I had an interesting experience this week while vacationing in Ohio's Amish country. I stayed Tuesday-Thursday, and came home late Thursday afternoon.
Tuesday was a rainy dreary day, and I spent most of it going to the several thrift stores i the area. There are at least twelve, including a Goodwill. I went to nine of them on Tuesday.
On Wednesday, I mainly went to souvenir and touristy shops. When the weather is nice - which it was - I like to park my car at one end of Berlin, Ohio and just walk the main street, checking out the stores.
After checking into my second place I stayed at - I couldn't get the same place for two nights - I decided to got to the thrift store that is out of the way in Wilmot, OH. There is a restaurant there, The Amish Door, that I ate at a couple times a few years back. They closed, but reopened in a bigger building in the same lot. I decided to go there for supper.
I walked in, was seated right away and given a menu. The place is huge. I was seated at a table in the one section of the restaurant that had booths and tables, mostly filled. And I sat. And sat. There were waiters and waitresses walking past my table, and no one acknowledged me. There was a waiter that stopped a couple of times at the table beside me that I figured was my waiter, but he never even looked at me.
Finally after at least twelve minutes, I chased down an employee at the salad bar who looked annoyed to be bothered. I told her I had been waiting over ten minutes with no one taking my order, and asked if I had a waiter or waitress. After checking where I was seated, she headed off. A couple of minutes later, the guy I assumed was my waiter came to my table and apologized for not noticing me. I got the buffet/salad bar, and had mediocre service from him.
While eating my first plate of food, I bumped my glass of pop, knocking it over. I tried to get the attention of a couple of staff walking by, but they just kept walking. So I mopped up the mess as best as I could with napkins, pushing the ice cubes on the table onto my empty salad plate, and kicking the ones on the floor under the table. The same girl I had bugged earlier went by busing tables, and dropped one of her cloths and it caught under the wheel of her cart. I tried to get her attention to tell her, but she just kept going.
I felt invisible for most of my time in that restaurant. I am not exaggerating. It was as if the staff couldn't even see me sitting there, even when I made a mess. I was embarrassed, but no one even seemed to notice.
I used to feel weird about eating out on my own, especially when asked "Just one?" But I got to the point it doesn't bother me. Much. I tip well for good service, and don't camp out at a table. But sometimes I do feel like I am being an inconvenience since I am just one person eating out.
But this experience...ugh. I am guessing that if I had three people with me at the table for four, or even one or two, I would have been noticed faster. Maybe.
It seriously was a weird experience. I have never felt so un-noticed and invisible in my life. Oh, I am sure there were other times, but this was on steroids.
It made me think.
Years ago when I worked at the Christian bookstore in Salem, OH, the owners had a speaker come to talk about customer service. They treated us to supper, then the guy spoke. He told a true story that has stuck with me about a young man who committed suicide. I can't remember if the speaker gave many details about what was going on in this guy's life, but this is what I do remember:
In his his suicide note, he said how lonely he was, and how invisible. He walked into a Christian bookstore hoping someone would approach him. No one did. No one even asked him if he needed help. He went home, wrote a suicide note, and killed himself.
I am not excusing his suicide. I know in my personal experience of dealing with depression that there are all kinds of thoughts and feelings one deals with. There are times I am lonely, but a lot of the time I enjoy solitude and enjoy staying home avoiding people. I have battled bad thoughts, but know what the answers are and are not.
But how many people are out there feeling invisible. Lonely. Unnoticed. I think my church does pretty well with visitors. They all aren't like me, who rarely approaches non-family members, and escapes the church as soon as the song leader stops holding us hostage after church is over. (I might explain that at the end😀) There are cards to fill out, and I know my pastor and assistant pastor go out of their way to speak to visitors and even visit if they leave information.
I am sure though, that there are many churches where someone could slip in and out without people noticing them and speaking to them.
And not just churches. Everywhere there are people who go un-noticed. They are invisible, maybe because of their appearance, or maybe they stink, or have other issues that make people avoid them.
