I read a lot. And by a lot, I have hit 600 books plus a few over the last few years. That may sound like it is impossible, but I have no social life, and usually work 3 12 hour days. I don't have any hobbies, and I stay home a lot.
99.99% of my reading is Christian fiction. I grew up in a church where some of the grey- haired members of the church looked down on the "Christian novel", almost likening it to erotic fiction. Slight exaggeration.
The Christian fiction market has exploded in the last 20 years or so. When I first started reading Christian fiction, there were not many choices of books and authors. Now there are so many authors out there it is almost impossible to list them all. And there is also a wife variety of sub genre's and types of books out there. There is suspense/mystery/thrillers - my favorite, legal thrillers, romance, historical fiction/romance, rom-coms, science fiction, etc. There are some with a lot of fluff, some that have you laughing out loud, some that are serious and sobering, and many where the author does not shy away from packing the Gospel and Biblical truths into their books.
One recent one was the newest release by one of my favorite authors, Kimberley Woodhouse. She wrote a fictional novel set during the horrible reign of Hitler that was a great but sobering read.
My faith was shattered in 2016 and the years following. I won't go into all the whys, as this post is not about politics....but it was because of MAGA politics and so many Christians in that crowd. I actually gave up on being a Christian, and have really struggled. I lost faith in the Republican party, my church, Christianity, and even God Himself.....which isn't really fair to Him as I have only recently realized. On my worst days, I questioned God's existence, and even if there are other gods, and this God was not telling the truth. I am being completely serious and honest. The things Christians in my own church and life have said to me, and the crap I have gotten because I voted how I still believe God wanted me to vote....it knocked me off my moorings completely.
During those years, I still had two of my greatest loves: Southern Gospel music and Christian fiction. There were years I didn't read anything in the Bible other than the daily verse I started getting a few years ago.
And what I was getting reading all those Christian fiction books.
Such as in Now or Never, #14 in the Brand of Justice Series by another favorite author, Lisa Phillips. I recently read an advance eBook copy of the book, due out next month
The main character of the series is private investigator Kenna Bradbury, Kenna Jaxton as of book 11 when she married FBI Special Agent In Charge Oliver Jaxton (Jax). It is an awesome series, and I won't give too many spoiler details, but things happened in book #13 that pretty much wiped out Kenna's faith. A fairly new Christian, she just lost her faith completely due to what happened to her.
At one point in this book, Kenna's husband takes her to visit a friend of his, Jesse. Jesse runs some kind of rescue mission type place. He is in a wheelchair because he is missing both legs. Ironically, while an FBI agent, Jax had arrested Jesse and ended up leading him to Jesus. Jesse ends up preaching Kenna a little sermon that helps get her back on track.
But here is the kicker: it was something I needed. My faith has been in shambles due to politics and political Christians. I foolishly let things said to me not just shatter my faith in my church, Christians, and Christianity....but in God also. It does not make sense. I voted how I believe He wanted me to vote.
There is something that has always been murky to me. I do not believe in Calvinism, and believe so much of the TULIP is opposite of the Bible, especially the once saved always saved. The idea that once you are a Christian, you cannot NOT sin, and that no matter what you do, you will still go to Heaven.....but on the other hand, so many preachers I heard over the years have made it sound to me like it is really difficult to make it into Heaven, and one little mess up will drop you into hell.
In the book, Jesse tells Kenna, "When we sin, it on us to repent. Whether Jax and I believe your lost faith is your fault or not, if you're looking for a turnaround in your heart and mind, confess and believe. That's how you got saved, and that's how you get back on track."
(Kenna) "It wasn't a once and for all thing?"
Jesse, "In a way, yes. But we drift. We forget. Or we mess up. Returning to the Lord can be a daily thing, or every minute. Not necessarily saying a 'sinner's prayer' every time, but the act of praying your way back to that close relationship might be something you need to do constantly for a while. As a reminder to you that you need to keep Him close."
There was a little more to it, but that is the gist. I immediately messaged the author and told her I so needed to hear that. And man, did I ever." (And I have permission to share that part of the book).
I am reminded of something comedian Chonda Pierce said once. She was raised Nazarene, and her husband Baptist. She said he got saved once, and she got saved - she used a big exaggerated number, I think 300 and some times.
So I really like what Phillips wrote in her book in the conversation between three fictional characters. It really made me think, and was something I needed. And I got it from a Christian fiction novel.
My church had revival services this past week. The only service I was in was the Sunday morning service. I had never heard of the preacher, but he preached a great sermon on the prodigal son. He could have trimmed the length a bit, but it was still a great sermon. I was already thinking about this blog post, and as he preached, something came to my mind that I read in one of the greatest non-fiction books I ever read, The Ragamuffin Gospel by Brennan Manning.
I struggled for years to believe anyone liked me, and even worse, to believe God loves me. There was more than one thing that helped shatter that struggle about believing God loves me, but one of the biggest or most memorable was what I read in Manning's best selling book. This is a quote from the book, and a few thoughts from a blog post I did 11 years ago about finally coming to believe God loves me:
"While he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was moved with pity. He ran to the boy, clasped him in his arms and kissed him” (Luke 15:20). I am moved that the [prodigal son's] father didn’t cross-examine the boy, bully him, lecture him on ingratitude, or insist on any high motivation. He was so overjoyed at the sight of his son that he ignored all the canons of prudence and parental discretion and simply welcomed him home. The father took him back just as he was . . . We don’t have to sift our hearts and analyze our intentions before returning home. Abba just wants us to show up . . . we don’t have to be perfect or even very good before God will accept us . . . Even if we come back because we couldn’t make it on our own, God will welcome us. He will seek no explanations about our sudden appearance. He is glad we are there . . . [He will say, like the prodigal's father,] “Hush, child. I don’t need to know where you’ve been or what you’ve been up to.”
Manning also pointed out that the father didn't wait for the son to say all of the right words. He ran to meet him and embraced him before he could say anything. It was a simple truth, but it sure hit home with me.
Manning, and others have said, the story isn't really about the son. We make it about the son, and I have heard many sermons and lessons on the son. The story is about the father. His love, and how eager he was to forgive his son and welcome him back.
No matter how far and long we wandered, God is always eager to take us back. I used to think I had to say the right words, pray a certain way and length, and beg Him to take me back.
But that isn't the case.
I'll close with the lines from a favorite song by the Booth Brothers, When He Saved Me:
I don’t believe He’s sitting up in Heaven
Evaluating sinners by their scars
But I see Him excited to forgive us
And it’s not at all in spite of who we are
Chorus:
When He saved me He knew
What I had done, what I would do
He looked beyond the worst in me
And saw not what I was, He saw what I could be
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