Thoughts of a messed up Christian saved by God's grace

Wednesday, March 30, 2016

A gay balance

   It is difficult for me to find a balance that is necessary  with the issues of gay marriage, homosexuality, and the gay agenda. Gay marriage is here to stay. The gay agenda's leaders are marching as hard and as fast as they can over our freedoms and our rights. Our next president could alter those freedoms and rights forever. The wrong president will put justices on the Supreme Court who could further gay rights and diminish the rights and freedoms of Christians. This is not an anti-Trump post, but it scares me who he might appoint to those seats if he has the chance.

 Both part's front runners could do immense damage to religious freedoms.  Chelsea Clinton has promised the gay lobby that her mom will use executive orders to further gay rights. Donald Trump has promised to further gay rights, yet Christians and conservatives follow him like he is a messiah.

  The gay agenda needs to be fought. The most extreme of them want gay sex education taught to kids as  young as Kindergarten. I have read things not fit to print here that has been taught and tried to be taught in schools. Many want it criminalized to say homosexuality is wrong. Some of them even want to force churches and pastors to marry gay couples with no exception or exemption.... and more. They are already flexing their muscles as they try to force Christians to bake cakes, photograph weddings, hold a wedding or reception, and more. I don't think it is paranoia to believe that these incidents are not by accident, but by design to force Christians to comply and bow to the gay agenda, and that they are just a foothold as they will eventually start on churches, religious organizations, and pastors.

  Just this past week, a Republican governor in Georgia caved to pressure and vetoed a bill that would have protected pastors and religious organizations from having to perform gay weddings and hire gay people..... it is coming.

   An unchecked gay agenda could mean children taken from parents who dare say homosexuality is wrong. It could mean churches and Christian schools forced to employ practicing gay people. With liberals in charge and totally sympathetic and complicit in anything the gay militants want, the possibilities are endless and disconcerting. We truly need to take a stand, and stop stepping aside and doing everything the liberals and gay militants demand. The safety and souls of our children in the years to come could depend upon it.

  But yet, I know something better than most of the people reading this blog post: those gay people marching in parades, demanding special rights and total acceptance, suing Christians, and spewing hatred and vitriol do not comprise the feelings and attitudes of all gay people. All gay people, or as the term I prefer to use, all we who struggle with same-sex attractions do not want the same things.

  Everyone is different, and everyone would not use these same groups that I am going to. To many Christians, all they see are the angry gay people marching and suing. They don't realize there are many who don't feel that way..... so here is my list:

1) Militant gays. They are the loud, out and proud ones. They march in gay pride parades, demand not just tolerance; but total acceptance and no one saying they are wrong. They sue Christians, and want gay acceptance forced on everyone, and will tolerate no one disagreeing or standing up to them. The most extreme are basically bullies, or a gay Gestapo.

2) Out and proud non-militant. They are fine with being gay, but just want left alone. They want gay marriage, gay adoption, and anything like that..... but they stay under the radar and don't push their sexuality on anyone.

3) The every day gay. He may or may not be out and proud, but he is fine with his sexuality. He just wants left alone, and doesn't really care about gay marriage and the like, as long as he has a relationship or one night stands.

4) The closet case. He doesn't want anyone to know he is attracted to other guys. He may hook up with other guys or even carry on a relationship with another guy and keep it quiet.

5) The closet struggler. He may never act out on his sexual attractions and desires, but keeps it buried. He may marry and make it work, or may stay single and make up excuses for being single. Many sit in the church pew, afraid to tell anyone what they are dealing with, Many can't handle it and take their own lives.

6) The "Christian" gay. He discounts what the Bible says, and decides since God won't take the gay away, that God is OK with it, and lives the gay lifestyle while claiming to serve God.

7) The ex-gay, overcomer, etc. Many don't like the "ex-gay" term, but it is often used. These are the guys who have led the gay lifestyle in some way, or never lived it but struggled with the attractions, lust, and often pornography. They have surrendered their desires and will to God, some of them being able to develop attractions to one woman and marry, others living a single and celibate.... yet godly life.

   It is hard even for me to remember that all of us are not those militant gays demanding our children be taught their lifestyle. Many are in the church, struggling silently. Many are married to women, trying desperately to make it work and afraid someone will find their secret out. Some are lisping and limp-wristed. Some dress as woman, some are jocks, into sports, some are shy and withdrawn, some are outgoing. Some date girls like they are going out of style to cover it up, others never date and make excuses.

