One of those areas has always been in the area of forgiveness. I don't know if it is because my sins haven't been the "nice sins" the average Christian deals with, or if I would have been an easy target in that area regardless, but it has been a major struggle for me.
It may seem really bad of me to blame preachers, but I do feel part of the blame lies with some of the preachers I heard over the years. They gave the idea that God was mad at me, and that becoming a Christian was a long, drawn out process, and God had to be begged and convinced to grant forgiveness. And that same God was so fickle, He'd hold that my sins against me until I deserved His forgiveness.
Now I will admit I don't remember any preacher saying any of that in so many words, but one does not have to say something to give that idea to their listeners. Especially listeners that are battling insecurity and are vulnerable.
Other things most likely factor in, and at this point it doesn't really matter. What does matter is that I move on and stop letting the devil get me to carry guilt around for what God has forgiven.
And I have come to believe and realize that becoming a Christian isn't difficult nor a long drawn out process. If the person isn't willing to say yes and surrender, it can be, but it doesn't have to be. That is one reason I am against long altar calls. If a person steps out on their own without prodding or 25 verses of Just As I Am, they are already on their way to surrender and salvation. But the ones who have to be prodded and scared into the altar, and stand through umpteen verses of a guilt and fear stirring invitational hymn...... well they don't want to go anyway, and if they get through, it is going to take some work.
Brian Free and Assurance are not a group I usually listen to, but I have bought their last few CDs as I do like their current style and sound. Their newest CD has got to be the best one they have ever done. The last song on the CD has some unusual wording that I had to listen to a couple of times before I got the idea of the song, but once I did... wow. It is one of those songs that seems like it was written for me. Before the After:
Verse 1
I know that you relive the moments
Like seeing pictures in a book
All those mistakes that you once made
And the wrong roads that you took
I know you’re hearing the accuser
He’s saying “you ain’t changed that much”
Your guilt is right here waiting, but don’t you pick it up
Because everything he’s saying about you was
Chorus:
Before the after, before the grace came in
Forgiven has been written over all you’ve done and who you’ve been
Mercy says the past is past, and it doesn’t matter
‘Cause this is here and now and that was you, before the after
Verse 2:
Sometimes its just one little failure
Sends you back down that broken road
I can identify with that
‘Cause I’ve been there, so I know
The only reason to remember
Is so that you can testify
You talk about the darkness
And how you found the light
For someone else who is struggling
In that old life
Chorus:
Before the after, before the grace came in
Forgiven has been written over all you’ve done and who you’ve been
Mercy says the past is past, and it doesn’t matter
‘Cause this is here and now and that was you, before the after
Bridge:
It has no power, you’ve closed that door
You tell your story, but you don’t live there anymore
Chorus:
Before the after, before the grace came in
Forgiven has been written over all you’ve done and who you’ve been
Mercy says the past is past, and it doesn’t matter
‘Cause this is here and now and that was you, before the after
Sometimes it seems too easy. No matter what I have ever done, God has forgiven it and doesn't remember it against me anymore. The devil remembers and tries to make me feel guilty, and he has succeeded in the past, but hopefully those days are over. And to think that if I do mess up - and I do - all it takes is a prayer of forgiveness for that sin, and all is forgiven and forgotten again. It does seem too easy.
Of course some sins may leave scars, and there may be consequences that forgiveness doesn't take care of, but that isn't what I am talking about. I am talking about there needing to be no guilt. As the song says, the guilt is lying there, but that doesn't mean I need to pick it up. In fact, I need to ignore it and not pick it up.
Christianity isn't about guilt and being forced to do stuff.... it is a relationship. It is easy to get into, but needs maintained, and is guilt free. That is how God intended it.
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