Far too many of us are all bound up in worrying what people think of us. And there is a good side to that. As Christians, we want people to see Jesus in us, and we want to live in such a way that people won't look at us and be turned off on Christianity, the church, and God by the way we live. That isn't what I am referring to.
I am talking about being more worried about what people think of us, than God. There may be things we feel we should do as Christians, but are afraid what people think of us, so we hold back. Or there may be things we feel or know we shouldn't do as Christians, but we find ourselves caving in and doing them so people won't think we are weird or far out.
I should probably care more than I do what people think of me, and I do to a certain extent, but I have come to realize that people are going to like me, or they won't. That it is God's approval I seek and tha is important, not man's.
But I am still bound in many ways by worrying what people will think of me. I am almost to the point that I don't care who knows my deepest, darkest secret, but still worry about some people knowing.
There are times in church I feel the urge to raise my hand, testify, etc, but worry about what people will think.
There are things I disagree with my church on, yet worry what people will think if I verbalize it, or question it, or worse... do it.
We want to be free, yet we wrap ourselves in chains, being bound by what others might think. And all the while, it is only God who we should be concerned about. And if we are living a life pleasing to Him, then we don't need to worry what people think of us.
Keeping up appearances can be damaging. Not only do we worry about ourselves, but all too many families are more concerned with keeping up appearances, then about loving each other. What is the first thing in most Christian parents' minds when they find out their teenaged daughter is pregnant? What will people think......
Their son gets a DUI. What will people think.....
Their child comes out to them as gay. What will people think.....
Their marriage is in trouble, but they fear admitting it. What will people think......
And more often than not, the reactions come more out of concern for what people will think, than for the hurting family member that needs to know that they are loved, even now. Especially now.
If you read the Gospels, you'll find Jesus didn't worry about appearances. He was here to do His Father's will, and didn't worry about what people thought of Him. He horrified the religious leaders of His day by who He hung out with, by healing people on the Sabbath, and usually doing the opposite of what the religious leaders expected.
There are people who seem to live their lives not caring what people think of them, and do it in a bad way. They lead wild and sinful lives, and that is not what I am talking about when I say this: how different our lives would be if we stopped worrying about what people thought of us, and focused on only God. It wouldn't make us calloused and arrogant people not worried about people's feelings, or their spiritual welfare. It would be just the opposite. For if we all lived a life focusing on pleasing God over man, and did His will in everything, we would affect and influence people in the right way. For and to God.
But instead, too many of us live stunted Christian lives, trying to please God and man both, and too often erring on the side of man.
And is it possible this worrying what people think, this obsession to look like you have it all together, that your family and life are perfect..... stems from pride?
I don't like to think that I am proud. It is something I honestly didn't think I deal with, yet the more I think about this issue of keeping up appearances, the more it seems to be the case: pride. Ugly, nasty pride.
Not a "I think I am better than you" kind of pride. And maybe there isn't any kind that is better than another anyway, but a pride that wants people to think I am OK. That I have it all together.
But you know what? I don't. I have questions. A lot of questions. Maybe God will answer them, and maybe not.
I have fears. I worry about a future alone, as a single guy. I worry about supporting myself, and what would happen if I got something badly wrong with me.
I worry about dying young, but also worry about getting old.
I am what Brennan Manning was referring to in his popular book - a ragamuffin. Bedraggled, beat-up, and burnt out.
Yes, I am a Christian, but most days not a very good one. I doubt, I fear, I worry. I focus too much on the bad, and not enough on the good. I believe God loves me, and am striving to live for Him day by day, yet wonder if I love Him. How does one love God?
I worry what people think of me, being my age and staying with my parents.
I wonder what people suspect about me.
I definitely don't have it all together. Far from it. So why do I want people to think I do? Why not just toss it all to the wind and not worry what people think. Pride? Maybe so.
Some day, everyone who has ever lived and died, will stand before God. It isn't going to matter one bit what anyone else thinks of us at that moment. All will matter is what God thinks of us. Of our standing with Him.
If the end result is going to be what God thinks, and will have nothing to do with what man thinks, then why don't more of us start living that way?
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