Thoughts of a messed up Christian saved by God's grace

Monday, October 20, 2014

Never too broken to belong

I often feel I don't belong anywhere. It seems I am always the odd man out. Other guys my age are married and are into sports and hunting. Even at church, a place where everyone should feel welcome, I don't feel I belong. I'm single, and in my 40's, with no chance of marrying. I am still broken, messed up. I still need fixed. I struggle with issues that most Christians don't understand and fear. I have a lot of doubts and fears about the future. I don't trust God enough. I'm so depressed some days, it is all I can do get out of bed, drive to work, and smile at the people coming into the hospital.

  Often it seems people who don't have God in their lives, who are not trying to serve God and walk with Him.....have their lives more together than I do. Not to mention those I worship with each week.

  But then once in a while, a mask is pulled back, and I see I am not the only one who isn't perfect and not whole.

  There are those who come to Jesus and seemingly live a charmed life. The sun always seems to shine on them, and everything they touch turns to gold.

 And then there's me. I have so much head knowledge about God, and yet it seems my heart will never catch up to my head. Then there's the endless bumps and potholes in the road. I seem to hit more of them than I miss.

  We have been studying in Corinthians in my Sunday School class at church, and man..... those people were a mess too. I shared this in a previous blog post, but it has been on my mind today, so I will share it again. In one of our lessons, my Sunday School teacher was talking about the people in the early church. They were messed up. They came out of idol worship, adultery, homosexuality, and more........ and yet God built His church on them. People like me, Broken, messed up, failing, those Paul had to get after. They weren't people who had gotten saved at age 4 and served God all of their lives, never going out into deep sin. They had come out of deep sin, and some of them kept falling into it.

  And yet they weren't thrown out. Preached at, admonished, and disciplined - yes. But not thrown out. They became building blocks for God's Church.

  It may seem here that we don't belong, but in the grand scheme of things - God's Church, we all belong. We just need to repent and follow Jesus, bring our brokenness and messiness with us. In time, we will become what God wants us to be, but I am learning He is much more patient with me than I or anyone else is.

The door is open
Come on in as you are
All you need to bring is what
remains of your heart
I see the years of fear
and pain on your face , but
Take a step
Enter in
You are safe in this place

You're never too broken, to belong
Never too wounded
Never too far gone
Here you'll find Jesus
And find your home
You're never too broken, to belong

Come find the perfect love
That no one deserves
A peace so sweet it can't
Be put into words
And grace that's greater
Than the darkest of sin
Taste and see
Take His hand
Let the healing begin

You're never too broken to belong
Never too wounded,
Never too far gone, and
Here you find Jesus
And find your home
You're never too broken to belong

We too were wounded and defeated
So we know how you feel
But by the wounds of our Redeemer
We believe
We were healed

You're never too broken to belong, and
Never too wounded,
Never, too far gone and
Here you find Jesus
And find your home
You're never too broken, to belong
You're never too broken, to belong.

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