Waiting

   I had something amazing happen last night that only local people can truly understand and appreciate. I was shopping in the very busy suburb of Youngstown, Boardman. This town has everything - a mall, plenty of other shopping places, and tons of restaurants. A little after 5 pm, I pulled out onto the main busy 4-lane road running through Boardman. I was headed for the Salvation Army Store, and if I count right in my mind, there are at least 7 traffic lights between my starting point and my destination....... and I got all of them green. That never happens when there aren't many cars, but at that time of day, it was almost a miracle.

 Newsflash: I hate waiting. Patience is not a virtue I excel at. I hate waiting in lines, following slow people, waiting for trains, getting behind a school bus, waiting in waiting rooms, and obviously waiting at red lights.

  I am waiting right now, and it isn't that much fun. I started this house-buying process two months ago tomorrow, and it has been up and down lately. Yes, everything is going through, no it isn't, yes it is, and on and on. Thursday, after a call from my realtor, it seemed God had answered prayer and it was going to work out, and then a phone call from the loan officer shot that down. Three days later, I am waiting..... waiting to hear from either the realtor or the loan officer.

 And yet, I feel I have been waiting for so much longer than that. It has been 8 years since I moved back to Ohio and into what I thought would be a temporary stay with my parents. Eight years later, a bankruptcy, deep depression, lots of ups and downs, unemployment, part time jobs, times when God seemed millions of miles away...... after all of that, I finally stand on the edge of again owning my own place, and getting out on my own again.

 And I wait. I wait for a phone call that will either tell me everything is again on course and I can finally close on this house, or a phone call telling me what I don't want to hear, and that I'll have to back out.

  As I have been waiting these 8 years,  I have found out something about waiting. It can either drive further from God, or it can drive me to my knees and closer to Him. I wish I could say the latter has been true all of these 8 years, but it hasn't. It hasn't been true most of my life. I feel like I have always been waiting. Waiting to be "normal", waiting to get to the point I could marry, waiting for the perfect job, waiting for people to befriend me, waiting, waiting, waiting......

  I wish I had let waiting draw me closer to God all of these years, but I often lost patience and faith instead. Thankfully, I can honestly say this waiting I have experienced lately has done the opposite, and has drawn me closer to God. That isn't to say I am enjoying the waiting, but I do believe it is in God's hands and if it doesn't work out, then He has a better house for me.

 As I typed this blog post, a song came to my mind that made an impression on me the first time I heard it, and pretty much any time I have heard it. The man who wrote and record it got his musical career launched when the song was used in the movie Fireproof. The music video below has scenes from the movie. If you have never heard this great song, give it a listen.

I’m waiting
I’m waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I’m waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait

I will move ahead, bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience

While I’m waiting
I will serve You
While I’m waiting
I will worship
While I’m waiting
I will not faint
I’ll be running the race
Even while I wait

I’m waiting
I’m waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I’m waiting on You, Lord
Though it’s not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
Yes, I will wait

I will serve You while I’m waiting
I will worship while I’m waiting
I will serve You while I’m waiting
I will worship while I’m waiting
I will serve You while I’m waiting
I will worship while I’m waiting on You, Lord