Thoughts of a messed up Christian saved by God's grace

Friday, June 27, 2014

What not to say to singles

I read a list of 6 things not to say to singles today, and decided to come up with my own. Being single all of my life, I have heard a lot, so here in no particular order, are some that bug me:

1) Why aren't you married yet (or dating)? There is one big issue with this question: it really isn't anyone's business but the single person's. And God's. But you can't go around telling people it isn't any of their business, so you try to give a nice reply to a nosy question.

2) Just one? Asked mostly at restaurants. JUST one? Is there something wrong with eating at a restaurant by yourself? Maybe I need to open a restaurant that caters to single people, and if more than one comes in together, they are given a look and asked "TWO of you?!"

3) There's someone out there for you. And you know this how? Did God give you special insight into my future? Wow. Tell me more.

4) It isn't good for man to live alone. Actually, it can be pretty peaceful. And there are a lot of men who are married and wishing they could go back to living alone.

5) You'd make someone a good husband (or wife). Aww, and you'd make a nice pincushion.

6) You're not getting any younger. Man, I thought for sure that age reversal thing was working...... and wait..... YOU aren't getting any younger either, so why point it out to me that I am not?

7) Isn't it time you settled down with someone? Settle down? Doesn't sound fun to me. Sounds kind of boring.

8) You'd make someone a fine catch. We single people are people, not fish. And maybe you'd be one they'd throw back....

9) Why aren't you married yet (or dating?) I know. That was #1, but it annoys me enough that it needs mentioned again :)

10) Don't you get lonely? Well, yes, but so do married people. Marriage is not a cure for loneliness. Sometimes it can make it worse.

11) God made someone for everyone. Similar to #3, but a bit different. My dear Grandma Buzard used to tell me that. I'd reply, "Maybe so, Gram, but mine died at birth!" But who says He did. I don't find that i the Bible.

12) You're next. Usually said at a wedding. As one comedian said, we single people should start telling those people that at a funeral.

  There are others, but these are the ones that come to mind. And here are some closing thoughts:

Jesus was single, so you're praying to a single adult.

The Apostle Paul was single and accomplished a lot. Of course there are those who wonder if his thorn in the flesh could have been a wife......

  It isn't easy being single in a married world, in a church where everyone your age is married and has kids, but it is even harder when you want to be married, but you can't, and/or there are good reasons why you aren't...... and then to have people pester you about it...... I have told close friends before, it is kind of like asking a woman who can't have kids why she hasn't had one yet, or when she will.

  At this point in my life, I think its obvious to most people who know me well why I am single, and will always be single....... but if you haven't figured that out, you can try #1 and see what I say. I might give you one of my well crafted answers I have used for years, I might tell you the truth, or I might tell you it isn't any of your business. You just never know.

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