is good

 Many people dread Mondays..... but I don't. I have Sundays and Mondays off, and I love Mondays. Tuesdays are a different matter, they are to me what Mondays are to different people.

  My day off:

  I slept in til 8:42. Don't judge me.... I went to bed at 1:30. I got around and went to Salem, and hit the Goodwill Store there where I bought a small radio/alarm clock that will play an iPod. I have one already for my bedroom, but I wanted something to play music in the library that I plan on having when I move.

   From there, I went to Walmart and got a few things I needed, than was off to KFC to meet a friend for lunch. She is a conservative and is reluctantly voting for Trump, but we had a very civil conversation on that as we caught up on politics and a lot of other things.

 On my way home, I made an unscheduled stop at the covered bridge near me. It is close to one of the entrances to the biking/walking trail that I walk on often, so I took a walk while I was there. I always walk with my iPod, but had not brought it with me, so I walked in silence, enjoying the sounds of nature around me as I walked quietly through the woods. I stopped at the bridge again, and prayed for a short while on the bridge with the sounds of the water rippling under my feet.

The house

  The last few days have been stressful and frustrating. I found out on Friday that some general repairs need done on my house, and I have no idea yet what needs done before closing, which has been moved to Thursday, and may not happen even then. I'd like to get my realtor and loan officer together and bang their heads together......maybe they'd get on the ball and figure it out then. It is frustrating having everything up in the air.

The election

 And then the election...... I am still disgusted and frustrated at my party for nominating a man like Donald Trump, and am beyond frustrated at the Christians defending and excusing his behavior and politics.....plus their attempts to scare or shame me into voting for him. You would think other Christians wouldn't attempt to get you to go against your conscience and what you feel God wants....... but when it comes to Hillary Clinton, they'd be OK with you selling your soul if it meant stopping her. All the anti-Christ will need to do to be accepted by Christians, is run against Hillary Clinton.......

 I have not been posting much about Trump, not because I believe as Trump supporters believe, that I have no right to speak up if I am not for him, but because I weary of the backlash..... however, today I posted a few things to make people think. And just between you and I...... I turned off notifications and only read a few. No, I am not chicken, I just refuse to be dragged into debating and arguing.

Last night......

  I wasn't feeling too great last night, a headache and what felt like bad indigestion. Plus, I was frustrated and feeling down about house and election stuff.  My church has Sunday evening services, and I opted out last night and stayed home. After relaxing for a while, I went upstairs and sat down at the piano. I am not a great note reader, and have been blessed with the ability to play by ear. I sat there and played songs as they came to mind for at least an hour. Songs like I Surrender All, There's Something About That Name, Thou Art Worthy, Worthy The Lamb, and many others. At some point, I realized I was quietly worshiping God there in the living room, just me, Him, and the piano.

 That stayed with me the rest of the night. As I prayed before I went to bed, I was more convinced than ever that God will work everything out with the house and that I can trust Him for the election. I have a peace in my heart that I am doing the right thing by doing a write-in. I still believe either candidate is going to be bad for America and our freedoms and safety, but God brought us through 8 years of the worst president so far, He will bring us through either of these two horrible candidates also.

 One thing we all have been guilty of this election, is fear and not trusting God. Hillary has been made into such a monster, that some would sell their souls to stop her... or so it would seem. People supporting and voting for Trump are so scared they seem to have forgotten to trust God. And people like me are so scared of Hillary AND Trump, that we have also given into fear and forgotten to trust God. Fear is ruling conservatives and Christians in the Republican Party, and I am tired of it ruling me.

 Do I have concerns? Yes...no matter who wins....... but God will still be in control, and He will be with us no matter what happens. And for the record, the moment Trump won the nomination, I felt that sealed the presidency for Hillary and accepted that fact.

