Tuesday, July 1, 2014
Fake women, fake men
I recently bought the newest CD of a group that I had never purchased a CD of before, but I like their sound, so I decided to give them a try. The group consists of 4 siblings, 2 brothers, and 2 sisters. The picture on the front of the CD gave me pause, and in part has prompted this blog post, although these thoughts have been churning in my mind for a long time.
The two girls on the CD cover have a lot of make up on. And I mean a lot. I personally think they look unattractive. I've seen other pictures of them where they had no or little makeup on, and they look entirely different....... and very attractive.
I grew up in a home and church where women don't wear makeup, and they look fine without it. And I am not saying all makeup makes women look garish or unattractive, but I am not sure why so many women feel they need it. And so much of it. What is wrong with the way God made women that they feel they have to improve upon it?
Fake nails and nail color
Fake hair and hair color
I pretty much missed out on the typical guy stuff, and never identified with the traditional men into hunting, fishing, sports, and all that stuff, so maybe there is fake stuff men put on that I am not aware of, but really....... if the average woman showed up with her real hair, face, nails, and dare I say it...... breasts..... would her husband recognize her? What do some of these women really look like without all the fake stuff? Are they really that ugly that they have to cover up their real face and hair?
I cringe when I see red fingernails. They creep me out. And eye shadow make women look like raccoons to me. What is attractive about blue or any other color of eyelids than God gave us? And what's with the unnatural lip colors? Yuk. I wouldn't want to kiss lipstick covered lips. Shudder.
How did we reach this place that women feel they have to use products to change their looks so much to look better? Sure, anything can be marketed and the experts are good at making us believe we need certain things to make our lives better, to make US better. But why do it? Why make yourself look so different that your own family wouldn't recognize you if you showed up at breakfast the way God made you?
Someone once said young women use makeup to look older, and older women use it to look younger. Maybe that is true, but sometimes they come off looking like the few men who do wear makeup.... clowns.
Now I get that women don't want grey hair. If I had hair, I wouldn't want it either, yet the Bible says grey hair is an honor..... so God must not think its bad. Try losing your hair.. that's bad.
Which brings up a good point: if makeup is so great and improves looks so much, why aren't guys wearing it? (OK, some guys do, but we are talking normal, heterosexual men). Could it be that we men are fake in other areas?
"Real men don't cry." That has been quoted more times than a politician has lied. So real men hide their emotions, they fake their way through life, never opening up, never admitting their fears and struggles. And yet, the best man who ever lived cried. That would be Jesus.
Just as society is so wrong on women needing to color their hair, put on tons of makeup, fake nails, and fake body parts, they are just as wrong on forcing men to stifle their emotions. I know how rare it is for men to get together and talk. Really talk. Not about sports, hunting, and women, but about their fears, insecurities, what is bothering them.
We have come up with our mold of what makes a man, and try to force every man that is born into it.
I'm not married, but I read a lot, and I know one thing many women complain about in relationships with men in dating and marriage, is the man won't talk about "stuff." They never get real. They won't talk about what's bothering them. Women, meanwhile, do nothing but talk about what's bothering them. They just don't want solutions from men, but listening. At least that's what I am told.
But here is the rub: I believe a lot of men would like to get real. They'd like to talk about what is bothering them. They'd like to discuss their fears, their struggles...... but they can't. They have been stuffed into a mold or box and do their best to conform to what real men do and don't do. And "talk" is one of the do not's. So they don't.
There have been many attempts made by Christian men to have a group of men to meet and be accountable with...... and so often it falls through. No one wants to admit when they messed up. No one wants to talk about what they struggled with that week. How sad. But again, the stigma is even there in a group meant for sharing, to keep the real man hidden, to not show vulnerability.
Maybe the women who are wanting their men to be real with them, to really talk, need to be real and toss aside their fake hair colors, fake nails, fake faces. Maybe. One can't expect one person to be real if they are being fake.
I'm not sure which is worse. That women feel they have to have the fake face, hair, nails, etc. to fit in, and to look better and younger, or that we men feel we have to fake it through life with our emotions and what we let people see of us.
And lest a bunch of women show up to burn me at the stake, I don't think all makeup makes women look garish, clown-like, or raccoon-like. A little in moderation can help, but again...... isn't what God gave you good enough?