There is a shirt I have seen on line, and one came up for review on Amazon that I missed out on recently, so I bought one and have been wearing it. I have a couple of hoodies coming that say the same thing. (Got a fairly good deal on one, then they popped up an offer to get a second one cheaper. The shirt says on the front: You are enough. The back says "Dear person behind me....." The company that started it advertise them as a suicide deterrent, and have testimonials. Could a shirt like that deter suicide? I guess it is possible. I wore mine Tuesday when I was on my trip, and had a few positive comments. The first took me aback a bit. I was looking at clearance books in a thrift store, and a guy probably a little older than me fist bumped me. I was wondering "what on earth", then he said "Thanks for making me smile with the message on the back of your shirt." Hmm. Cool.
When I am out in public, despite wanting to avoid people, I try to smile at people and say hi or good morning if they make eye contact. Who knows what people are going through. Maybe they feel invisible, un-noticed, unloved. It might not make a difference in their life....but what if it does?
Jesus noticed people. There are a couple of Bible stories that stand out to me regarding that:
1) The woman with the issue of blood. I won't go into the whys, but she was a social outcast because of her issue. She was untouched. People avoided her. But she thought if she could just touch the hem of his garment, she might be healed. I am sure she thought she'd touch it, then scurry away without being noticed. She never was, so why would this time be any different.
But oh, how wrong she was. Jesus immediately asked "Who touched me?" He knew who had, but He wanted her to voice it and why. Maybe He wanted her to feel noticed. His disciples told Jesus someone in the crowd probably bumped into her, but He persisted. So this woman spoke up and admitted it was her. Then Jesus told her that her faith had made her well, and to go in peace.
Thread of Hope by one of my favorite groups puts it like this:
The woman needed healing of that dreaded disease
Her money brought physicians but only Jesus could bring relief
And though her last thread of hope was worn down to a strand
Her heart held onto faith til she could touch him with her hand
Cause when you're hanging by a thread
Still you can climb life's mountain
Though the cliffs are rough and jagged you can cope
If you should slip and reach ropes end
You'll find the hem of his garment
So don't let go of that last thread of hope
2) The woman at the well. This one really gets to me, in a good way. Jesus told His disciples that He needed to go through Samaria. A people looked down on by the Jews. There's a song Karen Peck and New River recorded several years ago. The first verse talks about her:
She could not believe
He would come to her city
Come to a Samaritan well
But He offered and got her
To drink livin' water
Now she's got a story to tell
To make a way
He went out of His way
Came to me
Left Heaven one day
He took a journey alone
Left a Father and home
To make a way
He went out of His way
The Jews just did not like the Samaritans, yet here is Jesus going out of His way to see a woman that was a social outcast even among her people. She had had five husbands, and was shacking up with at least a sixth guy. But Jesus asked her for a drink. Her response was "The Samaritan woman said to him, “How is it that you, a Jew, ask for a drink from me, a woman of Samaria?” (John 4:9 ESV) She was shocked that He noticed her, and would ask someone like her for water. But He went out of His way to let her know she was seen, noticed, loved, and in need of a Savior who loved even her.
Jesus always sees us. Notices us. Loves us. No matter how invisible we are or feel we are, He always sees us. And may all who claim to be followers of Him do the same.
In closing....
The hostage thing. Several years ago, they started something at my church. After the closing prayer was said, the song leader would sing lead out in a chorus to give my pastor time to get back to the door to shake hands with people as they leave. For several years, we were in a rut and did the Doxology. Now, the song leader picks a song or chorus that has something to do with the sermon. Here's the thing: Church is over. I want to leave, but I have to stand there while we sing. And sometimes all the verses of the song, or repeat verses and the chorus. So I kind of view it as being held hostage. 😃
Secondly, I absolutely do not recommend the mentioned restaurant. The food on the bar wasn't that great. I am guessing it is under new management.
Now go out and do your best to make sure anyone crossing your part does not feel invisible.