My current status

  For so many years, I was shallow, trying to serve God out of the fear of going to hell, and being ruled by fear of people finding out my secret I carried. My same-sex attractions controlled me, and it was a constant battle to stay on top. I didn't believe God loved me, and was just waiting for me to mess up so He could toss me out.

 That changed in December of 2013, as I finally came to the belief God loves me more than I could ever imagine, no matter what I do or don't do. That is a miracle I don't take lightly, and it has changed my relationship with God and my outlook on life. I still have a lot of growing to do, and many rough edges God needs to work on, but the difference in me may not be visible to others, but believe me......there is a miraculous difference.

 Then something else changed this year. I had slowly been hinting at my secret struggle in blog posts for a while, and a few times I was so obvious that it would take a very dull person to not figure out what I was talking about. And then one day I did it: I came right out on my blog - out of the closet, so to speak -  and admitted that I, Mark Buzard, am attracted to men, and not women. It was risky, I'll admit. I knew I could lose friends, that some would judge me, that others may fear me, that some may think all kinds of crazy things.......but I did it.

 And again, the change in me has been miraculous. The very thing that has had a hold on me for so many years has lost its grip on me. I may never be attracted to women, and that is OK. I am not sure I want to marry at this point anyway. I am still attracted to other males, but it is only guys I don't know well and/or feel intimidated by. The truth does indeed set you free. As I have come out of the shadows and admitted this long held secret, my relationship with God has deepened, my self confidence has grown, and my outlook on life has become much more positive.

 I may at some point blog about what it is like to deal with this issue, especially as a guy growing up in a very conservative church. I have drafted a couple of posts about it, but haven't finished them yet, or decided if I will post them.

The road ahead

    Eight years ago, I moved back to Ohio from Indiana and moved in with my parents, while putting most of my belongings into storage. It was supposed to be temporary, but thanks to severe depression, unemployment, part time jobs, and other things, here I am 8 years later still under their roof and under foot.

 I had almost given up on getting out on my own yet, one source of my depression...... but here I stand on the verge of moving into my own place and having a long time dream happen.....a room I can make a library.

 My depression is very minor, I have a job I like, I feel closer to God than I have ever felt in my life, I am at peace with this same-sex attraction and am freed from the hold it held on me. I am looking at a future as a single male, and one of what could be very many lonely moments, but I have God. I may have friends desert me for not supporting Trump, for having attractions to other guys, for not living up to their expectations....... but that is OK. I have friends who will love and support me no matter what, and a family that loves me and supports me through everything. Life is good, because God is.

P.S. If you have read this far, pray that everything will work out with this house I am buying.

Life is good

Verse 1
Sycamore seeds blowing in the breeze
Sap is rinsing in the branches in the trees
Birds are singing and life is good
Fire up the tiller and break those rows
A trip to the feed store everybody knows
Spring's around the corner, and life is good

Chorus:
Life is good cause God is
Life is good cause I'm His
Springing up new life growing in the sun 
Walking hand in hand and we're having some fun
Life is so, so good.

Verse 2
Breathing God's fresh air, clear blue sky
Dancing in the wind and a big fish fry
Jumping in the river and life is good
Sittin' in the green grass side by side
Counting my blessings with a tear in my eye
Church in the morning, and life is good

Chorus:
Life is good cause God is
Life is good cause I'm His
Springing up new life growing in the sun 
Walking hand in hand and we're having some fun
Life is so, so good.


 

A day in Amish country

  Monday is always my second of two days off, and I usually shop a bit and eat out. Today, I did something different: I drove to Sugarcreek, Ohio, which is in the Amish part of Ohio. I started the day out with breakfast at the Dutch Valley Restaurant, and man was it good.

 Then I drove over to the main street of town, and since I was too early for my main reason for visiting the area today, walked around a bit. I visited the world's largest cuckoo clock, and took some pictures and also a video when the hour hit. A bird comes out at the top and does its thing, and then some mechanical figures join the two that are already out there. The girl and guy dance, while the other figures are supposedly playing the music that plays. It lasts close to three minutes.

