Being too hard on sin

Sometimes I think we are too hard on sin. Yeah, I really mean that. But, we are only too hard on SOME sins. Some sins just don't seem as bad. How long has it been since you heard a sermon on:

Pride
Lust
Gossip
Envy
Coveting
Judging (not necessarily a sin, but it can be)

Yet there are some sins that we hammer on, scream out about and fight with all our might:

Adultery
Homosexuality
Pornography

Are we too hard on these sins, and similar ones? Can you be too hard on them? Maybe not. Don't read too much into my words........ but I think we can treat them in such a way, and act so un-Christ-like about them and toward people dealing with them, that yes.... we can be too hard on them. Stick with me if you're reading this.

Imagine that you are having a battle with worry, pride, or even lying. What would you do? Depending on your personality, you might stand up in church and admit your problem and ask for prayer. You may not want to go THAT public, and may talk to some friends and ask for prayer. There are quite a few "small/nice" sins that we don't mind admitting a struggle with, and seeking help. (And I am not minimizing prayer and God's help)

Now imagine you struggle with pornography and/or same-sex attractions. Since we are imagining, take it one step further. You are a teenager, say 16 or 17. What would you do? Sadly, with the way most Christians and churches react toward these sins, especially homosexuality, the majority of young people in the church who are dealing with it, talk to no one. Some may somewhat successfully battle it on their own and marry, and some of those may rise above it enough that it is a minor struggle. Others that marry, may struggle a lot, and may even act out on those desires. Others that don't marry, particularly in reference to the same-sex attractions, never marry, either battling the sin for the rest of their lives and remaining celibate, or giving in to their desires and living in and sometimes in and out of, that sinful lifestyle.

Let's put the shoe on the other foot. Now imagine someone from your church comes to you. They tell you they are really struggling with pornography, or same-sex attractions, or they are cheating on their spouse...... imagine if it was your teenager that came to you and told you that they were struggling with same-sex attractions, or porn, or that they were pregnant.......

If we are Christians, we are to be like Jesus, and He does condemn sin, but loves the sinner. Totally, without reservation. I've been thinking about this, and have to wonder: how many people in our churches across America - and even in your church - are struggling with one of these not-so-nice sins, but we have made them so horrible, are so outspoken against them without love for those dealing with them..... that they who go to church with us, and even live with us - are afraid to admit to anyone what they are dealing with. They need and want help desperately, but are afraid to seek it from the very people who should lovingly help them....because they fear being kicked out of their homes, their churches, of being condemned and ostracized.

I heard a sad story related on a live concert CD of a Christian singer, Kirk Talley:
A young man had attended this church and played his guitar in the praise band. One Wednesday night, he confided in the pastor about his struggle with homosexual desires. The pastor promised to pray for him. Sunday morning came. The young man was on the platform with the rest of the band. The pastor stepped up to the pulpit and told what the young man had told him, then turned to the young man and told him to get out of his church, that they didn't need his kind around there. That young man took his guitar, walked out and never returned.

What a sad and pathetic excuse of a pastor, and what a terrible lack of Christ-like love. Whatever your stance on homosexuality is, I hope, like me, that your heart broke for that young man. Can you imagine how he felt? And is it no wonder we have hurting people in our churches who are afraid to come forward and ask for help? To admit that their struggle isn't lying or gossip, but a moral struggle, a sex addiction, pornography, same-sex attractions.

We are missing it as a church, and as Christians. Yes, we need to fight abortion, gay marriage, and other such issues, but we MUST love the sinner. I wish people that are openly gay would feel welcomed in our churches - not that we make them members and pat them on the back and tell them their sin is ok, but that they are welcome and loved, and that we want them to come back.

I've made no secret of the fact that I have struggled with believing God loves me for most of my life. One thing I have been trying to focus on lately, is that God doesn't just love me, but God IS love. It isn't second nature for Him to love - it IS His nature to love. Everyone. The liar, the gossip, the thief, the murderer, the homosexual..... and even the child molester. Wouldn't it be amazing if we could love like that? And we should. The Bible even says that is how we know we love God, if we love others. It also says that he who does not love, doesn't love God. (1 John 4)

It isn't always easy. I admit it. One big problem area for me is these guys who walk off and leave their wives and sometimes children. I really have a hard time loving them and feeling charitable. Part of that reason may be that I wish so badly to be married and have a family, and so far in my life, that has not been possible..... but even child molesters...... love them? Is there any worse sin than hurting a child in that way? Yet, God loves them. He died for them just as much as He died for you and I, and is waiting just as eagerly to forgive them as He is you and I. Hard to swallow? Hard to imagine a child molester finding God and going to Heaven?

We need to wake up and realize Jesus didn't die for nice people. He died for sinners. If we don't seek forgiveness for our "nice' sins, we will go to the same hell that the murderer and child molester will go to. And if they repent, they can go to the same Heaven that we all can go to if we repent and serve God.

The answer does not lie in accepting sin. There are churches that say it is ok to live a gay lifestyle and be a Christian. That the Bible really doesn't condemn that sin. No, we can never excuse sin and say it is ok, but we do need to change something. The church isn't a place for godly people to gather and isolate themselves from sinners. It is a place for sinners to come and be helped, loved, and pointed to God as the only solution for whatever sin they are battling.

And I hope that if you're reading this and someone comes to you and admits a struggle that is out of your idea of "nice" sins, that they fare a lot better than the young man in the story I related above. I don't know what happened to that young man after that incident. I hope he found another church where people would love him, and not tell him "gay is ok", but that would encourage him, help him, carry him if he needed carried.... isn't that what the church should be all about? It is more than getting dressed up, going to church, singing, putting our offering in the offering plate, listening to the sermon, then going home and relaxing until next Sunday. If that is all church is about, then I want out. I want something better. And we can make it better.

In closing, I'd like to say a couple of things. First off, I know in God's eyes, sin is sin, and no sin is nice. Hence the quotes around nice sins. Secondly, this blog post is near and dear to my heart. I was a young man dealing with a not-so-nice sin. I was scared to tell anyone, and unfortunately it got a good hold on me before I sought help. I can still remember the day I sat in my pastor's study and told him what I was struggling and dealing with. I expected and feared revulsion, and didn't get it. I wish that had ended it, but it didn't. Some of us are not good students in this course of life, and over the years it seems I have failed more than I succeeded. Fallen more than I stood, but this same Jesus who said to the adulterous woman "Neither do I condemn you, go and sin no more", also has stood before me, with no stones in His hand to throw, but with arms open wide to love me and take me back.

I've gotten a bit more open over the years. I used to fear people finding out what I worked so hard to hide, but there came a point that I started admitting to people, and you know what...... no one has ever reacted badly. For the most part, most people who know don't ever bring it up, and some are completely willing to talk about it, and love me in spite of it. I still wonder sometimes what would happen if I admitted it to the world. Would I lose some friends? Would some people condemn and avoid me? Most likely. As a whole, the church still needs to love more, to be more like Jesus who was willing to die for the same people too many Christians want to toss aside and avoid.

I have felt this pull, almost a call, at times in my life that God wants to use me to help others who have the same struggles that I do. I used to fight the idea, feared it. Now.... not so much. I have come to realize it is God's opinion of me that matters, not people's, and that people who are my true friends are going to stick with me and love me no matter what it is I am dealing with.

My hope and prayer is that God helps me to love more. That is what its all about.

And one last thing, just to stave off comments I may get: I am in no way putting child molesters in the same category as gossips. Some sins ARE worse to us, and crimes need to be punished, but God does love even those who sin in that way.