Trusting as a child

 

   I have a hard time trusting God. It is too easy to worry about things, internalize my fears and insecurities instead of just giving them to God. Part of it may be because I am leaning on my own strength too much. I wonder how I will ever do that, or if I can ever manage to conquer that mountain.

  I am only starting to realize how little I am truly depending on God, and still trying to figure things out on my own. Impatience probably plays into it a lot also. I don't like to wait for things. I'll admit it, and it seems like I have been waiting for some things for way too long, yet how much of that time was I really giving it to God and depending on Him to work it out?

  There are two different devotionals I read each day. One has shorter devotionals that I read in the morning, as I am more rushed then. It is Reflections For Ragamuffins by Brennan Manning, and has some great nuggets of truth. The one for today was titled "No Place for Pretense" and talked about children not having to struggle to get into a good position to have a relationship with Jesus Christ.

 The devotional has been sticking in my head all day, and led me to thinking about kids and trust. It is no wonder Jesus said we must be like children to enter the Kingdom of God. Kids don't worry about their parents providing for them, they don't doubt their parents love - at least not young children. They live day to day never worrying about their parents letting them go. They trust their parents unwaveringly. I don't trust God like that. I worry. Then worry more. I wonder if my failures will cancel out His helping me, then I end up in a performance based religion where I try to do things to earn His favor and love.....but the truth of the matter is we can never lose it. The quote below is one I am doing my best to take to heart:

  God proved His love by sending His only Son to die for us. If He is willing to do that, how can I not trust Him? There's a song that says this:

God is too wise to be mistaken
God is too good to be unkind
So when you don't understand
When don't see His plan
When you can't trace His hand
Trust His Heart

  Good advice, and a great reminder. God IS too good to be unkind, and He knows everything. Even my tomorrows. So why is it hard to trust Him? Why is it so hard to be like a kid and not worry?

  We trust people, things, yet often it is hard to trust the God who made it all.

  There are days I look at what I need to change and almost despair, yet God is more patient than we can imagine, even in this area. So I will continue to ask for His help in trusting Him. And in the meantime, I will try to be more like a kid in my relationship with Him.

I BELIEVE, HELP THOU MY UNBELIEF Bill and Gloria Gaither 
 I believe help thou my unbelief
 I'd take the finite risk of trusting like a child
 I believe help thou my unbelief 
I walk into the unknown trusting all the while

 I long so much to feel the warmth that others seem to know but should I never feel a thing I claim him even so I believe help thou my unbelief I walk into the unknown trusting all the while