Christmas 1981
Christmas 1981, the most memorable Christmas of my 52 years. In January of that year, our house had burnt to the ground leaving us with only the clothes we were wearing on our backs, 2 cars, and anything we had in the barn and garage. We lived with my paternal grandmother from January 21 of that year til August, when we finally had enough to start out again, something my parents never thought they would have to do a second time.
That Christmas of 81 was our first Christmas in our new home. My parents always gave my sisters and I a nice Christmas, and spent far more on us than they should have. But that Christmas, it seemed they went all out. Ever since January, we had been given tons of clothing and toys, most of it used. But now we had a ton of brand new gifts in our new home. I think that was the year we all got new bicycles. I can't remember anything else we got, but that Christmas stands out among the many I have celebrated so far.
Christmas 1995
Christmas 1995. Confession: One of my deepest longings was to be a dad, and it is one of my greatest regrets I was never able to have kid so of my own. However, one of the greatest joys of my life is being an uncle to 6 of the greatest kids I know. They will never know how much I love them, and how much better my life has been because they are in it, and are such a big part of my life.
When my sister Vicki announced she was pregnant in 1995, I was over the moon excited about becoming an uncle. I had always wanted a brother, and never got one, so now I set my hopes on having a nephew. I even announced if it was a girl, I was not going to have anything to do with her. Stephanie Marie Giles, now Sanders as of June of this year, was born October 25, 1995.....and everything I said about not wanting a niece went out the window. That Christmas was more special than previous ones because we had a new little baby in the family, and I went all out buying gifts for this adorable little person who had grabbed my heart from day 1. Two more girls followed, and I finally got my nephews after my other sister got married, but by that time I loved all of them equally.
This may be a morbid thought, but for the last several Christmases, I have looked around and had the thought that this might be the last Christmas all of us are there. That day will come at some point. No one lives forever. Every year, there are families who have a loved one with them for the last Christmas. Sometimes they know it is happening if the person is gravely ill, but most of the time we have no idea someone we love will not be here for the next Christmas.
That has happened this year. Covid has taken some people I know, and their families are going to have a giant hole in their Christmas celebrations this year. Christmas for so many is all about family and revolves around Christmas, so Christmas will never be the same again for so many. Loss is felt especially during holidays. That person you loved so much isn't there to buy gifts for anymore, nor will there be gifts from them to you under the tree.
We should make every Christmas a Christmas to remember. It doesn't have to be all about the amount of gifts. I love giving. Every year, my mom talks about how we need to cut back and scolds us for spending so much on her and Dad, but I love buying for my family. I don't have a wife and kids to buy for, but I do have my parents, siblings, their husbands, and nieces and nephews to buy for. I had the thought that I wouldn't want to cut way back, and then lose one of them after the Christmas I cut back on buying. Yeah, another morbid thought.
Gifts are great. I love to give and receive too....might as well be honest.......but I do enjoy watching family open what I got them. Our family is big into gag gifts, or white elephant gifts as some call them. I may have started it. Ok, I did start it....and I usually buy the most and get the most. And this year, I got a couple of great ones. :) They are fun, and are usually something really cheap picked up at a used store or after holiday clearance. There are some that make a yearly appearance, as they get re-gifted. It has become a fun part of our family Christmas. We have had a lot of laughs when gag gifts are opened. We take turns opening gifts, so everyone gets to see what everyone got.
Christmas is a time when families should come together and put aside differences, and just love each other and spend time enjoying each other and having fun.
A boy named Alex
I read something last week that made me feel sad. In one of the many book groups I am in on Facebook, a lady was looking for book ideas for a young man she knows that he might enjoy and that would cheer him up. He came out as gay to his conservative.....and I assume Christian family on Thanksgiving Day. They kicked him out of the house and family, and told him they never want to see him again. He does have his own apartment, but now he has no family for Christmas because his family couldn't love him enough to love him for being something they don't agree with and they believe is wrong.
Side note: I don't care how you feel about anything gay, if a family.....if a Christian....cannot love someone who is gay and treat them like they are still part of the family, if Christians cannot love gay people and treat them as anyone else, then that Christianity is not at all like Jesus. Should the kid have come out? Should he have done it at a holiday? To the latter, their reactions would have been the same no matter when. I can say personally it is no fun to bottle it up inside and keep it secret that you are attracted to the same sex...so whether or not a person is going to "live the gay lifestyle", or just admit they are attracted to the same sex, I can totally understand it and can totally relate.
But come on......that poor kid is going to have a horrible Christmas. The very people who should love him unconditionally, failed at that. No matter their feelings on him being gay, or how he will live, they should love him and welcome him in their homes and lives as they always did.
That is a drastic example, but people so easily hold onto things and let it divide each other. It shouldn't be exclusive to Christmas, but what better time to love each other, forgive, drop grudges, and do all you can to make Christmas special, and make it one to remember?
Me? I will do my part and not speak out about Trump at family gatherings, since I am the only one who despises him and his presidency. :)
But seriously, Christmas is such a special time of year. Yes, it is too commercialized, and we can get lost in all the hustle and bustle of the holiday. We stress about making sure we buy the right things, that we don't miss anyone, that we buy for everyone who buys for us. Maybe we do need to simplify things and just relax and enjoy family. We need too focus more on the reason for the holiday.
I'll be bluntly honest, as I tend to do a lot. Maybe too much. Christmas can be tough at times for me. I have no one special of my own, I have no kids...and so much about Christmas is about romance and family. Merry Christmas, Darling indeed. Though I do like that song. :) It can get lonely. I have spent a lot of days off staying home, reading, having Christmas music playing wall to wall, watching Christmas movies. I have found myself wishing more than once that there was someone here to watch those Christmas movies with, to eat supper with...but it is just me. (Then at other times I am glad I can avoid peopling. Work does really get to me).
Our Christmas this year is going to be a little different. We have always all gone to my parents for Christmas day for gifts, games, eating, and a lot of fun. This year, we have to do the gift opening Christmas Eve, and most of the family will be back Christmas Day for games and eating. A lot of eating, a lot of snacking: my mom's Christmas cookies, her fudge, her Chex mix..... And I plan to beat everyone in every game we play. I can dream....
It will be one of the best days of my year. The people I love most in the world, games, gifts, and a lot of fun and laughter. We do laugh a lot. Mostly because of my jokes. (Kidding, they all just groan). No matter what we do or where we are, we have a lot of fun together and get along great, thank God.
So this Christmas, love your family while you still have them. Hold them close, forgive and let go what you need to let go. Make it a special Christmas to remember, so that when you do have a Christmas with an empty spot, you can look back fondly and know that your last Christmas with that person was a special one to remember, and one with no regrets.
And at some point in your holiday celebrations, pray for a young man named Alex whose family won't be there for him this Christmas, and won't welcome him into their Christmas celebration.
