Saturday, November 1, 2014
30 days of thankfulness, Day 1: Thankful for singleness
It is rough being single. Usually having to ask for a table for one, feeling alone a lot, feeling like a square peg in a round world, often feeling like you don't belong anywhere. Even church can make a single person feel out of place, and like they don't belong.
I don't know if it is worse for women or men who are single. For women, it seems to be more acceptable. When things are done right, the guy asks the girl out, so one might assume the right guy hasn't asked her out. With guys, the ball is in their court, and when they remain single past the acceptable age of staying single.....whatever that age is - they really stick out like an odd duck. I should know. Whatever that age is, I am past it.
Thankfully, the comments and questions have slowed to a point that it is rare for someone to ask me why I haven't married, or for someone to urge me to try dating. That wasn't always the case. I used to face a barrage of comments and questions. I say this in the nicest way possible, but I don't know why people feel it is their job or business to find out why people are not dating, and/or try to set them up.
Thankfully in my case, I think most people realize the chances of my marrying are as likely as Obama coming clean about his birth certificate and all of the scandals that have plagued his administration. In other words, it ain't happening. Never, ever.
And to be honest, I wore a mask for years. I tried to give the idea that I wasn't interested in marriage. I'd joke about marriage and women, and most people got the idea that I was anti-marriage and possibly anti-woman. No one knew how badly I wanted to marry. No one knew how many nights I cried myself to sleep, wishing I was normal and could make a relationship with a woman work, and be able to marry.
I've gotten pretty used to the idea at this point in my life. I do worry about a future alone, but I am not trusting God enough. I still feel an ache when I see a young couple holding hands. I still hurt when I see a father holding his son.
And yet, I have to admit singleness has advantages. The Bible says we are to be thankful in all things, and singleness is not the exception. It also says single people are better off than married people for they can better serve God without the distractions that married people have. I can't say I have lived up to that. I am one who is too comfortable warming a pew. but who knows what the future will bring?
I don't mean to knock marriage, but lately I have seen so many couples who are having marriage problems. That is one thing I never have to worry about.
I love to shop, and though I don't mind a shopping buddy, I usually go alone. This may sound selfish, but I don't intend it to be, but I can shop at my own pace. I can go to the stores I want to go to, and in the order I want to go. I can eat out where I want to eat.
In my spare time, I can spend it how I want, with no honey do lists, etc.
I don't have to be the head of a family, something I feel unable to pull off.
And there are other advantages. Marriage has many, but so does singleness. And as badly as I have wanted to marry in the past, I can still be thankful for singleness. And who knows..... God may have more in store for me in the future as a single person that might not happen if I were married.