  But all are broken, All are someone's little boy. They are your brothers, your cousins,  your sons,  your fathers, your uncles, your grandfathers, your husbands, your best friend, your fellow church member, your Sunday School teacher, your mail man, the boy who bags your groceries, your pastor. Many of them struggling with something they don't want nor understand.

  While we are sadly watching as an athlete comes out as gay and is lauded by the president and media as a hero, it is difficult to remember those silently struggling and suffering. While we react with disgust as sexual immorality is paraded down the streets of our cities, it isn't easy to think about the confused boys and men who are wishing for someone to confide in and be loved, not rejected.

  I reached a point where I had to stop worrying what people would think or suspect..... and started posting more about this issue, sharing articles both about the gay agenda and articles by men who have overcome homosexuality and have helpful things to say to the church and others who struggle.

  It hasn't always been met with a positive reaction. Over a year ago, I posted a news story about a gay athlete who had just come out as gay and was being hailed as a hero. I shared the link, and wrote "How sad this is being hailed as heroic. The real heroes are the ones who live for God and not their sexual desires." A female friend of mine commented and said I  seemed bitter toward gay people and lambasted me for it. I private messaged her and confided my own struggle to her, but she still fired away at me.... her son struggles with it, and she was taking it very personally. She un-friended me as a result.

 More recently, a lady from my church blocked me, my mom, and my sister on Facebook because I post too much stuff about homosexuality.

   A good friend of mine who struggles with same-sex attractions and is a great Christian guy, often messages me and thanks me for something I shared on that subject that helped and encouraged him. He said to me once in a message that I probably have people who are mad when I post things that condemn homosexuality, and probably have people angry when I post articles they may view as too soft on the issue. And he is probably right..... and I hope that means I am achieving the balance I strive for: love and truth.

  There are many who pat gay people on the back and tell them it is OK to be gay, that God is OK with it, that we all deserve to be happy, it makes no sense to bury the feelings, and other things like that...... yet, they are not loving or being a true friend. Living the gay lifestyle is to live a dangerous life. The relationships are even less stable than between men and women. There are more dangers of disease, death, physical abuse, drug and alcohol abuse, and more promiscuity. And the end is an eternity in hell.

  To love with truth is to love someone -even if they are living the gay lifestyle - and to be their friend and let them know you love them, but feel their lifestyle is wrong. Regardless of how some Christians feel, it isn't the worst sin and most gay men are not child molesters. They are hurting people who are trying to fill a void in a wrong way. We cannot ignore the hurting men and boys in our churches and in our lives while we try to stop the militant ones.

 The church has dropped the ball on this issue. No man, boy, woman, or girl should have to struggle and hide in the closet at church. Christians have made this issue bigger and worse than any other sin and issue, and we have done it so well that we have forced our friends and family members into the closet and nailed the door shut tight. Jokes are told, nasty remarks are made, names are tossed around, the way guys walk and talk are mocked.

  I sat in a Sunday School class at my church about 7 years ago where the subject was homosexuality. Two men especially were vocal, using the word "perverts" multiple times, saying they'd rather have a murderer around their kids than one of those "perverts." I felt shredded and fought tears. Another time, the subject was mentioned from someone speaking in church and a friend of mine who I hung out with some, leaned up and said "they just need to hang all of those people." I was around for the disparaging remarks and jokes in a boy's dorm on a Bible College campus, where guys studying for ministry felt it was OK to make fun of gay guys, never dreaming they had someone in their dorm struggling with that issue.

  Is it any wonder gay people hate Christians and the church? Is it any wonder our churches have people struggling with this issue and terrified that someone will find out, and afraid to talk to anyone about it? So they suffer in silence, some of them leaving the church to pursue a gay lifestyle, some pursuing it while sitting in the church pew, and some going on to kill themselves.

  But yet it still needs preached. The agenda still needs fought. However, Christians need to stop making it out to be the worst sin, and need to realize that having these attractions and desires are not sinful in and of themselves. It is the sexual actions and lust that are wrong. The church needs to stop alienating the very people who need church and God the most. Truth and love, a hard balance to achieve; but a necessary one.

1 comment:

  1. I appreciate your thoughts here. Indeed it is tough for those struggling with SSA in our churches, but folks like you are helping to bridge the gap and address the misconceptions with love, grace, and mercy. Blessings brother!