   My reason for visiting the area was two Christian fiction authors were at a small bookstore there, and I wanted to meet them: Tracie Peterson and Kimberly Woodhouse. I am friends with Kimbery on Facebook, and have gotten to know her pretty well through it, but had never met her. It was awesome to meet both ladies, and I got to chat with them for around 45 minutes since no one came in after I did. I have been curious for a long time how two authors collaborated, especially when they don't live near each other, so they told me a little about their process. I parted ways, and headed out to do some shopping.

 I hit up a thrift store, and got a few CDs for $1 each, then headed to my next stop: Walnut Creek Cheese...which is much more than cheese....... but it is in Walnut Creek.  I went there for fry pies. If you have never had them, think those hostess pies that are usually apple or cherry..... only tons better, and several other flavors. I know, not in my diet, but I don't get them very often.

 I then headed to Millersburg to go to one of my favorite places: Heini's Cheese. Their main thing IS cheese, and they have tons of samples: cheese, fudge, salsas, beef sticks, relish, dips, etc... and I sampled a lot. The best buys there is a bin of cheese ends.... mostly misshapen odd pieces of cheese that are marked at less expensive prices. I loaded up, and headed for Berlin, OH.

 Berlin is a cool town with all sorts of shops. I parked my car at one end of town, and wandered all over Berlin, going in and out of shops, not buying anything until I reached the Gospel Bookstore. For the same of Christmas surprises, I won't say what I bought there, but they did have just what I was looking for :) This store is odd in that it is inside of a grocery store. You go in the grocery store, and the bookstore is straight ahead of you with its own entrance and walls. Kind of odd, but they have a big selection of the best music..... Southern Gospel.

 I headed home and happened upon another thrift store.....I can't pass them up often, so I stopped and bought a few things there.

 My trip ended on an amusing note:

I stopped off at a little post office today to mail a package. As the friendly lady behind the counter was weighing the package, I spied a flag on the counter mounted on a plastic base with a button on it. Curious as to what it did, I pressed the button. ...it played a whole verse and chorus of the national anthem....loudly

I commented that it must get annoying to hear that all the time. With a bit of a smirk, she replied "usually it's just kids that play it".

  I am thankful for a beautiful day I had to enjoy Amish country. I couldn't have asked for better weather, and am thankful to God for a safe trip, and for a great day off.

Amish getaway day #2, part 2

 

(If you're bothering to read my travel diary, read day 1 and day 2 part one before this :)

 On my way to Dalton, I spotted an interesting sign: "Faith Books, 1 mile." I cannot pass up a bookstore, so I turned around, and headed down a country road and kept an eye out for the store. It wasn't hard to find, and was a very nice store. They had a ton of music that seemed to be local groups, mostly local. There were a few CDs of nationally known Southern Gospel and CCM mixed in. The prices were pretty high, so I browsed, took a picture of a very cute horse hitched up to a small cart, and headed off to Dalton again.

  I got to P Graham Dunn around noon, and browsed for a long time, watching the workers below through the glass and shopping. I was looking for some pictures for my nephews' rooms as per my sister, but found nothing like they were wanting. I got a few things from their outlet room, and had something engraved for my parents, which to my surprise was half off - a Tuesday special.

  The young lady who had helped me told me about an interesting place to shop that my sister had said I should go to in nearby Kidron Ohio: Lehman Brothers Hardware. I decided to check it out, but got distracted by the pond in front of P Graham Dunn that had a small deck/dock on the water and a small chapel. I visited both of them and wandered around a bit by the pond, and then headed for Lehman Brothers.

  Lehman Brothers Hardware is an amazing store. The "hardware" part of their name does not begin to describe what they carry.... they carry everything. Books, food, toys, kitchen supplies, hardware. There is a cafe that has some sitting area behind bars, which is cool. There is a room that has large 3 D pictures a man carved out of wood. And the place is enormous. I was wanting to go home, so I browsed a bit, bought a bottle of sarsaparilla to try, and left for home, getting here around 3:25.

