Not to condemn

   The most known verse in the Bible is John 3:16: 
For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. That's a great verse, but so is the one that follows it: For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved.


  There has been much speculation as to why God sent His son as baby. And a lot of the reasons people come up with are good reasons. And I'm sure there are more reasons than we could come up with that He did it.

  And one of those reasons might be right there in John 3:17. To let us know He hadn't come to condemn. After all, who could possibly feel condemned by a baby?

  For so many years, I felt God was angry at me. If I didn't measure up  - and I felt I never did - He was glaring impatiently my way, wondering if I was ever going to get it. I lived with the belief that I was condemned completely and thoroughly, and no matter how hard I tried to be what He wanted, I was going to disappoint Him, and He would toss me aside.

  But He didn't come to condemn. He came to save. Anyone who would believe on Him.

  For the last few months, I have been wading through a lot of junk. I was tired of trying to serve the God I knew. Tired of feeling I could never please Him, tired of feeling like He was waiting to condemn me the second I didn't measure up completely.

  I started reading books that focused on God's love. I knew I had  the wrong views of God, and the more I read, the more convinced I was of that. But it's one thing to know your thinking is wrong, and another thing entirely to change it.

  I had prayed many times before that God would help me to believe He loved me, but it seemed like there was no change. I don't know why. Maybe I wasn't trying to believe on my own and was expecting God to wave a magic wand or do some miraculous thing to show He loved me. Whatever the reason, it didn't happen.

  Sometime in the last few weeks, it finally happened. Actually, it was a gradual thing. I finally "got it". God loves me. Unconditionally. There's nothing I can do to cause Him to love me more, or less. And His grace is for me. He hasn't been waiting to condemn me if I mess up, but waiting to forgive me if I do.

  It may seem weird for a guy my age who went to a Christian school K-12, did 4 years of Bible college, and was raised in the church, to just now be getting God's love. But I am. And its not 100%, but I'm getting there. We can never fully understand His love and grace, but I am understanding it a lot better than I used to.

  I don't know if I finally read the right words in a book that made it click, or what finally caused a lifetime of doubting God's love and grace to change to belief, but I guess it doesn't really matter. What does matter, is as this Christmas season is so fast approaching, I can look at the baby Jesus in my Nativity set, and know that the real baby Jesus did indeed come for me. Not to condemn, but to love me, die for me, and forgive me.

  That's what Christmas is about. Not just that He came, but that He came to save, not condemn.