Thoughts of a messed up Christian saved by God's grace

Saturday, January 14, 2017

January musings

Time for a post of random stuff that has been on my mind lately. I have been adding to this all month. It is not a post I sat down and typed up in one sitting. As things came to my mind and I had the time, I added to it. Warning, it does get political, for that is one thing that has been on my mind a lot lately. Welcome to the January mind of Mark Buzard:

1) There was day people were encouraged to get help for certain mental disorders. Now, they are encouraged to pursue them and you're a bigot if you speak out against it.

2) There are two guys, ages 69 and 74 that volunteer in the Emergency Department. Both are Republicans. Both do not like Trump and did not vote for him. They both believe Trump won't make it 4 years, but will be impeached.

3) I am proud of myself for not buying any Christmas candy as I shopped the 50% and 75% off Christmas clearance at several stores.

4) Wednesday, January 4, was my last day working for Allied Universal Security, and the last day working as the ER greeter. Monday, I started working for the hospital..... that means more money and better benefits.

5) Does anyone actually ever watch the special features DVD that often comes with the actual movie?

6) I had my first ever car accident that was my fault yesterday.....not a pleasant experience. Thankfully, my car is driveable, and no one got hurt. But I'd be happier if it had not happened. Slick roads - from wonderful snow -  were a contributing factor.

7) I hate winter. I haven't said that for a while, so I needed to get that out there. I could live easily with never seeing snow again......other than in pictures, where it belongs.

8) Some of my best friends are people who live too far away to see very often, if ever.

9) Why do they call it marinara sauce when it is just pizza or spaghetti sauce? The fancy name does not fool me.

10) No matter how many pro-Trump Facebook pages I block so I don't see people sharing them, I still see posts..... there must be a million pro-Trump groups.

11) Sometimes I feel like I have more than my share of problems.... SSA, discouragement, depression, weight issues.... and more. Yeah, there are people who have it worse, but that doesn't mean I have to like it....

12) My church never cancels for bad roads. They figure whoever wants to go bad enough will still go. When the rapture happens, they'll still have church for those who want to go bad enough.........

13) I think one of the best things Mr Trump's advisers could do is to keep him of social networks. That is when he most sounds and acts like Obama. George W Bush was a class act that didn't act like an immature baby every time he was criticized, but acted like an adult and decent human being. Obama and Trump could learn a lot from a real man and president. You never saw Bush striking out at celebrities, politicians, and media personnel because they upset him. Obama refused to give up his Blackberrry, and I doubt they'll be able to pry Trump's electronic devices off of him.

14) There is a fine line between women wearing enough make-up to help their looks, and looking like a raccoon or clown......or a woman of the streets.

15) And why do women need makeup, and men don't? Maybe men are the fairer sex since we don't need makeup to look good.......just a thought........

16) Pet peeve: People pushing a product on their Facebook page. Advertise elsewhere.

17) I am very skeptical of "essential" oils......it reminds me of the snake oil that was so popular many years ago

18) Isn't it odd that during the election, Trump and those supporting him were all about jailing Hillary, and he even promised to prosecute her..... but now that he has won, he and his minions don't seem to care about her crimes? It would appear that among being like the Democrats in many other ways, now the "Grand old party" has used something in the other candidate only as a means to get their guy elected. If it really mattered, it would still matter.

19) I have gotten to  the place where I don't really enjoy singing in church. I have to be very familiar with the hymn and like it a lot to feel like singing. Not sure what is up with that, as I sing in the car all the time.

20) I have developed a like of burning scented candles.... in case anyone needs gift ideas for me.

21) I so enjoyed my Amish Getaway last year, that I am thinking of doing it again...... I just need to find a couple of days that I am off, and that aren't going to be cold and snowy. And no, it won't be for two people, just me. :)

22) It is becoming increasingly unpopular and unacceptable to voice opinions contrary to those of others.... and sadly it is as bad among Christians as among the world....... and I am not just referring to politics.

23) I am beyond discouraged with the house buying venture. I am half tempted to find a cheap apartment and cram my stuff into it no matter how small it is, and no matter how crowded I am and forget this idea of owning my own place.

24) It is ironic that I dress up more for my job than I do for church.... and that this tie-hating guy that I am has been wearing ties to work for almost 4 years. At least with this position I can wear my own ties that tie, and not a clip on.

25) There are a lot of people out there who have tasked themselves with telling you what to post - or not post - on Facebook. And that is the only interaction I get from some people......when they don't like what I say. Odd how that works.

26) Quote from a friend of mine about..... well, figure it out if you can :) - "Sad is all the "Aarons"that helped build it and should have known better. We better hope Moses comes down of the mountain soon."

27) I am firmly convinced that the worst of my depression started when Obama won the election in 2008. Don't roll your eyes... I am serious. There was other stuff going on too, but I knew what kind of man he is and had prayed and hoped so much that he wouldn't win....... and he did. And that is seriously when the depression hit me the hardest. Now, round two: My depression has noticeably gotten worse since the Republican Party abandoned common sense and principles and nominated the man who was furthest from conservative and Christian values. I had hoped and prayed we'd get someone that was so far removed from Obama and was a decent conservative and Christian...... and again, my hopes and prayers were ashes. I seriously blame the election of Obama and the nomination of Donald Trump for the worst of my depression. Maybe I need to stop voting and ignore politics... my vote, my hopes, and my prayers obviously do no good.

28) My car needs repaired from the car accident..... but I don't know where and when to get that taken care of. Fun stuff. January really isn't turning out to be that great of a month, and it doesn't look like it will get much better. (veiled reference to..... well, we will keep it veiled)

29) I had a nice guy add me as a friend last night on Facebook, who then chatted with me for several minutes. He, like me, deals with SSA and we have 27 friends in common. I wish I felt more comfortable with sending friend requests, but I don't. I'll probably carry these feelings of inferiority and feelings that people don't like me with me until I die.

30) Of all the superheroes, Captain America is my favorite. Yeah, I am a geek who likes superheroes and superhero movies.

31) I have been wondering lately if it is a mistake being so outspoken and open on social media about my feelings, struggles, beliefs, and thoughts. I have considered withdrawing, being silent, and go back into that silent world I mostly lived in before social media...... but then Donald Trump would have won again - but beating me this time. The guys who are occasionally encouraged by what I write - don't look shocked, it does happen - they may miss my voice. So I most likely won't do that. I will try to keep people happy who apparently don't want reminded of what kind of man they voted for, by mostly being silent about that man.

32) I need a vacation. Seriously, I really need a vacation...... but that won't happen until the end of May (Outerbanks, here we come!) Maybe I should seriously consider that Amish Getaway.

33) Seriously, why are so many liberals so upset about Donald Trump winning? He is one of them, has always been one of them, and is the most liberal and corrupt person to ever run on the GOP ticket. They should be ecstatic that he won. Sure, they wanted a woman president, but her long time buddy and donor won..... so why are they so upset?

34) The election of Obama and Trump both show how easily the Anti-Christ will fool people....... even Christians, No, I am not saying all who voted for DT are in that category, but the ones who have followed him so easily and willingly and have pinned so much hope on the man. The Anti-Christ will be even better at wining people over than these two men.

35) I think we have all put too much hope in politics and politicians. I have been trying to remind myself that I am not living for this world..... and not even for this country.

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