The Bar Versus the Church

Another blog post I never submitted:
A few years ago, I read The Gift of The Blessing by John Trent and Gary Smalley. There was a story they related that has stuck with me. A woman had an unsaved husband who hung out a lot at the local bar. She got him to go to church with her, and he eventually became a Christian. He attended faithfully for some time, then quit completely and went back to hanging out at the bar. His reason? He missed his friends and the fellowship at the bar. He wasn't getting it at church. Sad.

On to another story....

A young man walked into a Christian bookstore. He was on a mission. Suicide was his plan, but he went into this Christian bookstore hoping and praying someone would approach him, talk to him. After wandering around in the store without anyone talking to him, he went home and took his life.

How many people cross our paths, who if we spoke a kind word to, gave a smile, a listening ear, might change their eternal destiny? Sounds kind of melodramatic, but it is true. Lets look at church first:

Whether it be the person who has sat in the pew across from us for years, or the visitor who has never been in our church before, that person might be on the verge of never coming back to church. Or going home and taking their life. It is possible they are struggling with an issue so complex, so hard - and whether they prevail or give up could depend upon your actions or inactions. Now, I know each individual is responsible for their own actions, and we can't be responsible for what everyone who crosses our path does, but what is the problem that we have become so uncaring, so uninvolved with each other's lives? Are we too busy? Too afraid of interfering, bothering people?

My church has a "welcoming committee" - on Sunday mornings, there are usually 4-5 people at the door to welcome you to church, shake your hand, give you a bulletin. My brother-in-law calls them the "germ squad", since they shake hands with everyone and then you shake their hand....... Anyway, it is a nice thing to do, but is it enough? Does that make everyone who enters the door feel welcome, loved, cared about? Not necessarily. Does make me want to go wash my hands right away. :-)

There have been times I have gone to church with the weight of the world on me. My struggles and temptations driving me into the ground. I was on the verge of throwing up my hands and quitting. And sometimes I have. People would shake my hand and ask  me how I was. Oh, how that has become such a trite question. No one really wants an honest answer to that. I have been tempted to answer honestly on occasion "Well, I feel like God and the church has deserted me, feel like giving up, and wish I were dead." But people don't want to hear that. So I always smile and say "good, and you?"

How many people have given up, gone back to the bar, their life of sin, or found a cult or some off the wall church where they did feel loved and accepted, because the church that they were attending or visited, left them feeling alone, unloved, and unnoticed?

I grew up in Pennyslvania and attended the same church until I moved to Ohio in '93. When I was a kid, the attendance was smaller than it was in later years, often running in the 50's and 60's. If you missed church on Sunday or even Wednesday (unless you were one who viewed Wednesday as optional) - the pastor was at your house the next day to visit you. So most people didn't stay home unless they were really sick - didn't want to tell the pastor the next day that you didn't feel like going. Others in the church often called to check up on you. Sure, some of them may have just been busybodies - we had some in that church. Brings to mind a humorous story.....

My family had missed church once - I think a Sunday, and I think we had gone away - anyway, next day I was home alone and got a call from an older lady from church asking where we had been. I found out later that she had missed the same service also. :-) - She obviously was being a busybody.

But it is nice to know you're missed when you aren't at church. I missed last Sunday evening, and 2 people asked my mom about me, and another person sent me an email. That made me feel good. It is easy to knock others and see the dirt on the other side of the glass, so yes, I try to let people know I missed them when they aren't there. And I admit, I have this fear they will think I am just being nosy, but that isn't the case. Hopefully, they take it the same way that I did last week when those people inquired about me - made me feel someone cared, and it made me feel good that someone noticed that I wasn't in church - that is the way it should be.

So onto the bar. I don't go to bars, but know a bit about them. I read a lot, and have heard people talk about them. I know people go there to drown their sorrows. I know that the same people hang out at the same bars, that they make friends, and spend time with the same people. And I would bet that if Jonny drinks 3 beers doesn't show up at his normal time, that the bartender and regular patrons would notice, and next time he does show up, he would be told he was missed, asked where he had been. I would even guess that someone might call him to check up on him. Obviously for a man to leave the church because he missed the fellowship at the bar, there must be something he is getting at the bar other than a drink.