Thoughts of a messed up Christian saved by God's grace

Saturday, August 22, 2015

The road I am walking

 I love to walk. I don't do it often enough as I am a fair weather walker. I don't like it to be too hot or cold, and I don't like to walk in the rain. I enjoy plugging myself into my iPod and setting out on the bike/walking trail near me that goes through the woods, sometimes taking off the trail to walk on the road that runs beside the trail and crosses it several times.

 I also enjoy taking pictures. As I look at the pictures I have taken on these walks, I realize I take a lot of pictures of the trails and roads I walk. I also realize I enjoy looking at pictures that have roads in them, especially a country road that winds off in the distance. If it is a road or path I am not familiar with, I find myself wondering what is around the bend that is not visible in  the picture.

  Once in a while, I will walk on a different section of the trail or road that I normally walk on, and I enjoy seeing things I didn't see before. A different building, house, vegetation, bodies of water..... it makes the walk more enjoyable to see new things, and to not know what is around the next bend in the road or trail.

  A friend of mine, Tanya Ford Allison posted the following picture she took near where she lives. I have never been there. I have never walked on that road, but there is something about a picture like that one that makes me want to step into the picture and walk that road. To see what is around the bend, to follow the road to the end to see what is there.

  I have been thinking about roads and my obsession with taking and posting pictures of roads and trails. I am far from being the first person to relate this journey to Heaven as being on a road, but it has been on my mind as I look at the dozens of pictures of roads and trails in my photos.

 I have really been struggling with faith lately, and trusting God. I find myself wishing I knew what was around the next bend in the road of my life, but I don't know. I can't see the future, but God can...... He is already there. So why do I worry and fear so much?

  When I am driving my car, I don't worry about what is around the next curve in the road. OK, when I am driving in the dark I worry about hitting a deer, but other than that I don't worry..... or when the roads are snow or ice covered. I don't fret about where the road is going to take me. Even if I am going somewhere unfamiliar, I go by my GPS and have faith that it will take me where I need to go.

  And there is that word: faith..... faith in my GPS. Why is it so easy to trust and have faith in vehicles, roads, electronic gadgets, and other things made by man, yet so difficult to trust the God of the universe who loves me and knows what is best for me? My GPS doesn't care about me. It can't care because it is an electronic gadget. If it can get me where I need to go without me fretting and worrying about what is coming next, than how much more can God get me where I need to be? And why should I worry and fret with Him in control.

  I have found myself thinking often "if God would do this, it would be easier for me to trust Him and have faith", but yet the reasonable part of me realizes that isn't true. I can look back on my life and see where He has helped me and worked out things that are similar to what I am worrying about now.... so what would change if He did something to help my faith? Probably nothing would change.

  Faith isn't just a fuzzy warm feeling that comes automatically. It requires effort. As I continue on this road I am walking to Heaven, may God help me trust Him more. After all, He is the ultimate GPS.

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