  I had a blast. This was the first kind of trip for me all by myself. Would it have been fun with someone? Of course, but it was fun with just me also. I did things at my own pace, stopped where I wanted, and just enjoyed being off by myself.

 And again, these 3 blog posts are more for me to look back on later, than for anyone else..... though anyone is welcome to read them. I'd thought about journaling, but this way I could put my pictures with what I wrote. It was time and money well spent.

Amish getaway day #2, part 1

Day #2 of my Amish getaway and of my travel diary. I had planned on getting up at 8 and heading for breakfast, but woke up at 7 and got up around 7:20. I got a shower, had my devotions, dressed, and headed to the Dutch Valley restaurant.... the closest thing to the inn by far on this trip. The coupon/voucher was for a free breakfast buffet, drink not included. The hostess was awesome and did not ask that annoying question "JUST one?" I even complimented her on it, and she replied there is nothing wrong with one person eating out, and that she does it.

  The buffet was pretty impressive, and had way too much food for me to try. First trip: egg casserole, 2 kinds of sausage, bacon, ham, and potato wedges with cheese sauce over them. Second trip; Sausage gravy over a biscuit, more sausage links,  and bread pudding. Trip three: Another piece of bread pudding (it was really good) and 2 small pancakes. I paid for the sweet tea I had had, and came back to  the room for a few to get more vouchers.

  I went to downtown Sugarcreek to check out a couple of other places I had vouchers for. First up was another bookstore: The Gospel Shop, which had a 20% off your entire purchase I found a few books and bookmarks I wanted, then discovered the world's giant cuckoo clock was almost directly across the street. I had been wanting to go see it, but didn't know it had been moved and didn't want to travel to the town it was in...... so that was a pleasant surprise to discover it had been moved, Unfortunately, they have it shut down during the winter, so I did not get to see it in motion.

  I walked back to my car and was trying to find out where the next place I was going to, and discovered I was sitting in front of it. It was a decanter store, so a lot of the merchandise was related to the consumption of alcohol..... which I don't do. I found a couple of items around $4 that I liked that had nothing to do with beer, and used their 20% voucher on them.

 Then it was back to my room to pack up and head out before the 11 check out time. I still had a few places to go, and headed for Lamp and Light Candles for a free flower pot candle.... the store was poorly names. Candles they had, but no lights.... it was Amish owned and run out by some farms. They didn't even take debit cards, and being as I only had $3 in cash, I figured there was no reason to shop.

  The next stop for me was P Graham Dunn in Walnut Creek. They make and sell pictures and wooden products among others, and do a lot of imprinting. I got a very nice metal memo pad holder that has a pen and 3 memo pad refills, and had my name and a cross put on it. I decided to get some gifts for Easter and have engraved, so I went down the road about a mile to my next free item while the engraving was going on.

  Hillcrest Orchards gave a voucher for a 1/2 gallon of apple cider. While there, I stepped out onto an observation deck and took a few pictures, discovered free samples of hot and cold cider - I love samples! - and bought a few items. The people running it were very nice, and when I asked a young guy about an apple I was unfamiliar with, he told me I could have one to try, but I just bought the apples untried.

 Armed with my free cider (which is really good!), I went back to pick up my items that had been engraved. I decided to pass on the last few free items as they were far out of my way, and I had decided to head home a different way and go the main P Graham Dunn in Dalton, Ohio. (It is much larger than the one I had just visited.)

  As I was leaving, I discovered a covered bridge I had not noticed previously. I love covered bridges, so I detoured to walk on it, drive across it, and take some pictures.

  After looking and acting like I'd never seen a covered bridge before, I headed out for the 30 minute trip to Dalton, Ohio..... though a 30 minute drive was not meant to be. Contined in another post.. this has too many pictures already :)